Why "Good Men are Hard to Find"

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

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"Good" is subjective...and vague/ambiguous.

What constitutes a "good" man or woman?

You go to a car dealership..

You: Yeah, uh, I'm in the market for a good car.

Sales Rep: Well, sir..we consider all of our cars "good". Is there anything in specific you have in mind?

Kinda goes back to direct game...when you're direct, a woman will never have to guess or ask questions about your intentions...which leaves less room for discrepancies and miscommunications.

 

[tksniper]

You hear the saying all the time from women:

"Good men are so hard to find!"

That's because the type of men they hope will come looking for them are too busy chasing success and their goals to worry about going to look for them.

These men know they don't need to worry about that part of their life because women are automatically attracted like bees to sweet smelling flowers by their type of masculine energy that they don't need to go looking for women, the women will come looking for them.

That's not to say they don't need to take advantage of those opportunities when they happen, they still do, just that this mindset so many men have these days is what is separating them from the women they actually want.

While these men are chasing women, the women they want are busy chasing men who are too focused on their goals and success to worry about looking for them.

Something to ponder next time you wonder why you might be having trouble finding women.

What type of energy are you giving off?

The kind that women are naturally attracted to like a magnet, or the kind that repels them like a spraying skunk?

I wouldn’t say good men are hard to find, but hard to get. The same way a nice a$$ isn’t hard to find but hard to get. You can literally spot a nice a$$ in a crowd of 100 mediocre a$$es but you know she’s going to be hard to get.

The perpetual notion of “good men are hard to find” makes us think us high value men can’t be spotted a mile way. If you are high value, women can spot you from the moon.

And if youve ever been high value in your life, you know women can spot you from the moon, another solar system, another galaxy, another universe, another dimension, etc.

Women have a radar for high status. And their radar far exceeds Einstein’s theory of relativity.

Let’s not kid ourselves boys. If you were high status, you would know it.

 

[BaronOfHair]

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"Good" is subjective...and vague/ambiguous.

Not to mention an indirect way of saying: "Those I'd like to mate with don't always behave exactly as I'd PREFER", or/and "I'm not attracting those I find desirable". Once we start getting specific like that, we can start inquiring:

-"Is it sane for me to expect ANYONE to ALWAYS behave exactly as I want them to?"

-"What benefits do I offer/bring to those I desire?"

-"Are the sort of folk I currently desire especially beneficial to me, or is my perception of them little more than a mirage?"

Start having brutally honest chats like these with ourselves, and we increase our prospects for achieving concrete, tangible goals

 

[Barrister]

I suppose in a way, good men ARE hard to find if your definition of a "good" man is one is firing on all cylinders (great job/$, great social skills, great social proof, good looks, etc.). Most men don't have those things or at most only one of them. The irony is in the fact that most women have even less to offer on average than the average man does outside of spreading her legs. Most of them are addicted to social media, have no actual skills, aren't in good shape, and don't want to submit to the man and will actively resist the man trying to lead. To top that off, almost all of them have extremely unrealistic expectations for what they "deserve", which has been exacerbated by Tik Tok and dating apps.

While you could comment to these women that people in glass houses shouldn't be throwing stones, the truth is they aren't going to listen to you. Other clueless women on Tik Tok are telling them otherwise and that is who they are going to believe.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I suppose in a way, good men ARE hard to find if your definition of a "good" man is one is firing on all cylinders (great job/$, great social skills, great social proof, good looks, etc.). Most men don't have those things or at most only one of them. The irony is in the fact that most women have even less to offer on average than the average man does outside of spreading her legs. Most of them are addicted to social media, have no actual skills, aren't in good shape, and don't want to submit to the man and will actively resist the man trying to lead. To top that off, almost all of them have extremely unrealistic expectations for what they "deserve", which has been exacerbated by Tik Tok and dating apps.

While you could comment to these women that people in glass houses shouldn't be throwing stones, the truth is they aren't going to listen to you. Other clueless women on Tik Tok are telling them otherwise and that is who they are going to believe.

That's because the ones who aren't like that get snapped up ASAP by just those type of men, leaving others to fight over their rejects which become worse and worse as they get older.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Most of the time they rejected the "Nice Guys".

Good guys are nice guys with a backbone that don't tolerate the disrespect and don't put up with the BS and will walk away.

