Why do I look the way I do?

[sambwoy]

I have been really thinking long and hard about who and what I am.
Its one thing to be bullied at school but then to go into adulthood for women to psychologically and emotionally abuse you and remind you they don't want to fukk you to your faces. This is not a ***** session. I have seen them do this to OTHER MEN, anonymously online and behind people's backs. What gives them the audacity to do that?

I have become dependant on female approval, I don't know why.
Besides that I have been bringing my family down with signs of depression, and they tell me to focus on other things, but for some reason I just can't. I can't form words. I have never told them to their faces that I feel ugly, but deep inside my conscience is destroying my life and affecting my life decisions.

 

[VikingKing]

I have been really thinking long and hard about who and what I am.
Its one thing to be bullied at school but then to go into adulthood for women to psychologically and emotionally abuse you and remind you they don't want to fukk you to your faces. This is not a ***** session. I have seen them do this to OTHER MEN, anonymously online and behind people's backs. What gives them the audacity to do that?

I have become dependant on female approval, I don't know why.
Besides that I have been bringing my family down with signs of depression, and they tell me to focus on other things, but for some reason I just can't. I can't form words. I have never told them to their faces that I feel ugly, but deep inside my conscience is destroying my life and affecting my life decisions.

Look at it this way. You will eventually get over it, but its up to you how long you want to take to accomplish it?

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

When you say look, do you mean your resting face? Do you mean the look on your face? Do you mean your body? Do you mean your style? Your clothing? Your facial hair?

What do you really mean by "look the way I do?"

There are important distinctions between all of these things.

If you feel ugly because of your body, it's your fault.
If you feel ugly because of your clothing, it's your fault.
If you feel ugly because of your hair style, it's your fault.
If you feel ugly because of your grooming, it's your fault.
If you feel ugly because of the natural bone structure of your face, you're wrong.

Unless you are severely deformed, then you can make yourself look attractive. It's Sunday. Why don't you hop off of the computer this afternoon and get a haircut, or buy a nice beard trimmer, or ask a salesperson at a store to help you find a casual shirt that will fit you really well? Why not do a super light workout?

 

[marmel75]

I have been really thinking long and hard about who and what I am.
Its one thing to be bullied at school but then to go into adulthood for women to psychologically and emotionally abuse you and remind you they don't want to fukk you to your faces. This is not a ***** session. I have seen them do this to OTHER MEN, anonymously online and behind people's backs. What gives them the audacity to do that?

I have become dependant on female approval, I don't know why.
Besides that I have been bringing my family down with signs of depression, and they tell me to focus on other things, but for some reason I just can't. I can't form words. I have never told them to their faces that I feel ugly, but deep inside my conscience is destroying my life and affecting my life decisions.

The more testosterone you have, the less you care about what other people think. Hit the gym hard bro...pretty soon you won't give a damn

 

[sambwoy]

Unless you are severely deformed, then you can make yourself look attractive. It's Sunday. Why don't you hop off of the computer this afternoon and get a haircut, or buy a nice beard trimmer, or ask a salesperson at a store to help you find a casual shirt that will fit you really well? Why not do a super light workout?

Assuming they are not getting any action and/or struggling socially, what are the severely deformed supposed to do? To be shut ins? These are the men I have been following on the internet who get exactly the kind of put downs from women that I am talking about, and that says a lot about the internet.

Once a mum had to put up a blog saying 'please could someone sleep with my downs syndrome son?'. Why would she have to go to those lengths to do that?

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Sambwoy are you deformed? Do you have severe learning problems? We can talk about hypothetical situations all day, but I'm trying to help YOU. Are you deformed? If not, then it doesn't matter that there are downy men out there whose mothers are begging strangers to sleep with them.

We're talking about you. So please tell us your situation, and do not wax philosophic about downs syndrome.

 

[AttackFormation]

Once a mum had to put up a blog saying 'please could someone sleep with my downs syndrome son?'. Why would she have to go to those lengths to do that?

You know what should be done with these people? kill them before/at birth. I'm serious. Why would you want to bring someone into the world who has something like a cranial deformity, downs syndrome etc.? Now human empathy will prevent this solution but I think it would be for the best.

 

[sambwoy]

Sambwoy are you deformed? Do you have severe learning problems? We can talk about hypothetical situations all day, but I'm trying to help YOU. Are you deformed? If not, then it doesn't matter that there are downy men out there whose mothers are begging strangers to sleep with them.

We're talking about you. So please tell us your situation, and do not wax philosophic about downs syndrome.

I don't know what you mean by hypothetical. All I know is I am deeply insecure about my looks that I can't tell anyone anymore and I know this from experience. I have done so before on forums and people just talked to me like robots, especially women. Why?

I have aspergers which makes my anxieties worse.

