Why Does Man Lie?

[iqqi]

I am going to keep this extremely bare of a question, before I go deeper into what is on my mind. The only structure I want to give to this discussion at this point, is that I mean Man, as in men. I am well aware all people lie, but I'd like to focus on the reason men lie.

Discuss.

 

[Truebrit]

I am going to keep this extremely bare of a question, before I go deeper into what is on my mind. The only structure I want to give to this discussion at this point, is that I mean Man, as in men. I am well aware all people lie, but I'd like to focus on the reason men lie.

Discuss.

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Usual fatuous nonsense ^ ^ ^ ^ ^.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Men lie with the same motivations and directives as women. To either relieve themselves of something they're guilty for, to steer attention away from something they've done or to get a moment's peace from her incessant fvcking whining and finger jabbing.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Woah woah..


what kind of lies are we talking about?


There are degrees of it y'know.

The kind of lie that if you get caught you can smile about it and say "yeah, I F**ked up! "? Lawlz

Or the lie where we just don't plain want to get caught and if we do we apologize BECAUSE we got caught and don't want to lose whatever it is that we'll lose because of that lie.



So what was the lie about, Iqqi?



Edit: Me personally, I try to go back and remember what I've lied about. I really can't think of anything. I've always tried to live with a sense of total honesty because I always feared the universe would always put my lies on a "tab".

Haven't lied about anything major in years.

 

[Allaia]

Or the lie where we just don't plain want to get caught and if we do we apologize BECAUSE we got caught and don't want to lose whatever it is that we'll lose because of that lie.

Must be the lack of sleep or something else but my head was spinning when I read that. I can relate to that part - apologise because we got caught .

 

[ThunderMaverick]

My head was spinning when I wrote it!

I need sleep.

 

[iqqi]

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Usual fatuous nonsense ^ ^ ^ ^ ^.

Haha, as the first post of this thread, are you saying men DON'T lie?

Men lie with the same motivations and directives as women. To either relieve themselves of something they're guilty for, to steer attention away from something they've done or to get a moment's peace from her incessant fvcking whining and finger jabbing.

Interesting answer, however the two lies I am specifically thinking of, don't seem to fall into any of those.

Woah woah..
what kind of lies are we talking about?

There are degrees of it y'know.

The kind of lie that if you get caught you can smile about it and say "yeah, I F**ked up! "? Lawlz

Or the lie where we just don't plain want to get caught and if we do we apologize BECAUSE we got caught and don't want to lose whatever it is that we'll lose because of that lie.

So what was the lie about, Iqqi?

I purposely kept it vague to get a more general answer, and then to get the different answers that might go with the different degrees. I agree, there ARE different degrees. And I am thinking some degrees are connected.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

OH man. A lie on top of a lie.


The kind of lie where you the person only reveals what you SPECIFICALLY ask!


example: Where were you last night?

"Out"

Out where?

"At tony's house" *LIE*

You weren't at tony's house. I called tony and you weren't there.

"I was at another friend's house" TRUTH

Who was it?

"Just a friend" *LIE*

Tell the truth.

"it was a female" *TRUTH*

You f**ed her?

"yeah, I'm sorry. I messed up. It was a 1 time thing. *LIE on top of truth*

No it wasn't because I know the girl.

"oh ****. I f*cked up.*TRUTH* I'm sorry. *LIE*

One of those? Where they have to force you to ask about EVERY DETAIL!?!?


Gaaahh!!!

 

[joekerr31]

everyone lies for the same reasons...

1) they want something but can't get it by simply asking for it, therefore they have to manipulate people in order to get it - this generally entails lying.

2) they have done something others won't think well of and they dont want to get found out, so they lie.

3) they are embarassed by something and dont want others to find out so they lie to avoid it being found out.

4) they have lied so much in their lives that its second nature. being honest is something they have lost the ability to do and they lie simply out of habit. a lot of people lie so much that in their head they've actually created a fictional reality and they lie about stuff they don't have to so that their previous lies seem more real and less like lies - they lie about stuff they dont have to do try and minimize cognitive dissonance (although it doesn't really work, people still think it will).

but on the most basic level people lie because they care about what other people think about them.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

I've lived with habitual liars and I mean...it just never made sense to me. I can understand the REASONS behind it, but at the end of the day you have to look at that liar's face in the mirror.

The really good part of yourself has to be squashed waaay down into yourself to be able to lie to someone with a straight face.

