Why females handle breakups better than males

[cordoncordon]

I have noticed this throughout my entire life, and I have always wondered why, and I believe I have finally come to some answers. What I have always found interesting, and this is true of almost every male friend of mine, and every male family member, but I find it interesting that more times than not, it is usually the female who breaks up with the male, and it is almost ALWAYS the male who goes into a deep sense of depression for months to even years after a break up, while the female usually just goes on her merry way like all is well.

I really think this is because of two reasons. One, a female, no matter how ugly, can usually find a date or a mate in a day if they want to. I mean there is no shortage or males out there trying to get with them. And two, imo a male, no matter how miserable he is, will have a very hard time ever breaking up with a female. He would rather stay with her and be miserable, or cheat and stay with her, than break up. I really think this has to do with evolution and the fact that the male species of almost every animal has a "herding" instinct. That is to get as many females as possible, to breed with them, and he will often fight to the death to keep her from mating with another male.

I also might add another reason, many females I have talked to about this say it takes A LOT for them to break up with their mate, but once they make that decision to do so, they are very good at sticking to that decision and moving on. It's like they finally hit a point where they have had enough, and no matter what the male does from then on, her decision is final. Males tend to waffle a lot more when it comes to this and be more willing to take her back..again the herding instinct.

 

[Strelok]

They also have a better network of friends giving support,most of the guys leave their friends to make her happy.
Anyway he/she who leave usually suffer less or none cause it was him/her to take the decision and is not suffering any ego hit.

 

[synergy1]

my observations agree with what both of you have said. My ex's support structure was pretty solid and once I was out, all those orbiters started vieing for attention. Such attention certainly doesn't hurt the ego and probably helps you cope. As I said before, a women could literally walk out on the street with a blindfold and have a new boyfriend bring her back to her place if she so desired.

Interesting way to put the mans perspective. Men want the option to remain versatile, but still remain possessive of the girls they have been with.

 

[Da Realist]

Honestly when a guy worries about a woman leaving, he hasn't been pushed far enough in his life. When everything really broke for me, I had already lost enough and everything that happened basically lit a fire under my ass. I even gave a final ultimatum, not hoping to keep her but basically as a take or leave it thing because the line had been drawn. She still doesn't get I'm gone.

The reason why I had hurt when we broke up before was because I lost my own identity in a way. I hoped to build some kind of grand life with her as my partner, but it all fell down or so I thought. The thing is that instead of desiring to make things work for someone else, I had to realize I want it for myself because I want to go after as much as I can before the book closes on my life.

To do it though I had to be man enough to face whatever came and, most importantly, get mad. Everyone tells you to control your anger but most men stifle it instead of controlling it. For the past spring and summer I've been pushing myself physically and what was originally anger turned to determination that I won't life push me down.

But enough of my story. Maybe it doesn't answer why, but it's because men seek answers instead of support. When we can get things done to a binary decision, it's basically done. Women on the other hand never feel one hundred percent on stuff and have to have feelings to back it up, hence the reliance on external support.

 

[TIC]

This is all governed by the sexual marketplace. P*ssy has about 10X the value as p*nis.

That's why even average to ugly girls always have a plethora of options and available men. (most of who look much better than she does)

Most guys never experience this. Imagine knowing that at any moment, no matter if your in a relationship or not, you can get a date or have someone there waiting for you with attention, time, sex, and money(multiple someones)

This is how it is for mostly all women. So its no surprise that they don't sweat breakups too much. They can get another bf at any time, hell, she probably has 3 new options in that same week she dumps the guy alone.

Its a crazy time to be living in, I'm young but from what I've heard, its never been like this before in the past.

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

This is all governed by the sexual marketplace. P*ssy has about 10X the value as p*nis.

That's why even average to ugly girls always have a plethora of options and available men. (most of who look much better than she does)

Most guys never experience this. Imagine knowing that at any moment, no matter if your in a relationship or not, you can get a date or have someone there waiting for you with attention, time, sex, and money(multiple someones)

This is how it is for mostly all women. So its no surprise that they don't sweat breakups too much. They can get another bf at any time, hell, she probably has 3 new options in that same week she dumps the guy alone.

