Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
We want what we want. The right mindset is that the bank owns a car until a loan is paid off, but Nothing beats the ability to do a cash deal for it, so that goal should be accomplished first…We are conditioned to want more than we can afford, so we will go into debt. That debt is usually owned by the richest people, who are the ones lending the money. Life crushing debt is the best way to keep poor people poor.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I am yet to have a car payment in my life. The hell with that. I was down to a $600 motorcycle for a while and another time a truck that I could only drive at night because it overheated, but still have avoided the payment trap thusfar.We want what we want. The right mindset is that the bank owns a car until a loan is paid off, but Nothing beats the ability to do a cash deal for it, so that goal should be accomplished first…
I have a 20 year old truck that is paid for. The AC and heat don't work. Ill drive it till the wheels fall off. I use it for rental stuff. I drive a nice new car every day.I am yet to have a car payment in my life. The hell with that. I was down to a $600 motorcycle for a while and another time a truck that I could only drive at night because it overheated, but still have avoided the payment trap thusfar.
I'm dead serious. Don't wanna get caught with my pants down.Are you a prepper or are you just being funny?
Ok, that's a bit too paranoid for my liking though.I'm dead serious. Don't wanna get caught with my pants down.
Rent isn’t throwing money away. You take out a loan to pay for a home, what do you call the interest payments to the bank? Your asset could also get crushed by the market. Nothing “only” goes up.Well I rushed getting a place I own, because renting is basically just throwing money out of the window and real estate prices tend to only go up over time here. I don't strictly need a car, I don't work that far away from where I live, but it's a huge convenience.
I tried rushing a girlfriend, but quickly found out just how stupid that actually is and slowed down to be more sensible about it.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Yes it is, I will never see any of that money ever again as I get nothing other than what is basically a service in return for it.Rent isn’t throwing money away.
Yes I do, the interest is what I pay for the service that is the bank lending me money. This is way way cheaper than any rent around here. The rest is basically saving/investing money, I'll get that back when I sell.You take out a loan to pay for a home, what do you call the interest payments to the bank?
Depends what timeframe you're looking at, on average it always goes up. But there's major and minor corrections along the way.Your asset could also get crushed by the market. Nothing “only” goes up.
You don’t follow. You are paying interest for 30 years on a loan. Yes you end up with an asset at the end, but I could just as easily put aside the same amount that you pay in interest in an annuity while paying rent and have the same $ asset after 30 years; maybe higher given the fact that my asset will be far more diversified. The problem is most people are not disciplined enough to put aside money unless they own a house.Yes it is, I will never see any of that money ever again as I get nothing other than what is basically a service in return for it.
Yes I do, the interest is what I pay for the service that is the bank lending me money. This is way way cheaper than any rent around here. The rest is basically saving/investing money, I'll get that back when I sell.
Depends what timeframe you're looking at, on average it always goes up. But there's major and minor corrections along the way.
I live in Norway, it takes a bit more to fvck up our economy than in other countries.
In general, property value continues to rise, even after slumps, while annuities have the risk of bankruptcy, survivorship issues, and you cant touch it till your 59.5 without a penalty, which would negate the annuity. Then you also have the tax help from the home interest writeoffs. If I am strapped for cash, I could take out a home equity or just sell and collect the equity with no penalties.You don’t follow. You are paying interest for 30 years on a loan. Yes you end up with an asset at the end, but I could just as easily put aside the same amount that you pay in interest in an annuity while paying rent and have the same $ asset after 30 years; maybe higher given the fact that my asset will be far more diversified. The problem is most people are not disciplined enough to put aside money unless they own a house.
Well, the best deal when financing a house is simultaneously making principle payments off the back end of the loan in conjunction with your regularly scheduled mortgage payments…In general, property value continues to rise, even after slumps, while annuities have the risk of bankruptcy, survivorship issues, and you cant touch it till your 59.5 without a penalty, which would negate the annuity. Then you also have the tax help from the home interest writeoffs. If I am strapped for cash, I could take out a home equity or just sell and collect the equity with no penalties.
And then about putting the same amount in an annuity? If your mortgage is 1,000/month, your rent is likely to be 1,000 or more. If 500 of your mortgage goes to interest, then you are paying 1,500 total (1,000 rent + 500 annuity payment) to get the same in an annuity, the rent doesnt magically drop to 500/month.
Couple that with the risk of getting booted, dealing with landlords, raising rent prices, or any other rental issues, and it's less than ideal. You could easily make a case for renting or buying, but overall, ownership is likely better long term.
Saying your rent and mortgage payments are the same is made up math, especially if you don’t include property taxes in the mortgage payments. The other thing that’s being ignored is the flexibility rent gives relative to a home. I would never get a home unless I had kids or felt extremely stable where I was.In general, property value continues to rise, even after slumps, while annuities have the risk of bankruptcy, survivorship issues, and you cant touch it till your 59.5 without a penalty, which would negate the annuity. Then you also have the tax help from the home interest writeoffs. If I am strapped for cash, I could take out a home equity or just sell and collect the equity with no penalties.
And then about putting the same amount in an annuity? If your mortgage is 1,000/month, your rent is likely to be 1,000 or more. If 500 of your mortgage goes to interest, then you are paying 1,500 total (1,000 rent + 500 annuity payment) to get the same in an annuity, the rent doesnt magically drop to 500/month.
Couple that with the risk of getting booted, dealing with landlords, raising rent prices, or any other rental issues, and it's less than ideal. You could easily make a case for renting or buying, but overall, ownership is likely better long term.
Getting a car and house/condo/etc is important because they are some of the most basic things we need. You have to love somewhere and you need (usually) a car to get you places. Where people screw up is thinking they need a $50,000 car or a million dollar home. Live modestly, make a $hit ton of money, and spend it on real things like learning and traveling.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.