Why does she turn down sex?

[andreihaha]

If it’s a FWB b, then there is a lost of attraction. Sometimes the sexual tension between friends itself is exciting. Until it is no longer exciting. Like an itch you had to scratch. But then the excitement wanes and there’s no connection so you go back to friends status.

In a relationship, most women suffer from Superman syndrome. They project their idealism onto the men they date. Basically she’s not in a relationship with you, but her image of you. Her PERFECT image of you. Most women are unrealistic and delusional when it comes to romance. They live in a disney fantasy.

What happens when the relationship unfolds is she’s going to discover the real you. And she’s going to realize that you aren’t the “man she thought you was.” How many times have we heard that from women as a reason to break up?

In fact every little thing you do will annoy her. Your once charming idiosyncrasies will be seen as bad habits to her. The very thought of having sex with you repulses her.

The key to avoiding all this is to never try to live up women’s arbitrary qualifications. You have to show her that you don’t need to meet anyone’s expectations.

And when she starts projecting qualities to you that have nothing to do with you, reject her compliments. It’s not genuine. It’s a product of her own delusions.

What happens when she thinks you are funny as hell and you try to live up to it? You’re going to be exhausted trying to meet her expectations.

Enjoying women’s praise too much is an ego death trap. They will always find that one thing that you failed to live up to and use it to reject you and rationalize to themselves “He wasn’t the man I thought he was. He’s a dog lover and I hate dogs.”

It sounds funny but this is how a woman’s mind operates. They are delusional when it comes to romance. That’s why you gotta knock Superman off his pedestal and paint a realistic light about yourself.

If women start praising you and you know it’s coming from delusional projections, just politely turn away her praise. And if she keeps being delusional, then dismiss her. It’s obvious she’s fallen for her image of you and not the actual you.

If you do the opposite - it you try to live up to her projections, you are going to ruin your own self esteem. Which of course will cause more “no’s” to happen. It will be a downward spiral.

My diagnosis: The first two women projected an image of you and you tried to live up to it. Eventually you got disqualified because it is women’s nature to find that one qualification you failed to live up to. If you fall into their frame, this is inevitable.

The third woman you developed a stronger frame and realized you don’t need to meet anyone’s qualifications. You likely came off as self validated. And the relationship started off in YOUR frame and not hers.

She is genuinely interested in you and not a projection of you. You got better in choosing the right women who really like you.

One of the best things I've found on the site. Kinda opened my eyes on the matter. Cheers!

 

[Mike32ct]

When they chose you as beta bucks and there was never authentic attraction there

Absolutely. In that scenario, it’s actually over BEFORE it starts. Women like that have their single fun with Chads and Chadlites first. Then they actually view marriage (with beta bux) as a soft RETIREMENT from sex.

The soon to be married beta bux guy thinks his sex “career” with her is beginning right as she is getting ready to “hang up her hat” so to speak.

 

[Aspire]

Lie of the century...you fell for it.
Let me ask you what good is a women to you if she is not
A sex
B cooking?
C LAUNDRY?
D pouring you a drink?

Dont you do all the things she requires of you??

The last two I would rather do myself ( I don’t understand why so many people think laundry is a chore. You put your clothes and the detergent in the machine, push a button and move on with life). I am just now learning to cook out of necessity because I was recently diagnosed with prediabetes. Make of that what you will.

 

[xplt]

She doesn't fear losing you. End of story

Can be simple as that.

Ex took me for granted, the last year with her sex only every 1-2 weeks. I was sick of it (wasn't the only issue). When I started working out and focused on myself she tried to sabotage me in my progress. As she sensed I'm willing to walk away, she wanted to jump on me daily

 

[xplt]

No, but you know the difference in dynamics when you see it. Its the bare minimum to prevent you from dumping them vs often even more than you're in the mood for.

Interestingly enough, the latter is sometimes also driven heavily by what they believe the must do to keep you happy.

Just enough that you don't stave vs. all over you.

The first one often is only obligatory sex. Disgusting, would rather fap.

 

[bat soup]

When I was married, my ex-wife frequently said "no" to sex. It could be due to a variety of reasons, which I am sure most of you have seen or heard. It could include...

"I'm tired"
"On the rag"
"Just went to the gym"
"Stinky"
"They could hear us"
"We could get caught"

Funny story, I worked in baggage handling for an airline for some time, and would sometimes come home late at night. She would say "No, youre dirty. you just got home from work. Go clean up." I would take a shower, come out, and she would be snoring. Any attempt at that point was disturbing her sleep... pathetic Roober... but I digress

Then we divorced, and I dated a woman for a couple months. At first, everything was good. Then the "no" started free flowing, for many of the same excuses as my ex-wife. A new one was she dated some guy, and claimed he raped her, even though she stayed with him several months afterwards. It was then my fault for making her feel like that man did... I ate that crap up... and submitted... sigh...

Fast forward to my current lady, whom I met after finding SS...