Nice guys are the ones who think agreeing with everything they say and being a doormat are the way to get sex and women.

Very few women are rejecting good guys. They reject nice guys.

Agreed, but most women today call the "good guys" you mention narcissistic, controlling, or even abusive (the three most common words used by today's modern women, the fourth being "trauma"), so it's a double-edged sword. You can’t be a nice guy with no backbone because she doesn't respect it, you'll get humiliated, and she'll cheat. The good guy gets called all the other names I mentioned. There is a very slim percentage of women (~5%) who will respect a man that has backbone, behave and stick around, but most just dump, toss, and start swiping again when they don't get their way.

So the solution is to go 100% short-term relationships where you don't go in all the way, keep your distance somewhat, be kind of available, and have s*x with them. This keeps you free from all the BS because you can bail at any time and lose nothing but some flex time. Women can be a HUGE time and money suck at the expense of a man's goals, career, finances, and especially health, both mental and physical, and it’s only getting worse in today’s dating environment. We’ve all been there.

Focus on YOU 100%.

Sucks for the guys who want to start a family, I get that. But keep in mind to get the kids, you WILL be sacrificing your goals, time, money, health, friendships and basically anything you want to do as 100% of your focus is on the kids. Plus, there's a 60% chance of divorce (in the US) and it's much higher in Europe. Of the remaining 40%, 80% stay together for kids and/or finances, so do the math on that one. You can be paying alimony, child support, lose half your money and possessions, including your house because "she's not happy." It takes two votes to get married but only one to get divorced. Family courts can and usually do destroy a man with no remorse. Keep all that in mind.

Gents, I wish it were different, but it's not. Those are the rules of engagement and women created them -- for all the reasons you can probably think of.

As they say in boxing, protect yourself at all times.

Ciao,
~Dash

 

[Barrister]

That's because the ones who aren't like that get snapped up ASAP by just those type of men, leaving others to fight over their rejects which become worse and worse as they get older.

Those type of women are extremely rare and even men who have all those high-level qualities usually don't get women like that simply because there aren't many women in existence who are that way. Men, the high powered ones included, usually are just going to get the hottest woman they can since we are engineered that way, and ironically those women in today's society can many times be some of the very worse in terms of their mindsets, expectations, and actual value outside of their looks.

Even 5 years ago I would have been one of those men angling for the best HB I could based almost purely on looks. Some bad experiences have made me finally get a little smarter about it. She absolutely must be good looking to me and me feel sexual attraction, but my screening process adds in the more important stuff now. Experience has been a harsh but a good teacher for me. I find myself angling more towards the HB 7s who have more substance than just what they see in the mirror.

 

[The Duke]

One must always realize that people value different things in others and assign different value to these things they feel are important qualities.

That's why it's important that your version of a "good" man is equivalent to her version if you want something that will last. It's rare to find.

 

[BaronOfHair]

That's why it's important that your version of a "good" man is equivalent to her version if you want something that will last. It's rare to find.

Brings us back to a point raised awhile back https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/question-fumbled-bag.284787/#post-3171424

Many a gal has snagged an exceptionally rich guy(her definition of "good" never extended beyond: "What and how many things can he buy for me?"), only to discover:

The same traits which led him to that sort of monetary success(spending 200 hours a week at the office, revolving his entire life around work)often = a husband who's physically unavailable most of the time, and too worn out for much of anything, even on those occasions when he is around

Women like this end up being the sort who run off with the SAA of a nearby outlaw motorcycle gang, who's not nearly as wealthy, yet brings exhilaration back into their lives

 

[RangerMIke]

I must not be a "good" man, the majority of the time I've had to put in effort and go look for the girls. I always hoped they would be lined up at my door step one day, but that hasn't happened yet.

Yep. I don't care how great a man might believe he is, if you don't put in the effort, you won't have a chance, this is my experience as well.

The challenge is to not try too hard, and for God's sake, don't bend over backwards to keep something going unless you are getting effort on her part.

What is a 'good' man is different for each woman and depending on what is going on in her life at the moment, what is 'good' will change. What she needs and wants changes like the wind. The younger and hotter she is, the more the wind changes.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

The good news and the bad news are the same. Solid people pair off young, get married and stay that way. My son & daughter-in-law are great examples of this. He's 23. She's 22. Second child on the way & the first one is only 9 months.