I can't lie to someone without cracking a smile. Even if it's a huge lie.


I do however think lying is easy for someone who is very much self absorbed. They figure "it's my life and I can do whatever I want with it. At the end of the day I'm the only person swimming around in my head".

That much I can understand.

 

[iqqi]

everyone lies for the same reasons...

1) they want something but can't get it by simply asking for it, therefore they have to manipulate people in order to get it - this generally entails lying.

2) they have done something others won't think well of and they dont want to get found out, so they lie.

3) they are embarassed by something and dont want others to find out so they lie to avoid it being found out.

4) they have lied so much in their lives that its second nature. being honest is something they have lost the ability to do and they lie simply out of habit. a lot of people lie so much that in their head they've actually created a fictional reality and they lie about stuff they don't have to so that their previous lies seem more real and less like lies - they lie about stuff they dont have to do try and minimize cognitive dissonance (although it doesn't really work, people still think it will).

but on the most basic level people lie because they care about what other people think about them.

This summary does kind of cover what I am thinking of.

Also... are you a liar? What kind would you consider yourself to be? This question is for everyone, TM already answered it for himself.

 

[iqqi]

I've lived with habitual liars and I mean...it just never made sense to me. I can understand the REASONS behind it, but at the end of the day you have to look at that liar's face in the mirror.

The really good part of yourself has to be squashed waaay down into yourself to be able to lie to someone with a straight face.

I can't lie to someone without cracking a smile. Even if it's a huge lie.


I do however think lying is easy for someone who is very much self absorbed. They figure "it's my life and I can do whatever I want with it. At the end of the day I'm the only person swimming around in my head".

That much I can understand.

Interesting.

I too have a hard time understanding the habitual liar. Especially one who lies about (what I would think was) unnecessary things to lie about.

And to start answering a few questions you may all have, I am thinking about a specific liar. Not the first kind you described, TM, with your lie on top of a lie spiel, but one who just lies period it seems. I am trying to get to the bottom of it, if it something personal, or deeper in human nature. SO the question starts with a specific, but then it kind of grew to more in general.

 

[Nighthawk]

Expedience or manipulation.

 

[iqqi]

1) they want something but can't get it by simply asking for it, therefore they have to manipulate people in order to get it - this generally entails lying.

This is the kind of lie men are specifically famous for... lying to get into the pants!

But NO NO NO, I am not saying that to get man-bashy, it really is what all fathers teach their daughters, and if anyone could try to really think about that and speak on it, I am really interested in your thoughts.

 

[iqqi]

Expedience or manipulation.

Stick around.

 

[joekerr31]

This summary does kind of cover what I am thinking of.

Also... are you a liar? What kind would you consider yourself to be? This question is for everyone, TM already answered it for himself.

i almost never lie. but i do lie sometimes.

like i might call in sick to work, when really i need the day off to get personal stuff done that i cant get done otherwise.

or i might agree with my boss when in reality i think they are making a huge mistake - but i dont feel like having an argument just to get them to do the right thing (and they will only be p*ssed off that they were wrong anyway, so i gain nothing).

so i guess im a liar, but at the same time my word is gold. if i say im going to do something, or if someone places their trust in me, im 100% reliable.

 

[iqqi]

i almost never lie. but i do lie sometimes.

like i might call in sick to work, when really i need the day off to get personal stuff done that i cant get done otherwise.

or i might agree with my boss when in reality i think they are making a huge mistake - but i dont feel like having an argument just to get them to do the right thing (and they will only be p*ssed off that they were wrong anyway, so i gain nothing).

so i guess im a liar, but at the same time my word is gold. if i say im going to do something, or if someone places their trust in me, im 100% reliable.

What wouldn't you lie about?

 

[joekerr31]

its important to distinguish between good and bad lying.

its all relevant to the level of trust that has been established. if someone has proven themselves trust worthy over and over and over, and then tells a white lie because they are trying to spare your feelings, or are embarassed, etc. - thats no big deal.

but someone that hasn't proven themselves trust worthy, or who lies regularly, the lying becomes more of an issue.

 

[joekerr31]

What wouldn't you lie about?

most things.

i think too little of most people to actually care what they think of me - hence no need to lie

 

[iqqi]

most things.

i think too little of most people to actually care what they think of me - hence no need to lie

Interesting! Because I care what people think of me... I don't lie! It is a reflection of character, in my eyes.