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Why Girls Like Assh*les (From an ex-Stripper)

floydb25

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What people need to realize is that everyone has different tastes, standards, opinions, and type of people they associate with. They dont speak for everyone - only themselves, their friends, and people just like them. Everything they say is from their own little bubble. I never met a stripper who DIDNT date bad boys, get into alcohol and drugs, and other issues. A stripper is probably the WORST person to listen to.

But, the guys on here chase after this type all the same, and get caught up in the crazy bubble. Its all you are going to see. So, of course you are going to assume that ALL women are *****es / *****s / losers who seek out the equivalent.

But it is what it is.
 

bigneil

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We were celebrating her taking a job as a full time waitress. She's growing up. This girl was not the common stripper. She can't stand it now, but stuck with me despite her 180. Our relationship is growing. I haven't had too many relationships grow over time.

Stagger Lee said:
You can test it out and never initiate anything with her over a period time, but I bet what she says won't pan out. I bet she'll rarely initiate sex in reality.
This is a good point. But the truth is, when I looked back on our relationship, the times when things were the best was when I let her initiate.

We had just had sex, and she was just saying "If you hadn't tried, I would have" and that it would have been more intense.

It's the same strategy as NC applied to physical - it's NPC. But we have people here saying in the same breath that you should maintain NC but not NPC.
 

Aristippus

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You can basically use eye contact to your advantage here. You'd be surprised how many women will initiate touch if you're friendly and they are simply comfortable with you and you maintain good eye contact. Advancing actually starts before the first friendly touch. Then it gradually builds.

I think her description is missing a lot of details. And pretty much all physical advancing works the same (from my point of view). At some point the woman is initiating a lot of physical touch and I simply reciprocate. She gets closer to me. I let her and keep eye contact. Maybe I smile and let her know non-verbally that I welcome her into my space.

She can stand inches from me and I can feel the sexual tension building. Then she locks eyes with me and puts her hand on my arm gently. Maybe she leans towards me with her face only inches from me. I think you get the idea. There's a lot of stuff going on that she's leaving out.
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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I ain't listening to sh!t a stripper has to say.
 

SoSuave666

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bigneil said:
But the EX stripper (not stripper ex) is the one who (last night before f*cking me) told me that I remind her of the lead character from 50 shades of Gray.

Monday night she texted "OMG... I'm reading this book and you and the character are literally the same person... like everything I read I'm like wowwwwww, Neil". We've had 20 dates.


Wow. This is the guy who said never to contact her again in March. I'll bet SoSuave666 really is tired of hearing about it because his advice was proven wrong 10 times over.

Breaking NC is ok even if she did lose interest - so long as are you vastly improved - i.e. you lost (now) 40 lb. As soon as she saw that, romance was back. Prior to that, yes, she had lost interest. This wasn't sex for money, she wasn't drunk and she's no longer a stripper. But she's half my age and not even 21. Girls like that are so fickle you can turn them off by using a certain word that is not hip. IMO her advice is worth its weight in gold.
Of course I said never contact her again. NC is not a means to re-attract someone. It's a way to move on and meet someone else. You used it as a tool to get someone back. You lose. When she breaks up with you and you go back to her through your own initiation, whether it be 60 days or 60 years, you have dismissed control and are slowly, but surely, going to move back in to a one-sided female dominated relationship. Nothing has changed with you. You are no mentally stronger than you were before. Maybe you got a nice haircut and got your BF down, but your mental state will surely digress back to your previous oneitis state, if it hasn't already. I do not condone NC as a way to get your ex back, but if it ever works it needs to be HER that comes back to YOU, not the other way around. You can't go NC, then go actively trying to get her back because you 'changed' and are 'a better man.' If it sounds needy and stupid to us here at SS, imagine what it's like for a girl who dumped you.

I know your type. You are the older dude in the bar who wears fedoras and suspenders and hits on every single girl with exaggerated pickup lines and just comes off creepy. Now that one girl has finally bitten, you can't give her up. You stick around because hey, you're 40-something and she is 20-something, so it's the best you can do, right? You're only getting older while she is moving into her prime. Your have a pride and an ego, but ultimately I think your diminishing self-worth is going to be your downfall. You probably won't admit it here, but a man who values himself has more options than a stripper.

I'm sure you've got money, probably another girl or two, but none of that really matters to you as much as this stripper--and that's the problem. You place extreme value on anything she says, even when it's something so blatantly untrue. Grow up man, you sure are physically old enough to understand this stuff, but mentally you're pretty far off.

