I know exactly what your talking about. It's kind of a counter productive thing, because you don't want to be thinking in a "sarging" mode. But then again you don't want to be in the "I'm just having fun" mode because they you'll probably end up never approaching.
The way I see it is that your just going out to have a good time and your way of having fun is approaching women and offering value to them. Basically being outcome dependent, that way there is no pressure because your not expecting anything, if it happens then it happens.
I still honestly think stripping away all your comfort zones and and just learning to have "FUN" on your on is what will really make things easier in the long run, because even if your with friends...those days when your by yourself and see a hot girl, your not in the same state.
I noticed this when I first started learning, especially because my friends were naturals. When it was me by myself though, it was sooo much harder to even talk to chicks. But I've worked on that during the summer to the point where I can go out anywhere by myself and still have fun because I'm going to end up meeting new people regardless.
Pickup is fun and that is why I do it. Messing and playing around with the chicks is what makes it fun, because I'm doing it for my own amusement. I could careless what the people think, all I care about is having fun...which in the end the group ends up having fun because I'm only offering value.
There are alot of theory that contradicts each other...