Its a crazy time to be living in, I'm young but from what I've heard, its never been like this before in the past.

This is so true^

My girlfriend would immediately have 5 options if we broke up. I would have 0.

A week after the breakup she would have 20 options, I would have maybe 5.

Its constantly an uphill battle to show higher value to women..

 

[cordoncordon]

This is so true^

My girlfriend would immediately have 5 options if we broke up. I would have 0.

A week after the breakup she would have 20 options, I would have maybe 5.

Its constantly an uphill battle to show higher value to women..

Yep gotta agree. I have always used this analogy when talking to women. If you are an average to hot girl, you could walk into any a bar and approach 100 men and say "Hi, my name is Kalie, I want to sleep with you, so lets go". And 97% of the men would say "game on!". If a man did that to a woman at a bar? Unless you were a ten or a well known celebrity, your % MAY BE 1-2% or so, and maybe 10-15% for the celebrity. It really is night and day comparing the males and females.

 

[Scars]

This is so true^

My girlfriend would immediately have 5 options if we broke up. I would have 0.

A week after the breakup she would have 20 options, I would have maybe 5.

Its constantly an uphill battle to show higher value to women..

She may have the OPTION but it doesn't mean she will act on it. There will always be 20+ guys willing to fvck any random girl, and maybe they could. But how many of those 20 are beta male providor types? How many of those would get jealous after 2 months into the relationship because she danced or hugged a friend? How many would get friendzoned? And how many are simply not her type at all, and were simply used for revenge on YOU (the ex).

A high status male has so much more value than a woman.

These are the men woman never stop loving. The guy who has extreme value and will never commit to her.

I'd honestly say there's only about 1/100 men that woman actually WANT to date, and actually love it. They only settle for the best they can get until something better comes a long.

When you are a high status male you never have to worry about this. You actually have more options than her, and she knows it too.

 

[TIC]

She may have the OPTION but it doesn't mean she will act on it.
QUOTE]
Well, that doesn't change the advantage. They don't even need to act on it in order to gain benefits. Just having the knowledge and security that you have options is constantly validating and can do wonders for one's confidence. It will completely change how a person behaves and how they view themselves. That's the advantage most women have. Obviously they don't take every guy up on his offer.

Basically, women are default masters of Plate theory. They have high social iq's because girls usually do, plus, they get plates spinning automatically without any effort.

 

[Speculator E]

....and it is almost ALWAYS the male who goes into a deep sense of depression for months to even years after a break up, while the female usually just goes on her merry way like all is well.

It's because men based their sense of self-worth on their gf/wife. Much like the same way they based it on their career/job. This is why they fall into depression when they lose either one.

 

[Scars]

She may have the OPTION but it doesn't mean she will act on it.
QUOTE]
Well, that doesn't change the advantage. They don't even need to act on it in order to gain benefits. Just having the knowledge and security that you have options is constantly validating and can do wonders for one's confidence. It will completely change how a person behaves and how they view themselves. That's the advantage most women have. Obviously they don't take every guy up on his offer.

Basically, women are default masters of Plate theory. They have high social iq's because girls usually do, plus, they get plates spinning automatically without any effort.

They get validation from these men, but it is only temporary. A woman gets so much more and longer lasting validation if she is getting the attention she wants from a high status male.

Most of the time she is only spinning plates just to get you jealous. I think if men remembered this they would actually take break-ups a lot easier.

It's the men that get depressed because they suddenly NEED the validation to feel wanted. This is a quality of a woman.

High status males get attention and validation constantly, except they don't ask for it like AW.

Be this and you can walk away from any relationship with your dignity in tact. Not only will SHE respect you for it but so will everyone else.

What's better. Disregarding the gender roles for a minute..

20 annoying fat ugly orbiters around you.

Or 2 weeks later finding a hott, well natured, grown up woman that has their sh!t together worthy of your time?