We have been together about 3 years, and she has yet to tell me "no". And I will say that I have attempted to get a "no" under many reasonable circumstances. We have had sex in the woods on a hiking trails, no showers for two days, during her monthly cycle, with my boys in the room next door, with my mom cooking dinner in the kitchen down the hall, in my dusty grimy garage, late at night (2am/4am/12am), in every area of the house, near open windows, when I was wasted, balconies, in my yard with goats walking around, camping, tents, public bathrooms, etc. In some instances, there was a bit of a resistance, but always a smile while I pulled her pants off. I won't go into my tactics here, because I think that could warrant a thread of it's own.

However, this concept has been bugging me for a while. What causes a woman in a relationship to say "No" to sex? And is it okay for her to say "no" to sex? IF it is okay, when is it acceptable and why?

NOTE: I am referring to two people in a relationship (LTR or FWB), not random encounters which could qualify as rape.

You did the right thing by divorcing her. She has the right to say no, but you have the right to kick women like that out of your life.

 

[Lookatu]

Unfortunately many men refuse to choose women who are truly into them.

She wasn’t compelled by desire in the first place. Loss of desire can happen...but the man has to really screw up and keep screwed up a LONG time.

But many men trick fvck themselves here. Men want the HB10, the HB9, the 8, whatever. They want that HOT girl so badly that they forget to consider whether or not SHE wants HIM.

Some men manage to convince a woman to wife them up or LTR them based on stuff. On resources. On social status. Whatever. The man wants the HOT girl (irrespective of her real interest level in him)...The woman decides he’s a suitable enough provider and so she settles.

The post is great but I cut out the high points for the cliff notes version.

Guys are always looking for the hottest girl but not really looking at other factors like if they can be a good mother/wife/ltr partner and have other skills like cooking and stuff. I always tell guys if they want a good life with a female, pick one that loves you and desires you more than you love/desire her. Think in terms of 7 range and don't be narrow sighted on only the 8-9 range girls. Looks WILL fade and if that's all they have, what will you have left after 5,10,15 years?

The settling thing for girls is very real as a woman in her 30's has her biological clock ticking and the need to start a family which would most of the time involve getting married makes them compromise on several things that may come around later and bite them in the butt. That's part of why you see all these divorces. I truly feel a lot of these are from women settling with guys to start a family due to their biological clock and figuring out later it won't work or they lost interest/desire for their guy.

As a datapoint, I've been together with my wife for 17 years. She's never refused sex from me and I think her drive maybe actually higher than mine. There has been times when I actually rejected her and took a rain check on sex. As with OP, we've had sex everywhere including right next to the kids after they fell asleep at a double bed hotel on vacation for example.

At an early point in my marriage, I thought I settled because I've certainly been out with hotter women before. But then I realized I got lucky with a complete package that is more conducive to the long term.

Guys, look for well rounded and balanced women for LTR/Marriages and don't get so fixated on the hottest ones.

 

[lamath]

Interestingly enough, the latter is sometimes also driven heavily by what they believe the must do to keep you happy.

Ive experience this to the point that i needed a break.

Ive also experience that when i dont have sex enough with the women im with. She become insecure af and wanted it really bad , its almost like they know this is their only value.

 

[Glassguy]

I agree with @BeExcellent and @Mauser96

As to why a woman's pvssy dries up over time is a change in the man (more than likely). The man was dominant and confident, which led the relationship. He was HER prize. Over time the man got weak, caved in, became lazy, etc. She isnt turned on anymore.

Of course if someone is a beta male, he was probably used as a provider and the woman will begin cheating on him with a man that she actually submits to......but we will proceed as though the man is/was more so alpha in the beginning for argument's sake.

A lot of guys forget that women are controlled by emotion and men controlled by logic. Women want to feel adventurous, relevant, spontaneous and submissive all in one.

When you stop triggering those emotions that make her horny, she loses interest. That result is less sex or withholding sex.

When she sees you as a lower value person over time than she did in the beginning, she lowers her respect for you. That results in withholding sex.

Pick a chick that wants your d ick! Such a chick will love you & please you & submit to your leadership. Relationships become much easier when there is genuine desire on HER part.

This ^^^^^^. This sums it up. Read this about 500 times. I could bend my current gf over in the middle of Walmart and she would probably not resist and be all about it. Its only been 4 months that we have been dating but she cant keep her hands off my dic and wants it all the time. Totally submissive. Every good relationship that I have been in was the same way. Every bad relationship included a woman that was really hard to be submissive.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I agree with @BeExcellent and @Mauser96

As to why a woman's pvssy dries up over time is a change in the man (more than likely). The man was dominant and confident, which led the relationship. He was HER prize. Over time the man got weak, caved in, became lazy, etc. She isnt turned on anymore.

Of course if someone is a beta male, he was probably used as a provider and the woman will begin cheating on him with a man that she actually submits to......but we will proceed as though the man is/was more so alpha in the beginning for argument's sake.

A lot of guys forget that women are controlled by emotion and men controlled by logic. Women want to feel adventurous, relevant, spontaneous and submissive all in one.

When you stop triggering those emotions that make her horny, she loses interest. That result is less sex or withholding sex.

