Why does John own two houses while the rest of us are still trying?

[Pumax]

Hi everyone!

For those of you who had the chance to study, graduate, and build a career through many different experiences, there often comes a point. around the age of 30–35, when you can finally afford to think about buying a home with a mortgage. At that stage, your job might cover about one third of the monthly payment, and by the end of the month you manage to save maybe 10–20% of your salary. We’re talking about someone who worked late nights, made sacrifices, and built a career..

Now let’s talk about John.
He is your average friend. In school he barely got by, mostly sixes, some remedial classes, sometimes he showed up, sometimes he didn’t. While you were starting your long career path, at 18 John was already helping out at his uncle’s or father’s company.
At 22, something strange happens: he suddenly wakes up early, around 9:30 every morning, and even manages to be on time at work. There, he starts “assigning tasks,” “managing a few things,” or, for the less lucky ones, actually working, inside this business
Fast forward John is 30–35.
He owns two houses, both bought in cash, one he lives in, the other he rents out. He’s married, has two kids, and manages to save around 40% of his income

What I’m trying to say is this: hard work and discipline alone are not enough for those who want to become financially independent, find their place... some people are born into systems that are already running, with 10% of the effort that someone starting from zero has to put in, they’re already far ahead.

So the real question is:
What are we missing, those of us who work so hard, when it comes to building, replicating, and making these systems work for us? Why don’t we do it? What are we afraid of?
Is it really just about copying the habits of those people?

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

You're really onto something. This is one of those questions often asked by those who in my opinion are seriously after something more than most are. Sometimes these questions stop coming to you, you get distracted, or you listen to someone's advice and take it too readily and autopilot yourself back into mediocrity. I'm not trying to speak from a soap box as in many ways I've had to "fail up" and I'm not anywhere spectacular in life. I do consider myself to be living a life most perhaps wish they could, but It's never my intent to be preachy.

In my 20s (coincidentally I'm a John as well; aren't speaking of me? lol) I never stopped talking about what I wanted to happen in my life and people 30+ years my senior shook their heads and dismissed it as "The ambitions of youth." I have never seen the likes of those words as words of wisdom. Those are words of lamentation for what they didn't do. Whether they decided to or not. I had a house and mortgage at 23. I had to go to Iraq and not spend a penny, not blow my deployment earnings on a Mustang GT, and of course, the housing crash of 08. Luck favored me a bit as well.

I'm in the process of building back up to that. My own dume-auss decided to have two bad marriages and my job relocated. Probably the best thing that happened to me. I moved into the only apartment I lived in in my life. Just now recently after 6 years moved into a rickety house and ride motorcycles now. I plan to get some land and construct a barndominium Quonset hut and start a farm. I've done several things over the course of my life with varying degrees of difficulty. Often without close mentorship or help, but make no mistake, I've always asked around for advice from others who were past my successes and then made my own decisions.

I highly encourage three books. "Mentor: The kid and the CEO," "The E-Myth Revisited," and of course "Think and Grow Rich." What I've learned so far about doing 'better' than others is a mixture of hard work (the WILLINGNESS to do hard work is more important than working hard for sake of saying how hard you work. A pointless brag in my opinion.), sacrificing wild experiences or use of substances, keeping in shape and always training your brain.

I'm not so sure if someone coined the phrase before me, but my phrase related to this is "If hard work was all it took to be successful, slaves would be the richest of us all." --- "Nothing can be made except by makers, nothing can be managed except by managers. Money cannot make anything and money cannot manage anything". He also said, "You can take my factories, burn up my buildings, but give me my people and I'll build my business right back again". -Henry Ford

**EDIT**To be fair, I also didn't listen to the advice that came from people who got a BA, BS or Masters and wound up spending more time losing their hair and hunting for jobs. It was REALLY bad in the early to late aughts even for STEM grads! Thankfully that's on the uptick. Even still, many employers are revolving doors as an unfortunate trend for getting a decent raise means switching companies. I wouldn't say adopting their habits as much as trying to create the environment that allowed them to thrive. "The E-Myth Revisited" is perhaps the best book I've ever found on the topic of 'doing things differently' and I think anyone and everyone should read it.

I think Ol' Henry Ford would have hated that book. Fewer people would have stuck around working in his factories. I don't own 2 houses. Probably will in the future though.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

What are we missing, those of us who work so hard, when it comes to building, replicating, and making these systems work for us? Why don’t we do it? What are we afraid of?
Is it really just about copying the habits of those people?

Nobody's going to like this answer.

But the vast majority of success and failure is down to things that are just not in our control.

Replicating success seems pretty simple on the surface, but there will always be more unknown variables than any known variables.

But as far as buying a nice house in a nice neighborhood, if this is your only goal from your first job moving forward, it can happen, but it's not guaranteed. And it will come at the expense of other things.

Life is far more complex and dependent on chance than most would like to admit.

 

[MatureDJ]

The power of having some family money is vastly underrated.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Nobody's going to like this answer.

But the vast majority of success and failure is down to things that are just not in our control.

Replicating success seems pretty simple on the surface, but there will always be more unknown variables than any known variables.

But as far as buying a nice house in a nice ere. neighborhood, if this is your only goal from your first job moving forward, it can happen, but it's not guaranteed. And it will come at the expense of other things.

Life is far more complex and dependent on chance than most would like to admit.

