"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Why I dont do coffee the first date

Julian

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Ok its basically common advice/knowledge to go on a coffee date with a chick for the first time meeting, I say F that. Going for coffee is fine for friends, girlfriends and acquaintances. In my opinion it is a bit too "formal" and interview like. The atmosphere is just not there. Plus think about what your subconciously saying...that you have time in the middle of your day to just go have casual coffee somewhere? HELL NO, if you are a man of the globe and doing important sh1t you dont have time to mope around in a coffee shop, your in and your out, coffee can be drank on the go.

If I am having a beverage with a female it will have alcohol in it, and so will hers. Its just better all around. It is completely casual, I mean afterall we are indulging in alcohol. It will loosen everyones inhibitions/break the ice as well. Is it something I rely on? Hell no but its just an "adult" ritual to me. Thats what we do, we go have a drink and conversate.

Add to the fact that it will likely be in the evening if not at night, it sets the scene better then a daytime coffee shop filled with hipsters writing out their memoirs and loud annoying book clubs comprised by a gaggle of middle aged women or any other coffee shop annoyances.

You take a girl to a nice lounge or a hole in the wall bar, something with some soul and you have a couple drinks. This is seduction. Yes you are using alcohol but its not like your freaking spiking her drink. I would not compare this to using alcohol to gain courage in the clubs. I have a feeling some might try and draw a comparison but I am going to premptively call that out right here on the spot. Plus I actually like to drink and have a taste for high quality alcohol so this screens out chicks who dont "approve" or "like" drinking.

I realize this isnt a possibility with you guys under 21...just keep it in mind for future reference.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Stéphane

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There more to life than alcohol, if a girl is attracted to you she will let you kiss her without inducing alcohol in her drink. Coffee dates are much better because it is neutral territory and both people can easily speak to each other, without having loud music blasting your ears.

Also for people who are frugal with money like me, coffee dates are inexpensive, and there lots of possibilities for escalating the date without spending money. How about walking around the city or park nearby, then rest near a bench with her arm around you.

PS: I'm 21
 

zekko

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Personally I love coffee, I would much rather have coffee than alcohol. But to each his own.

It's your preference, but the idea of the coffee date is that it's short and takes little investment on your time and hers. It's a way of gaining trust and getting to know each other. It's something you could do on your lunch hour (in case your job frowns on you having liquor on your breath). Also, coffee gets your heart rate up, and she may associate this feeling of excitement with you. I guess you could say that about alcohol too.
 

everywomanshero

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Coffee stains your teeth. I would just take the chick for a walk in a park or something if I felt me coming to her place or her coming to mine wasn't an option, but it always is really. I did have one, once who wouldnt come inside, yet blew me in the parking lot oddly enough.

Here's something I've done a few times: Get a bottle of wine, a grill, some steaks and onions and a yellow squash. Take her ass to a park and grill some veggies in foil. After the veggies are almost done, throw the steaks on and put some wine on them (it doesnt really do anything but women seem to think it does). Make sure yo bring silverweak and plates. It's a cheap date. Then say let's go watch a movie and take her back to the pad.
 

Slickster

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Julian said:
Ok its basically common advice/knowledge to go on a coffee date with a chick for the first time meeting, I say F that. Going for coffee is fine for friends, girlfriends and acquaintances. In my opinion it is a bit too "formal" and interview like. The atmosphere is just not there. Plus think about what your subconciously saying...that you have time in the middle of your day to just go have casual coffee somewhere? HELL NO, if you are a man of the globe and doing important sh1t you dont have time to mope around in a coffee shop, your in and your out, coffee can be drank on the go.

If I am having a beverage with a female it will have alcohol in it, and so will hers. Its just better all around. It is completely casual, I mean afterall we are indulging in alcohol. It will loosen everyones inhibitions/break the ice as well. Is it something I rely on? Hell no but its just an "adult" ritual to me. Thats what we do, we go have a drink and conversate.

Add to the fact that it will likely be in the evening if not at night, it sets the scene better then a daytime coffee shop filled with hipsters writing out their memoirs and loud annoying book clubs comprised by a gaggle of middle aged women or any other coffee shop annoyances.

You take a girl to a nice lounge or a hole in the wall bar, something with some soul and you have a couple drinks. This is seduction. Yes you are using alcohol but its not like your freaking spiking her drink. I would not compare this to using alcohol to gain courage in the clubs. I have a feeling some might try and draw a comparison but I am going to premptively call that out right here on the spot. Plus I actually like to drink and have a taste for high quality alcohol so this screens out chicks who dont "approve" or "like" drinking.

I realize this isnt a possibility with you guys under 21...just keep it in mind for future reference.
Totally agree. I hate coffee shops. Every time I drive by a crowded coffee shop I wonder what the hell these people do with their lives that they have enough time to lounge around a coffee shop all day.

Kissing with coffee breath kinda sucks too.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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