why does being a nice guy never work on the ladies?

[kevin zz]

i'm a jerk btw

 

[:-)]

Because it's manipulative and disingenuous. Like salespeople or High street charity chuggers their niceness doesn't fool anybody.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

Because we all hate people who are too nice.Its smells with a trap.Dont you remember momy always told you not to take candy from old men ?

 

[Mike32ct]

Has nothing to do with nice or not. It's 95 percent looks. It just so happens that less attractive guys are often nicer to compensate.

Plus women don't want to sound as shallow as they are, so they tell the less attractive guy that he is too nice lol.

 

[:-)]

Has nothing to do with nice or not. It's 95 percent looks. It just so happens that less attractive guys are often nicer to compensate.

Plus women don't want to sound as shallow as they are, so they tell the less attractive guy that he is too nice lol.

That's not true. I had a much better looking friend than me who was also 6'2 but was a quintessential nice guy. How many times I heard how good looking girls thought he was only to be let down by his niceness. I have never had a girl tell me I was a nice guy, because I'm not. I'm extremely bitter and jaded and the girls seem to love it. I think they think I'm joking when in reality I'm not.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

Nice is boring, because if woman feels you agree easily and are easy to manipulate there is no challenge and no passion.Nice guy is flat, one dimensional character.He is Mr NothingHappens

 

[Mike32ct]

That's not true. I had a much better looking friend than me who was also 6'2 but was a quintessential nice guy. How many times I heard how good looking girls thought he was only to be let down by his niceness. I have never had a girl tell me I was a nice guy, because I'm not. I'm extremely bitter and jaded and the girls seem to love it. I think they think I'm joking when in reality I'm not.

I see what you are saying, but maybe your friend wasn't aggressive enough. In other words, he clearly had women attracted to him, but he didn't "pull the trigger" and ask them out or try to F them (soon enough). Looks are great, but women will still give up on you if you don't make a move in a reasonable amount of time.

I just don't think being nice was his biggest problem. I don't know the guy, but I would guess he wasn't forward enough.

Of course women don't want to be worshipped. But I think they will forgive niceness if he has the looks and makes a move.

Some women do like jerks. I don't dispute that at all. But I think we have to be careful with the jerk vs nice guy thing so newbies don't take it the wrong way. A guy might think "niceness" is his problem when it is really his looks that are lacking. Or maybe he is attractive already, but is branded "too nice" by women because he isn't forward enough. (In other words, the women initially wanted to F him, but have since given up and FZ-ed him because he was too timid/slow.)

 

[Alvafe]

thing is nice guys normally lack initiative and don't like to risk a rejection, so he is there, being "nice", but most of time he is just afraid

 

[Mike32ct]

thing is nice guys normally lack initiative and don't like to risk a rejection, so he is there, being "nice", but most of time he is just afraid

Yeah no doubt. He might not be hot enough for women to approach him, but he might have enough looks to get by if he actually made a move and approached.

Being a pleasant person isn't his problem. Being too afraid is.

 

[zekko]

Because it's manipulative and disingenuous. Like salespeople or High street charity chuggers their niceness doesn't fool anybody.

If they are manipulative and disingenuous, then by definition they are NOT nice. Although you are right that those people fit the supposed "nice guy" personality that PUAs came up with.

If you're stuck on the side of the road, and you need a jump and you call a buddy. The nice guy will come give you a jump, and the jerk will tell you to thumb a ride. Those are the REAL definitions of nice guys and jerks. It's just all been twisted by PUA gurus and the manosphere.

There isn't a single thing wrong with being GENUINELY nice.

I see what you are saying, but maybe your friend wasn't aggressive enough. In other words, he clearly had women attracted to him, but he didn't "pull the trigger" and ask them out or try to F them (soon enough). Looks are great, but women will still give up on you if you don't make a move in a reasonable amount of time.

I just don't think being nice was his biggest problem. I don't know the guy, but I would guess he wasn't forward enough.

Another problem with passive men is that they tend to get too clingy, too fast, too desperate, and too emotional. Women generally take longer to develop "feelings" than men because they usually have more options. It's a big turn off to them if the guy gets attached too quickly because it makes him look undesirable, like he doesn't have any options.

HOWEVER, there is nothing in the word "nice" that has anything to do with being passive, aggressive, needy, or desperate.

Now, I don't pretend to be the nicest guy on the planet. In fact, I'm probably one of the most selfish persons I know. But I try to treat people with a baseline of respect, unless they show they deserve otherwise. And I have never in my life once had to pretend to be a "jerk" in order to attract women.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Because "nice guys" (in the pejorative sense, not self-assured men who happen to be nice) tend to be weak, cowardly, pushovers beneath the veneer of niceness, and not only can women easily pick up on this, but how could they ever respect a guy with those attributes?

I remember RSD Tyler once said in one of his videos that he likes that women punish that sort of behavior (pretty sure he dubbed it "little b1tch behavior" in the vid). Couldn't agree more. They're poorly disguised con artists. There's decorum, and then there's thinking up the 'right answer' to minimize the odds that nobody's toes are stepped on.

 

[DiegoSantori]

I see what you are saying, but maybe your friend wasn't aggressive enough. In other words, he clearly had women attracted to him, but he didn't "pull the trigger" and ask them out or try to F them (soon enough). Looks are great, but women will still give up on you if you don't make a move in a reasonable amount of time.