Also, I'm pretty sure you are nothing like Christian Grey. Your neediness seeps through these posts at an alarming level. You don't seem dominant, in control, and non-chalant. You gave this girl control of the emotional part of the relationship when you broke NC, and now you are letting her control the physical aspect of it as well.

Women don't want control, trust me. They don't want to be the one who initiates physical activity because eventually, they will feel inadequate. It's not the same as when you meet a girl and you playfully neg her or ignore her to gain attraction. If you don't eventually take them by the waist, pick their a$$es up, and rail them in the bathroom of that party you're at, she's going to feel undesired. And trust me, someone else will make them feel desired. When it's all said and done, a female's attraction is based on how YOU make HER feel about HERSELF, not how you make her feel about YOU.

But hey, wait around for secks, let her control the dynamics of your physical relationship. I'd love to see how that works out for you. But for Godssakes, don't go throwing this trash around like it's Gospel. This is not the truth, and people should not be subjected to it.
 

Leporello

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I think literally none of my relationships would've gotten off the ground if I didn't make the first move.

Sure, it's nice if a girl is so crazy for you that she lets go of her natural tendency to test your initiative, but this is the exception.
 

bigneil

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Never wore a fedora, and women approach me. But give up, it's too late SoSuave666. You already said Christian Grey was the man to emulate and she had already said I remind her of Christian Grey - after dating me for 12 months. Now you're saying that YOU know that SHE is wrong about me? Based on my posts? Folks, this is Hater 101.

The text I used that triggered her confession was "You can come over tomorrow but you can't change the rules of the game. You must know there are no rules." The previous date: "The bad news is that it's time for your bath, whether you like it or not." Both times she came over and got naked without my sending another text.

I'm not dominant? When she and I first met we had unprotected sex within 15 minutes (she was 19) without my so much as buying her a drink or tipping her $1. To this day she makes me wear a condom and can't explain what came over her that night.

cordoncordon said:
Delusional people will delusion.

The end.
You wish it was the end. Like I said, she (being the girl you said would never come back to me) picked Christian Grey as the person I remind her of, not me. I'm doing something right.

Once a woman embellishes you into her fantasies, it's too late (Art of Seduction). I have documented the exact steps I took in getting there, and CordonCordon was there to say I was wrong every step along the way (he might be SoSuave666 btw). I was meticulous about every word in every message to her. It's working. I'm not there yet.

The truth is, she does have control issues. Most girls like being dominated but it freaks her out and she's trying to work it out with me.
 

Trump

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bigneil said:
I see what you guys are saying. Trust me, she is the opposite of most women.
I don't know much about your specific situation, but the above type of thinking is VERY dangerous.

As soon as you start thinking your women/job/friend is special, and they start feel it, they will use it against you to their full advantage.
 

cordoncordon

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bigneil said:
Never wore a fedora, and women approach me. But give up, it's too late SoSuave666. You already said Christian Grey was the man to emulate and she had already said I remind her of Christian Grey - after dating me for 12 months. Now you're saying that YOU know that SHE is wrong about me? Based on my posts? Folks, this is Hater 101.

The text I used that triggered her confession was "You can come over tomorrow but you can't change the rules of the game. You must know there are no rules." The previous date: "The bad news is that it's time for your bath, whether you like it or not." Both times she came over and got naked without my sending another text.

I'm not dominant? When she and I first met we had unprotected sex within 15 minutes (she was 19) without my so much as buying her a drink or tipping her $1. To this day she makes me wear a condom and can't explain what came over her that night.


You wish it was the end. Like I said, she (being the girl you said would never come back to me) picked Christian Grey as the person I remind her of, not me. I'm doing something right.

Once a woman embellishes you into her fantasies, it's too late (Art of Seduction). I have documented the exact steps I took in getting there, and CordonCordon was there to say I was wrong every step along the way (he might be SoSuave666 btw). I was meticulous about every word in every message to her. It's working. I'm not there yet.

