MatureDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2006
- Messages
- 12,749
- Reaction score
- 5,162
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Yep, a typical BMW (b1tch, moaner & winer) other than the very last line. "Brothers, chose wisely ?" Yeah, what's the deal with ending that statement with a question mark?bigjohnson said:This is a pretty well known quantity by now isn't it?
For what it's worth the author does a lot of bellyaching about things that are the mans job to deal with, whereas I think he(we) should more worry about women not carrying their portion. I have no issue earning for "us", but there is a list of things *she* is supposed to do as well, and she'd better be wiling to do them.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I think the site's information is false, the divorce rate is much higher and that's not taking into account the unhappily married. Just looking at my immediate family and coworkers over 30, the stats are a lot bleaker than you think.tj said:After a quick search this is what I found on divorce stats..for what ever its worth
http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/d/divorce.htm
Yeah, I wouldn't use a site like that for statistics. "Marriages have a 50/50 chance of working!" No sh1t Sherlock, they either work, or they don't! There's nothing else that could happen, DUH!MR_PERFECT said:I think the site's information is false, the divorce rate is much higher and that's not taking into account the unhappily married. Just looking at my immediate family and coworkers over 30, the stats are a lot bleaker than you think.
Francisco d'Anconia said:Yeah, I wouldn't use a site like that for statistics. "Marriages have a 50/50 chance of working!" No sh1t Sherlock, they either work, or they don't! There's nothing else that could happen, DUH!
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Adam007 said:Society automatically paints a stereotype on men who hesitate, delay, or elect not to marry. They are labelled as:
a) womanizers who are unable to participate in a long term relationship, or
b) Selfish/childish/irresponsible men who can not take care of themselves or another person.
No other explanation is ever explored.
People put way too much weight on what "society" thinks. Society is messed up as a whole. Look at the statistics that are referenced, they're based on society. Why worry about what a group of people who's lives are generally screwed up think about how you live your lives? They are more than likely in the state they are in because they were worried about what society felt about them.Adam007 said:...Society automatically paints a stereotype on men who hesitate, delay, or elect not to marry. They are labelled as:
a) womanizers who are unable to participate in a long term relationship, or
b) Selfish/childish/irresponsible men who can not take care of themselves or another person.
No other explanation is ever explored.
You don't think your better than at least 70% of your fellow men? I feel sorry for you brother. Why wouldn't you want to be in the top percentile?bsthatcher said:I suspect you won't find it in azanon either, a hawty lad who thinks he's superior to at least 70% of his fellow men.