Totally planned, totally all in.

I know other young couples just like them......

So the really young guys around here? Pay attention. If you want a family and you are on the ball? Good girls will want to take the journey with you.

The playboy lifestyle is not compatible with what it takes for leading a family gentlemen. I wish TRP was more honest with young men about that.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Advice from the old lady:

The good news and the bad news are the same. Solid people pair off young, get married and stay that way. My son & daughter-in-law are great examples of this. He's 23. She's 22. Second child on the way & the first one is only 9 months.

Totally planned, totally all in.

I know other young couples just like them......

So the really young guys around here? Pay attention. If you want a family and you are on the ball? Good girls will want to take the journey with you.

The playboy lifestyle is not compatible with what it takes for leading a family gentlemen. I wish TRP was more honest with young men about that.

I have to say that I think that many people who get married too young do themselves a disservice. Not always, and it's highly dependent on the individuals, but the data and evidence shows that getting married younger leads to higher divorce ratss, typically within the first 10 years. I also think there is a very clear reason for it.

In your early 20s and really through your mod to late 20s, you are still "finding your way" as an adult and are in a phase of rapid personal development and growth socially, emotionally, and professionally.

Someone getting married in their early 20s often times will experience huge changes to who they are as a person by the time they hit age 30, along with their life goals, career goals, likes and dislikes, what they expect from a partner, etc...

If the person they are married to doesn't evolve in the same direction their paths just naturally diverge and at that point they are simply incompatible with each other fundamentally, no matter how compatible they were initially.

Personally, I don't think it makes sense to get married, but if I was to get married, it most certainly would not be during a time where neither person knows who they will actually end up being or what they will want in 5-7 years, regardless of how sure they feel that they know because they ultimately don't know and cannot know.

Waiting til late 20s to early 30s allows for that period of rapid growth to slow down as a person evolves into a more stable version of what can be expected throughout the rest of their life. Obviously people are constantly evolving and changing, but it's far less rapid than during your early adult years when everything is still new and you don't have the experiences you need under your belt yet.

That being said, there is always a chance that two people who get married when they are young last forever...it's just statistically far less likely, and usually it's 10 years or less, which coincides with the time that they have diverged from who they were in their early 20s

 

[BadBoy89]

So the really young guys around here? Pay attention. If you want a family and you are on the ball? Good girls will want to take the journey with you.

The playboy lifestyle is not compatible with what it takes for leading a family gentlemen. I wish TRP was more honest with young men about that.

You are not putting any onus on the women here. Alot of men don't like the playboy lifestyle, or even can do it if they try. Alot of men want a wife, they want a family, they want her to get pregnant. Yet alot of women don't want that, or they delay and divorce, or the trick and divorce, or the cash out in divorce.

I would say at least 95% of the men on Sosuave are decent guys. They have a condo, they have a job, they pay their bills, their taxes, they are decent to other people, they seem to speak coherently and in good English. So what's the issue? It's not the playboy lifestyle that's keeping them from settling down. It's more the "I want my freedom / how much money do I get if I divorce?" that's keeping them from settling down.

Now the comeback may be "well, they should have found her when they were young" Well, any girl in her 20s who looks decent generally won't accept a normal guy who wants a family. Guy has to be top 5% if she's going to settle down with him. The decent girls in their 20s are in high demand and not genetically blessed man has no chance.

 

[BeExcellent]

To address the comments of @BackInTheGame78 and @BadBoy89 ......

Firstly I agree that most of the guys around here are decent guys. No debate from me about that. Further I agree that if a man is not sorted as to what he wants his life to be, then he has no business getting married, because he has no purpose or journey established for a good woman to join.

But here is where I disagree, and disagree strongly...

The 20s are NOT the years that young people should be finding themselves. The TEEN years are.

You see, I think modern parenting is largely failing Gen Z because teenagers are not being taught adulting with training wheels, are not being taught to fail with parental advice and guidance, are not being taught that at 18 you are an adult and its your life to go live, so to figure out what that life looks like.

I mean seriously? In another 50 years are we going to tell grown adults that its ok to be an imbecile in your teens and 20s, and that your 30s is for finding yourself, and life really gets underway in your forties? Too many people are imbeciles in their 20s already, immature and ill prepared to be a self sufficient adult. For desirable women those men who DO have their act together are a clear choice over the immature guys trying to grow up in the 20s.