People don't like it because of it conflicts with their belief in the just world hypothesis. There are many people out there in the world who geniunely believe that we "get what we deserve". That child who died of cancer surely did something to deserve it, you on the other hand? You became a millionare because God personally recognized how special you are and how you deserved the best the world has to offer.

The people who become highly successful almost always seem to claim it was exclusively because of their "hard work" while conveniently leaving out the part where their family gave them an interest free loan to start their business, or had the social connections and influence to get them in the know with the right people. They also fail to acknowlege the plethora of people who did exactly what they did, worked just as hard (if not harder) and got nowhere.

Surely though, there indeed people who are 100% self made. If we leave out the influence of your parents/upbringing on life success, there is something else going on. Luck. Even if luck is only 5% of it, that 5% determines why 10,000 people can do the same thing and only 1 of them succeeds.

The fact of the matter is the world and even reality itself does not work if everyone and everything can be exceptional. If you examine that for even a second, it should be pretty obvious. I mean, if everyone was exceptional than no one would be. The Pareto Principle explains this. This doesn't appear to simply be a result of "social inequity" caused by capitalism...no, this appears to be a law of nature in a sense, it even applies at the scale of star and galaxy formation.

That said, the current system we have is in fact making the natural imbalance even more imbalanced than it would be normally, so that those with more will get even more, and those with less will get even less. The takeaway here isn't to throw it all out and say the system is rigged, the world isn't fair, therefore I shouldn't try...but to recognize that the world does not care about you or your hard work, nor does it care about your "values" and "ethics". So, if you want to succeed, then don't play by the rules. Also, it helps to recognize that those at the top are not fixed there, but in a constant flux, and if you play the game right you might have a chance to take their place when someone else falls.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Nobody's going to like this answer.

But the vast majority of success and failure is down to things that are just not in our control.

Replicating success seems pretty simple on the surface, but there will always be more unknown variables than any known variables.

But as far as buying a nice house in a nice neighborhood, if this is your only goal from your first job moving forward, it can happen, but it's not guaranteed. And it will come at the expense of other things.

Life is far more complex and dependent on chance than most would like to admit.

What is almost universal of people who have succeeded wildly is that it wasn't because they didn't fail at first...most failed many times. What was true is that failure never stopped them and that is what led to them succeeding.

So the difference is in the mindset between the people who succeed and the ones who don't first and foremost.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

So the difference is in the mindset between the people who succeed and the ones who don't first and foremost.

That's only half the story. We only know about people who never gave up and eventually succeeded.

But a lot of people never give up but never really become much of anything.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That's only half the story. We only know about people who never gave up and eventually succeeded.

But a lot of people never give up but never really become much of anything.

I mean sure, but that would be like saying I might as well just stay obese because there are people who exercise and workout who don't lose weight.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I mean sure, but that would be like saying I might as well just stay obese because there are people who exercise and workout who don't lose weight.

Sure, giving up is foolish. Our only choice is to keep trying. However I think they key takeway here is subtle. People have this belief that if anyone can do it, everyone can do it. That's not how it works. Some people may do everything right, only to fail again and again and never succeed. Now, this isn't to say that such people would be better off not trying; in fact the repeated failures may force them acknowledge the reality of their situation and take a different path in life.

Also on your earlier point about repeated failures is very true, but there's more to consider. Some people have more of a safety net that enables them to fail many more times than others and bounce back. Someone born into abject poverty may only have 1 chance and if they blow it, they might be screwed. Though it depends what we're talking about - this doesn't apply to many things such as learning a skill or getting fit, which you basically have infinite chances to keep trying.

Point being, sometimes life is unrelentingly harsh and some people get the short end of the stick. It's really that simple. Simply acknowledging this instead of pretending otherwise would be a huge first step if people want to start talking honestly about this.

It is not necessarily a moral shortcoming / character flaw if someone does not live up to an imagined potential. Many people seem to think if you play by rules and follow status quo, it is inevitable you will come out on top. Couldn't be further from the truth.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I mean sure, but that would be like saying I might as well just stay obese because there are people who exercise and workout who don't lose weight.

I wasn't making any recommendations. Just describing the way thing are.

Descriptive, not prescriptive.

Both these statements are true:

1) People who are successful are successful because they never give up.

2) People who never give up are not guaranteed success

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I wasn't making any recommendations. Just describing the way thing are.

Descriptive, not prescriptive.

Both these statements are true:

1) People who are successful are successful because they never give up.

2) People who never give up are not guaranteed success

Nothing is ever guaranteed. But I will also suggest many of the people who claim to have done "everything they could" and "gave it their all" are only kidding themselves.

What they really mean is they did what they could up until the point they would have been forced outside their comfort zone and then they gave up.

In the vast majority of these cases, it's nearly impossible to truly succeed unless you are willing to become comfortable with being uncomfortable on a regular basis, and the truth is most people in life are not. Not only in terms of business but in all areas of their life.

They expect success to simply come to them on their terms, but that's not how it works. Success has its own terms and you have to decide whether you are willing to meet them or not. Period. You don't get to dictate the terms of how hard you should work before success magically appears.

Attempting to justify it by saying "I did everything I could and worked as hard as I can" but ignoring how their refusal to go outside their comfort zone played a large role in that is not only disingenuous, it shows a clear lack of understanding what it actually takes to achieve success.