Why does she...?

[Aspiring1]

I was dating a girl for a month or so. Kinda wierd; we went on a couple really long dates (w/sex), got coffee a few other time, and barely talked in the meantime. Short synopsis, she flaked twice between date numbers 1 and 2 but rescheduled herself, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. We are both really busy due to school and she also works. After date 2 she flaked one or two times and spoke to me a bit disrespectfully once (apologizing via text an hour after). I was tired of the flaking and I quit calling, following the advice of the board.

She texted a week and a half after I quit calling, something like, "What are you up to, stranger?" which I truthfully replied to that I was meeting some friends for drinks. She didn't respond, which I thought meant she was probably pissed. I kinda felt bad for her, so I texted her the next day saying, "Its a beautiful day outside! What are you up to?" She responded with the single word, "yep." I figured that was the end of it, but she texted again a few days later and we had a short, meaningless conversation, but no invites.

Here is what I don't get. After no contact at all for three weeks, I get what seems to be a mass text invite to go to a bar, saying "everyone is invited." This was about a week ago. Tonight, I got a similar message inviting me to a party of some sort. She didn't invite me to any group stuff while we were dating. What is her goal in this? Is she actually trying to hang out with me, but doesn't want to lose face by inviting me directly? Is she trying to show off by casually inviting me to things as if nothing happened and pointing out the fun things she is doing? This is confusing me. I generally don't like to be impolite, but should I just ignore these invites? Casually respond, but don't go? We hang out in the same places and I'll probably eventually run into her as a natural matter of course.

Disclosure: I haven't been spinning plates since I am too busy with finals (last three weeks of grad school). Went a little AFC while dating her, but not horrible. Done a few approaches since and might have a couple possibilities. I'm at home on a Saturday night because I have to finish a really important paper by tomorrow afternoon. Probably go somewhere tomorrow night.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

The real question is why are you even interested in this girl still?

Repeatedly flakes, started speaking to your disrespectfully and your still considering try to get her??

This IS what happens when you don't have options, you have tunnel vision for a low quality girl.

As far as her intention with the mass text its tough to say. But in any case I wouldn't go to those events. If she is trying to plant seeds of wonder in your head, do the same thing back by not showing up and not contacting her. If she has ANY interest in you at all, she will contact you again.

If and when she does, cut to the chase and set up a time to hang out. Her answer will be THE ANSWER to your situation.







PIMP

 

[Aspiring1]

Yep, I can't wait for school to be out so I can get back into it. Definitely have some tunnel vision going on. No money, no time, and living with parents makes it pretty tough to spin plates. But, it should all be worth it in three weeks when I am presented with a fairly marketable graduate degree. Well, once i get a job it should be worth it at least.

 

[handle]

Are these large gatherings where you can hang out with and meet new people? I would ignore the pretense and just go and treat it like any other social event... And if it turns out it's an excuse for her to talk to you then roll with it. Maybe it's hard for you to just relax if you're thinking about her intentions, I guess in that case maybe stay home.

Also, this situation reminds me of a couple times when girls basically didn't want to invite me to chill with them one on one, but did want to make sure I was there getting drunk with them so we could end up having sex.

 

[Aspiring1]

I don't really know anything about them, except that she said "everyone is invited." The first was at a small bar, so if I went I would have been sitting at a table with her and a few friends. The one today, I really don't know anything about it. I can't go due to homework, anyway, so I am really just curious about her intentions and what the best response would be. Pimp probably has it right that I should just ignore the invites and see if she hits me up directly. Otherwise, go on about my life. I had good reason to stop calling her and unless I'm pretty sure she wants to hook up I'll probably do better staying away.