I know dozens couples who were high school or college sweethearts who married young, raised families, stayed together, and now that their children are grown are enjoying a freedom to enjoy life, and now they are not struggling or broke, so they have means to do this. The basist in my band is such a guy. Married 30+ years, super cool wife, three grown daughters, grandkids, and he built a business in his youth that takes care of his family very well. I know many couples like this....

He grew up the son of a small businessman in Chicago, and as a teen he was working in the family business, earning money, figuring out what he wanted to do with himself. He was also in a band and playing out, touring, working his ass off. He is short, stocky, and average looking. But he was ambitious and found his wife in his early 20s, settled down and they built a great family and great life together. The business he built was very different than the family business (a bakery), but he learned HOW to run a business, and decided that was what he was going to do.

My son knew very young he wanted to be a pilot. He has done everything throughout his teens and college to achieve that goal. He is building his legacy as he builds his family now. And he will be WAY ahead of men in their 20s who are trying to figure out life at that age...

My son married a young woman who wants to be A WIFE. A wife who is utterly devoted to him and who trusts him to lead the family. And their marriage is rooted firmly in religious faith, which aids my son in his decision making.....There are girls like that out there, but many young men run screaming from women who seek to be wives and mothers because they are ill prepared to lead such women, take on the responsibilities that entails, and lead. My son chose that responsibility because he was ready to lead a marriage and a family as well as his own life.

But as imperfect as his father and I are, we prepared him during his teenage years, we were brutally honest with him about what success takes, and we used our own failures as examples of what NOT to do. We prepared our daughters as well, and they are also focused in life, self reliant, and expect the man they choose to have his act together. They know at 18, they are grown. Off you go, so you better have a gameplan.

This is a huge part of the problem (lack of preparation of teens by parents) and it gets overlooked because it is an uncomfortable truth.

So part of this falls on crappy parenting (why young men are still so immature into the 20s)....how can we raise daughters to be good wives if the vast majority of sons are still grossly immature until 30? Gen Z people are asking this question to a fair degree...and the good ones out there pair off, get married, and are forever off the market.

Which is why the women who are still single at 30 are not taken....there is a reason nobody picked them. And I understand guys in that mating market may not believe what I am saying.....because they've never seen it, but it's going on between solid marriage worthy men and women. They are getting together and staying together more than the PUA community would have men believe.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

To address the comments of @BackInTheGame78 and @BadBoy89 ......

Firstly I agree that most of the guys around here are decent guys. No debate from me about that. Further I agree that if a man is not sorted as to what he wants his life to be, then he has no business getting married, because he has no purpose or journey established for a good woman to join.

But here is where I disagree, and disagree strongly...

The 20s are NOT the years that young people should be finding themselves. The TEEN years are.

You see, I think modern parenting is largely failing Gen Z because teenagers are not being taught adulting with training wheels, are not being taught to fail with parental advice and guidance, are not being taught that at 18 you are an adult and its your life to go live, so to figure out what that life looks like.

I mean seriously? In another 50 years are we going to tell grown adults that its ok to be an imbecile in your teens and 20s, and that your 30s is for finding yourself, and life really gets underway in your forties? Too many people are imbeciles in their 20s already, immature and ill prepared to be a self sufficient adult. For desirable women those men who DO have their act together are a clear choice over the immature guys trying to grow up in the 20s.

I know dozens couples who were high school or college sweethearts who married young, raised families, stayed together, and now that their children are grown are enjoying a freedom to enjoy life, and now they are not struggling or broke, so they have means to do this. The basist in my band is such a guy. Married 30+ years, super cool wife, three grown daughters, grandkids, and he built a business in his youth that takes care of his family very well. I know many couples like this....

He grew up the son of a small businessman in Chicago, and as a teen he was working in the family business, earning money, figuring out what he wanted to do with himself. He was also in a band and playing out, touring, working his ass off. He is short, stocky, and average looking. But he was ambitious and found his wife in his early 20s, settled down and they built a great family and great life together. The business he built was very different than the family business (a bakery), but he learned HOW to run a business, and decided that was what he was going to do.

My son knew very young he wanted to be a pilot. He has done everything throughout his teens and college to achieve that goal. He is building his legacy as he builds his family now. And he will be WAY ahead of men in their 20s who are trying to figure out life at that age...