But if they give up on you just because you didn't make a move, doesn't this mean that they will be happy when you finally make a move after they have given up? I mean, if you want to buy a car, for example, that you thought was affordable but you find out that it's too expensive. Maybe you give up on this car, yes, but what if, one month later, this car suddenly is affordable? Wouldn't you just be happy and finally buy it?

 

[Mike32ct]

But if they give up on you just because you didn't make a move, doesn't this mean that they will be happy when you finally make a move after they have given up? I mean, if you want to buy a car, for example, that you thought was affordable but you find out that it's too expensive. Maybe you give up on this car, yes, but what if, one month later, this car suddenly is affordable? Wouldn't you just be happy and finally buy it?

The answer to the car analogy is yes.

But women don't really work that way. Friend zone is generally irreversible. If you make her wait too long (without you making a move), she will lose respect and a lot of attraction for you. Then if you make a late move on her, at BEST, she might reluctantly go on the date with you, but it will never be the same. Her interest level will be lukewarm at BEST.

You really do have to "strike when the iron's hot."

 

[om1xr]

Nice guy wait for too long to make a move.

But you are a fool or you don't really get laid and don't know sh!t about women if you think jerks get real beautiful women. Like attract like. What you seek seeks you. Period.

Jerks attract hot/attractive broken girls with insecure ego and too much personality issues and fvcked up pasts. I Have many friends who are jerks and that how they all roll. For a naive/inexperienced man it may seems he is always with hot babes and they are hot until they open their mouth and you get to know them. then if you have self respect and value your time you won't spend more time with them unless you are only seeking secs or desperate as fvck just to be with an attractive girl.

Who gets the real beautiful girls with great personalities and true feminine nature are guys who as well has great personalities, good looks (yeah they are attracted to good genes as well ), masculine, make their intentions clear and truly love women.

 

[Tictac]

Because they know it's an act.

Your quid pro quo is obvious.

 

[ChrisFloyd]

The answer to the car analogy is yes.

But women don't really work that way. Friend zone is generally irreversible. If you make her wait too long (without you making a move), she will lose respect and a lot of attraction for you. Then if you make a late move on her, at BEST, she might reluctantly go on the date with you, but it will never be the same. Her interest level will be lukewarm at BEST.

You really do have to "strike when the iron's hot."

Provided that the only thing you have is your looks lol.

 

[KingBeef]

Has nothing to do with nice or not. It's 95 percent looks. It just so happens that less attractive guys are often nicer to compensate.

Plus women don't want to sound as shallow as they are, so they tell the less attractive guy that he is too nice lol.

Exactly.... Tall Pretty boys/real good kicking guys rarely ever get labeled as nice guys, they're just hot and desirable...

 

[scoopshank]

It does work, here's what does (to name just a few):

Being needy
Being too available
Agreeing with everything

Most "nice guys" aren't as nice as they act. Anyone can smell this a mile away when the items listed become apparant.

Being nice is paramount in maximizing plates, IMO. Don't act and be yourself. If yourself is a jackass, fix it, then be yourself

When you get the attitude "Nope, not going to do that/tolerate that. I guess I am not the guy for you. It is better we part ways." she hears "Holy fvck. He is willing to drop me that quick? He won't tolerate my drama and manipulaton? He must be able to get women easily, whenever he wants. I better hang onto this one, he is a hot commodity"

This mentality will have women leaving you faster than ever lol. Been there/done that. Not every women is the same, the ones this works on aare typically needy insecure girls that bring drama. Still smashable tho

 

[Atom Smasher]

Women want men who are a cause, not an effect.

"Nice guys" are reactive and affected by every breeze that blows around them. Well adjusted men cause others to react to them.

 

[Poonani Maker]

However...What IF the nice guy HAS Fvcked a Lot of women? What IF he has been laid soooooooooooo many times? um, how can he NOT be desired by virtually Any woman? eventually? I find it Very difficult to be nice (like I was when I was virgin decades ago -- when I could NEVER get laid -- I was genuinely NOT genuine, I was a fake pastry version of myself because that was how School taught/brought me up to Be..the fake salesman, the college preparatory school. You had to be clean-cut, in the environment I grew up in, you could be expelled for something as small as getting caught drinking on the weekend (just by word of mouth, someone saw you at a party drinking, you gone!). So, in the beginning, because I was so sheltered, I was the fake nice guy women (from other schools And my school of course) did not like, although a few wanted me even in spite of that niceness due to my looks and jock "star" player status.

But a dude who is getting laid, CANNOT be nice. This is because the mere "getting laid" changes the man from the inside out..it just, you are Not the same anymore. So, "nice guys" who can not get laid, are nice guys who have Never been laid, or have only be laid a couple of times. After about 10-20 lays, it's impossible for a dude to BE nice in interactions with females. He may Try to be "nice" but it's impossible because the mystery of pvssy is so not all that great anymore. It's "oh, that's all she is...the slit" "that's all she can give me worth giving" so if that's ALL (there is) then conversing with them is so easy and they sense that you don't give a fvck cause you been there done that. It comes across. This is how 3-somes just appear outta nowhere, because the females you are speaking with are both in agreement that you are LOOSE and they will have no qualms about just fvcking you right here right now. You are that invitable, because you are a Wh0re yourself. I'm a Wh0re to my work. Most people are.