When she sees you as a lower value person over time than she did in the beginning, she lowers her respect for you. That results in withholding sex.


This ^^^^^^. This sums it up. Read this about 500 times. I could bend my current gf over in the middle of Walmart and she would probably not resist and be all about it. Its only been 4 months that we have been dating but she cant keep her hands off my dic and wants it all the time. Totally submissive. Every good relationship that I have been in was the same way. Every bad relationship included a woman that was really hard to be submissive.

Dam. It really is that simple. The same for me. All my good relationship they couldn't get enough. Sex all the time. The bad ones sex is a power struggle.

 

[Young OG]

I have always thought if it as control and a power play. Most women only bring pVssy to the table. They know thats all they have to offer. When they give it up only on there terms, they start to control you and get the power.

When they start to do this, the best thing to do is just walk away. If she won't give up the pVssy then you find a woman that will. That's why its better to not get married or move in with women. It makes it harder to walk away and makes it easier for them to start denying you pVssy.

 

[Lookatu]

^^^ Yes. Rule #534 - Never stay with a woman that uses sex as a bargaining tool or weapon

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I have always thought if it as control and a power play. Most women only bring pVssy to the table. They know thats all they have to offer. When they give it up only on there terms, they start to control you and get the power.

When they start to do this, the best thing to do is just walk away. If she won't give up the pVssy then you find a woman that will. That's why its better to not get married or move in with women. It makes it harder to walk away and makes it easier for them to start denying you pVssy.

Very good. Once it becomes a power play or a control mechanism it's a wrap. Over time they will reduce that amount to get the same amount of control And in time it will be near zero. Plus when someone is insistent upon control or power they aren't going to be treating you that good.

A female whose all into you will have the puzzy flowing, and will be wanting to please you. It will actually energize them to do this, and you will be a happy man.

 

[Glassguy]

When a woman starts withholding sex, its time to bounce. No questions asked, no reasons needed. Just ghost.

I promise one thing- it never will get back to where she is giving it to you willingly and craving it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

When a woman starts withholding sex, its time to bounce. No questions asked, no reasons needed. Just ghost.

I promise one thing- it never will get back to where she is giving it to you willingly and craving it.

They even try that shyt in your plates world? Maybe start reducing your "portion" to a smaller measured quantity and saving the big chunk for someone else.

 

[Glassguy]

They even try that shyt in your plates world? Maybe start reducing your "portion" to a smaller measured quantity and saving the big chunk for someone else.

Some women will use anything and everything as a bargaining tool. Thats why its best to restrict validation and compliments. If you tell her thats the best pvssy youve ever had, I can promise you that she will start using it as a bargaining chip. Along with the scarcity mindset that goes along with a man every saying something like that to a woman.

 

[MatureDJ]

The husband has to put his foot down and say that part of the marriage is regular sex, and if that is a problem with her, then it's time for him to tell her that he will be looking for a mistress. If she says no, then he should just bite the bullet and get a divorce.

 

[MatureDJ]

She could be mad. A feminist explained to me that "not putting out" is a bunch of bull. She reasoned that they cheapened themselves to get validation sex from Alphas who didn't give a shyt about them. They gave sex for favors and hookups. They gave sex to brag to their friends. After all those years sex isn't that big deal to them. It's a bit more than a intimate hug to them. When they keep refusing and they are in a position that "they are supposed to" it means she doesn't like you very much. If you stay in position your stupid.

https://incels.wiki/images/6/6c/Redpillcomics44.jpg

 

[mrgoodstuff]

https://incels.wiki/images/6/6c/Redpillcomics44.jpg

Yep.

 

[Roober]

The post is great but I cut out the high points for the cliff notes version.

Guys are always looking for the hottest girl but not really looking at other factors like if they can be a good mother/wife/ltr partner and have other skills like cooking and stuff. I always tell guys if they want a good life with a female, pick one that loves you and desires you more than you love/desire her. Think in terms of 7 range and don't be narrow sighted on only the 8-9 range girls. Looks WILL fade and if that's all they have, what will you have left after 5,10,15 years?

The settling thing for girls is very real as a woman in her 30's has her biological clock ticking and the need to start a family which would most of the time involve getting married makes them compromise on several things that may come around later and bite them in the butt. That's part of why you see all these divorces. I truly feel a lot of these are from women settling with guys to start a family due to their biological clock and figuring out later it won't work or they lost interest/desire for their guy.

As a datapoint, I've been together with my wife for 17 years. She's never refused sex from me and I think her drive maybe actually higher than mine. There has been times when I actually rejected her and took a rain check on sex. As with OP, we've had sex everywhere including right next to the kids after they fell asleep at a double bed hotel on vacation for example.

At an early point in my marriage, I thought I settled because I've certainly been out with hotter women before. But then I realized I got lucky with a complete package that is more conducive to the long term.

Guys, look for well rounded and balanced women for LTR/Marriages and don't get so fixated on the hottest ones.

Agreed! I know she certainly wants it more than me now... Almost seems the more natural turn of events as men's testosterone levels normalize in their 30s and beyond.