My son married a young woman who wants to be A WIFE. A wife who is utterly devoted to him and who trusts him to lead the family. And their marriage is rooted firmly in religious faith, which aids my son in his decision making.....There are girls like that out there, but many young men run screaming from women who seek to be wives and mothers because they are ill prepared to lead such women, take on the responsibilities that entails, and lead. My son chose that responsibility because he was ready to lead a marriage and a family as well as his own life.

But as imperfect as his father and I are, we prepared him during his teenage years, we were brutally honest with him about what success takes, and we used our own failures as examples of what NOT to do. We prepared our daughters as well, and they are also focused in life, self reliant, and expect the man they choose to have his act together. They know at 18, they are grown. Off you go, so you better have a gameplan.

This is a huge part of the problem (lack of preparation of teens by parents) and it gets overlooked because it is an uncomfortable truth.

So part of this falls on crappy parenting (why young men are still so immature into the 20s)....how can we raise daughters to be good wives if the vast majority of sons are still grossly immature until 30? Gen Z people are asking this question to a fair degree...and the good ones out there pair off, get married, and are forever off the market.

Which is why the women who are still single at 30 are not taken....there is a reason nobody picked them. And I understand guys in that mating market may not believe what I am saying.....because they've never seen it, but it's going on between solid marriage worthy men and women. They are getting together and staying together more than the PUA community would have men believe.

The point wasn't about "finding yourself". The point was that what you initially find is usually not what you eventually become by the age of 30, in most cases.

Your likes, wants, desires, thoughts and decisions often drastically change over time as you mature. And why wouldn't they?

Very few people are as mature at age 22 as they are at age 30. This is well known psychologically and behaviorally in humans that much of the "adult growth" happens during this period of time.

No different than a person who starts a new job and then after a decade has become a "master" at it and has gotten promoted multiple times so they are no longer at the same position as when they started.

Why would human behavior be any different? When you initially become an adult and are right out of college, why would you expect them to be done growing? Most of them have zero life experience as an adult to fall back on so everything that happens is a new data point for them. Essentially they are sailing in uncharted waters at that point.

That's them literally starting day 1 of being "on the job" as a true adult out of school and in the real world. All you can do is prepare them for that as best you can for it, but you have no idea what situations they are actually going to be facing in life until they reach that time.

Expecting they already have it all figured out, is absurd. Experience is the best teacher and that often times comes from making mistakes and learning from them, which then leads to personal growth and that cannot be replicated or replaced by really anything.

Is a person who just went up and approached the first woman in his life going to be as good at it as the person who has been doing it for 10 years regularly? No. Same concept and same reason...they haven't had time to learn from their mistakes, find out what works and what doesn't, and how to adopt the right mindset, etc...

This is not directed towards your son and DIL, but at the concept of marrying young in general. Statistics back it up as does human psychology and behavioral studies, that it usually leads to higher divorce rate right around the time of "maximum divergence" that occurs when they realize that the person they were 8-10 years ago isn't who they are today and that the person they are with no longer shares their same life goals or values.

 

[pipeman84]

In your early 20s and really through your mod to late 20s, you are still "finding your way" as an adult and are in a phase of rapid personal development and growth socially, emotionally, and professionally.

Someone getting married in their early 20s often times will experience huge changes to who they are as a person by the time they hit age 30, along with their life goals, career goals, likes and dislikes, what they expect from a partner, etc...

Waiting til late 20s to early 30s allows for that period of rapid growth to slow down as a person evolves into a more stable version of what can be expected throughout the rest of their life.

Personality and character are well formed by the time a person is 18. No such thing as 'finding yourself at 20' (euphemism for being promiscuous) and transforming into wife material at 30. That's laughable. One could make a case for men to marry later as they mature later and more importantly they need life experience in order to become leaders of their family and in many cases the financial resources necessary to raise the family may not be there at 22 but be present at +30.
But waiting for a woman to reach her late 20s early 30s in order to consider marrying her is peak beta. Sounds like you should go through this Hall of Excellence thread.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Personality and character are well formed by the time a person is 18. No such thing as 'finding yourself at 20' (euphemism for being promiscuous) and transforming into wife material at 30. That's laughable. One could make a case for men to marry later as they mature later and more importantly they need life experience in order to become leaders of their family and in many cases the financial resources necessary to raise the family may not be there at 22 but be present at +30.
But waiting for a woman to reach her late 20s early 30s in order to consider marrying her is peak beta. Sounds like you should go through this Hall of Excellence thread.