The truth is, she does have control issues. Most girls like being dominated but it freaks her out and she's trying to work it out with me.
I realize after a period of time with you posting on this site that anything anyone says to you is going to be quickly dismissed if it does not fit into your little world. You are one of the few people that I have come across in life that are truly mentally ill. Not to the point where you can't function, I mean you do well, but you just see things "differently". Lindsey Lohan is like that. Doesn't really matter what anyone says or does to her, she is gonna do what she is gonna do, with no cognitive ramifications in her world as the result of her actions. She could run over 15 people while drunk driving, skid off the road and end up in the ICU, but a month later, she will be saying "it never happened". Your world and what is reality are so different, so frustratingly different, that to normal people, its seems crazy. And it is. But to you, it is perfectly normal and sane and we are the crazy ones.

So....whatever works for ya.
 

Fly By Night

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So are you telling me that I am not allowed to talk to a woman I am interested in, but I must wait for her to talk to me? I feel like being a needy AFC who brings flowers to each date would get more action. At least he initiates on her.

Now this only works if you are the male with the highest value in the room because the women want the best of the best, and they will stop at nothing to have it. If you are a normal joe-shmoe, this will never get you any action.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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Fly By Night said:
So are you telling me that I am not allowed to talk to a woman I am interested in, but I must wait for her to talk to me? I feel like being a needy AFC who brings flowers to each date would get more action. At least he initiates on her.

Now this only works if you are the male with the highest value in the room because the women want the best of the best, and they will stop at nothing to have it. If you are a normal joe-shmoe, this will never get you any action.
Men are always the chasers. We automatically devalue ourselves because if you're not interested in a girl, there are 100 other guys who will step up to the plate. Even as a handsome millionaire, you still won't have women coming up to you like a plain jane has men coming up to her.

Don't believe me? Put up a profile of a male model online who makes 100k+. Then put up a girl you think is a 4 with no education. Come back here and tell me which profile has more messages.
 

Dust 2 Dust

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Following this advice will get you friend zoned the vast majority of the time.
 

bigneil

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It's obvious that most members here have never had women hit on them, so they can't stand the notion that women should be initiating more, but those who have scored like PairPlusRoyalFlush know what I'm talking about.

A girl prefers a guy who has another woman so he isn't needy. She just broke up with her first boyfriend and was telling me how he turned her off by being clingy and needy, and that she had stopped dating me 6 months earlier because I acted that way one night. I joked: "But I need foreplay!! Why won't you just HOLD me?" and then I kicked her out of my bed, and told her to leave, but she lingered for another half hour.

Make her work for it guys.

And anyone who says they wouldn't want a hand-written confession of what makes a 20 year old babe tick is lying.
 

bigneil

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Now that I think about it, the hottest girl I ever dated (1993 - 1998) said practically the same thing as the stripper:

"Guys are stupid." she said. "If they would just not try anything, then we would want them to."

A few of you were correct in noting that this is how extremely hot women (i.e., those with 100 options) act.
 

AlexDP

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The stripper isn't even remotely hot, neil.

I am glad you have finally admitted that you are in love with her. Your "love" is of course nothing more than a narcissist trying to control a borderline woman and failing, but hey, it's as good as it's ever going to get for you.

Look, neil, this is going to end badly. I have given up all hope of ever getting through to you, so I'm going to sit back and watch the show. But I am willing to bet that between this and a year, you will have lost EVERYTHING you have ever built up, unless you get over this woman. She's a borderline, you're a narcissist. The narcissist loses, it's set in stone, dude, give up.

And don't try go give dating advice to people who do not have personality disorders. Given your disorder you gravitate towards others with disorders. It's not the same for us normal people.

EDIT: if you really want this girl to fall for you hard, dump her fast and without reason. Be particularly cruel about it. She'll love you. Then she'll destroy you.
 

LuisGarcia10

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When it comes to romantic feelings;

WOMEN DO NOT kNOW WHAT THEY WANT

I cannot stress the above enough.

If it were as simple as asking a girl what she wants from a man and acting accordingly then we'd all be dating models and we'd all pretending to be some f*cking Disney character, because that's all girls grow up telling themselves they want.

The truth is in order to get a girl, and I mean a good girl, a gorgeous, hot, sexy, unpredictable girl, you have to be different, take her by surprise and give her something she's never seen before and doesn't want to lose.

You're competing against her 150 million Facebook male friends.

Seriously, girls just 'feel it' for some guys and not for others. And 99% of the time, they can't put it into words what it takes to be that guy.

Good body, good career, funny and a likeable personality and you'll do good, the rest is down to meeting the right girls at the right time.
 

SamTheHobit

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Another thread of over thinking. Do what the fxxk you want.
 
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