Woman would much rather go for the later. Finding good men is hard. They know this. That's why HSM have more options than woman and can take break ups a lot easier than the average man. They just keep finding better and better.

 

[HeyPachuco!]

So what about when a baby or kids are involved.

I'd say males 9 times out of 10 have the upper hand dealing with a break up and the female is left with the agonising thought of single motherhood. Its astounding though, how females can reorganize and find themselves in aanother relationship so quickly after a break-up. I remember seeing the signs with my ex and I kept pushing her away, she finally said "If you keep pushing me away, one day I'm going to fall over the edge". I thought she was just trying to trick scare me out, fastforward 4 months after she said that, we were talking about having a break and I was putting her stuff in the porch.

Fastforward, 2 months AFTER that, she was pregnant for some other guy. Much less just, in a relationship.

 

[AAAgent]

I think its mainly about having a well balanced life. A lot of males get sucked into AFC'ness when in a relationship. I know a lot of people, including myself at one point that made their girl the center of focus. Virtually ex-communicated everyone and was never seen or heard from. They eventually become dependent on the woman. If a girl is the only part of your life and you lose her, then you lose everything in that sense.

By maintaining a well balanced lifestyle, you can juggle all your problems accordingly. Instead of giving her 90% of your focus you giver her 25%. Giver 25% to your own personal goals, 25% to socializing, 25% whatever, and when you do lose a female its only becomes a minimized loss that is alot easier to patch up.

Its like stitching up a small rip in your pants that would take 30 minutes or basically knitting together a new pair of pants that could take hours, days, or weeks.

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

They get validation from these men, but it is only temporary.

Yes

My most recent ex begged me back after dating a new guy for almost a year, said she was just using him to get over me.

A girl is lieing to herself if she thinks she can just pick one of her many options and have a better man that you were.

So this is leaving me to conclude,
girl leaves an AFC=no big deal for her
girl leaves DJ=she ends up regretting it

 

[5string]

This is so simple. Women can break up with a guy easier because they have so many more options. Anytime, they can get a guy to service her and don't have to work for it, whereas guys do. Ahhh, the power of the poon, their primary weapon.

 

[Plinco]

What you folks are talking about is especially the case if you think women > men. Women do have the bigger egos and deep down have less self control than a Don Juan has.

If you are a high value male, and don't care or decide to dump your girlfriend, what you folks are talking about is not so much the case. And if you start seeing another girl right after you broke up, she will go bazerk more than if it were the other way around.

 

[Strelok]

What about a 50yrs old woman? does she handle it better than a same age man?
I don't think so,she lost the only thing that men want from her and she is gonna be depressed and alchoolic just like the worst afc.

 

[Trader]

Yep gotta agree. I have always used this analogy when talking to women. If you are an average to hot girl, you could walk into any a bar and approach 100 men and say "Hi, my name is Kalie, I want to sleep with you, so lets go". And 97% of the men would say "game on!". If a man did that to a woman at a bar? Unless you were a ten or a well known celebrity, your % MAY BE 1-2% or so, and maybe 10-15% for the celebrity. It really is night and day comparing the males and females.

Your analogy is broken

Your goal is to get one night stands, girls don't make 1 night stands as their goal

 

[cordoncordon]

Your analogy is broken

Your goal is to get one night stands, girls don't make 1 night stands as their goal

Your statement is broken. I realize you will disagree with me no matter what I say due to your stock issues with me, so therefore you are disqualified imo from even commenting here.

I was not making the point how easy it is to have a ONS for a woman, though it is easy. I was making the point that a woman could probably score a higher than 95% rate with something SO OUTLANDISH as to SLEEP with someone they don't know, no questions asked, just walking up to a complete stranger....so how easy would it be for her to get a plethora of guys to take her for something so simple and basic as dinner, or for drinks, or to a movie???? Endless supply.

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

girls don't make 1 night stands as their goal

Maybe true 20 years ago but many girls of this century do make that their goal...