Nobody said "finding yourself". I said developing into a mature form of yourself that has gained experience and knowledge.

But to your original point, people who have studied human psychology and beahvior strongly disagree with you almost across the board.

This would be like saying that on day 1 of your new job you should know and be as good at it as you would in year 10 without having ever done it or had the 10 years of experience doing it.

Anyone who claims they didn't learn anything from their experiences in life from age 20 to 30 and didn't have significantly different goals or ambitions at those stages of their life are either lying or full of sh!t.

 

[pipeman84]

Nobody said "finding yourself". I said developing into a mature form of yourself that has gained experience and knowledge.

But to your original point, people who have studied human psychology and beahvior strongly disagree with you almost across the board.

This would be like saying that on day 1 of your new job you should know and be as good at it as you would in year 10 without having ever done it or had the 10 years of experience doing it.

Anyone who claims they didn't learn anything from their experiences in life from age 20 to 30 and didn't have significantly different goals or ambitions at those stages of their life are either lying or full of sh!t.

You're making a straw-man argument as if I had claimed that people stop evolving at age 20.
I said that the prerequisites for a good marriage (particularly in case of women) are already there by age 18. To use your job parallel, sought after firms recruit people straight out of high school or college. They're looking for people with a life vision and who by that age have already proven abilities. They don't wait till they are 30 and have prison records for fraud/theft/embezzlement or simply have been fired from several positions for lack of work ethics, being incompetent or whatever.

 

[BeExcellent]

Nobody said "finding yourself". I said developing into a mature form of yourself that has gained experience and knowledge.

But to your original point, people who have studied human psychology and beahvior strongly disagree with you almost across the board.

This would be like saying that on day 1 of your new job you should know and be as good at it as you would in year 10 without having ever done it or had the 10 years of experience doing it.

Anyone who claims they didn't learn anything from their experiences in life from age 20 to 30 and didn't have significantly different goals or ambitions at those stages of their life are either lying or full of sh!t.

In marriage you grow together. You share those changes and that process of evolving alongside your spouse. Babies do not come with a user manual. Life happens outside expectations. When you choose a life partner as an idealistic young person you have this idea that you are in it together, ride or die, come hell or high water. It is a decision that requires a degree of faith, belief in something bigger than yourself, a level of maturity.

It is a level of committment you cannot experience except through doing, much like being a parent. It must be lived experience. Without that experience you do not grow in that way. You can wait until your 40s to marry. You still will not grasp what marriage really is until you do it.....but by the time a person is that many years older, the immaturity borne of inexperience still exists, but the idealism of youth is severely eroded and replaced with a jadedness and selfishness that the hope of youth often finds a way to transcend.

I married a never married childless man in his 40s. He has had to undergo the maturation process that a marriage committment requires. He still carried all his expectations from youth (which being married has a way of dashing, but replacing with something much more meaningful and valuable, and earned as you grow together.)......

It is a process of moving from independence to a higher plane of interdependence. And an individual cannot do that alone.

We humans are more resilient in youth, less jaded by life. It is also when the body and mind has more energy to bear the challenges of childrearing...the recovery is faster in youth. So you will not be suddenly wise enough as an individual. You have to learn it by doing, and you have a longer runway to recover from mistakes in youth.....mistakes within the marriage I am talking about....and you have more time to entwine your lives into a meaningful partnership.

You are likely now too jaded to allow yourself the leap of faith marriage requires. So you may rob yourself of something profoundly meaningful that you do not know is possible.....

But deep down that is something all
humans yearn for.

 

[BadBoy89]

@BeExcellent

This issue is you are equating a man having his acting together and wanting a family to knowing how to attract a decent looking young woman. One has nothing to do with the other. Alot of men don't figure out how to attract women until their 30s or even later. They know how to study, how to create a business, how to play music, how to make friends, they know how to become doctors, lawyers, CEOs when they are young, but they don't know how to attract a woman.

So if even if the man is great, when the desirable women come to him, he will sabotage it because he doesn't think he is good enough. He can't handle it when sex is involved with a good looking young woman. Who's fault is that?

Other than that I agree with what you are saying.