 

[foreverAFC]

try hitting the gym bro, at least it will give you something to do a few times a week, you can hit the machines and weights and get your mind off things for a while and work on yourself

i would even recommend a martial art, though i know thats asking a lot

 

[LiveYourDream]

I have become dependant on female approval, I don't know why.
Besides that I have been bringing my family down with signs of depression, and they tell me to focus on other things, but for some reason I just can't. I can't form words. I have never told them to their faces that I feel ugly, but deep inside my conscience is destroying my life and affecting my life decisions.

Sometimes the illusion of playing a victim and blaming something outside ourselves, "seems" easier than taking the risk and say no more of that.

I know feeling isolated, ugly and at the mercy of others approval, feels like there is no way to win. It feels helpless and like no one can understand. I get that it feels like there is no way out. I get that it feels like you are living a catch-22 of feeling ugly yet needing women's approval and looking good to get it. I guarantee you it's all an illusion. I know the pain feels real. I can say with absolute certainty, that your situation is not hopeless, unless you make it so.

You are at choice every moment for how you move forward in your life. Do you focus on the positive results you desire and take the positive action required, step by step, to achieve them. Do you wallow in self pity and find reasons why you believe, and will prove if you choose, that you are not good enough or capable enough in some way. You can have it either way. You choose.

You are clear that you have some challenging beliefs. That is fantastic! Many people never get that far. Only in knowing those beliefs are there can you get help and do something about them. Get some help for those and the support you need to get into a positive mindset and positive focus to achieve all that you desire.

Focusing on what you don't have or what you believe to be holding you back, especially as judgements against yourself, will only further the downward spiral.

Make a choice. Take a stand. Choose to only look up. Choose to take actions, one by one, that only move you in that positive direction.

Your story reminded me of this guy, Nick V. His story will take away anyone's pity party, unless they really want to keep it. Some people find their pity party a safer place to be without risk. You can choose bigger than that.

There are lots of videos about him. I am not sure the content of this exact one. I just did a quick grab off youtube. I am sure his challenges far out weight any you imagine for yourself. It doesn't matter. If he can live his dreams, so can you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgAKZSTVEs4

P.S. He travels the world, has taken part in more outdoor adventures than most, and married a beautiful woman. He is inspiration beyond words. There is no pity party left for yourself once you see his story. Choice is always yours. Pity party or life as you desire?

I hope you choose to live your dreams.

 

[Atom Smasher]

sambwoy, you still haven't answered the question. What specifically is the matter with your looks?

You seem to be avoiding getting down to specifics though several men here have asked you.

The problem is what exactly?

 

[Jair213]

Pm me a picture of yourself, otherwise we cant really help you to be honest

true

the more t you have the more confidence you have

condifent men = not giving a fvck

 

[sambwoy]

sambwoy, you still haven't answered the question. What specifically is the matter with your looks?

You seem to be avoiding getting down to specifics though several men here have asked you.

The problem is what exactly?

Okay, well just for you, as much as I did 'vow' to stay off the internet because my experience with it, as I said, got me upset.

I was putting brown mousse in my hair because it was ginger, and I was anxious about rejections. Also I have a condition called pectus excavatum (sunken chest).

I was stuck between what my family say about my looks, and the reactions I had got from others in my youth.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

COME ON!!!! BE A MAN!!!! The man needs to be strong. The man need to be tough. The man needs to be able to withstand pain without it actually hurting (affecting) him. I was worse off than you!!! I have done (and am still currently doing) everything in my power to make my looks as best as they can be. But it isn't for anyone! I do it for me. Fvck what everyone else thinks of me, I don't need them. I have done stuff that NOBODY in this world could have ever done and for them to tell me otherwise is horsesh!t. That is the mindset that you need to have. THAT IS THE MENTALITY THAT YOU NEED TO HAVE!

I have high expectations for myself. I am destined for greatness. I work hard AND smart. I'm doing this all for me. I don't need to impress you or him or her or anyone else here, BUT myself. I won't let anything stand in my way and sure as hell won't let anyone stand in my way either.

Read my signature! Read it! And envelope yourself in it! Learn fool! You keep working because you are at rock bottom right now! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE! Work hard! Try hard! People will hate you for it! BECAUSE THEY CAN'T DO IT!!! And as you rise above all, you will realize that you have done that no other has ever done before. Pook said it, and no one embraced it: As you think, so shall you become. He took that quote from Bruce Lee. Why? It is because it's all about the mindset you have. Not any of the techniques or any of that. It's about you. Who cares what others think about you! They don't live your life. You do! So go and change it!!!

































Get up. Now.

 

[Epimanes]

Go and buy the "mindful attraction plan" book.. Read it and be it..

 

[IBreatheSpears]

what are the severely deformed supposed to do?

Find other severely deformed people.

The sexual market is a true free market, complete with monopolies and unfairness.

 

[jimmy18]

Russell Brand went from

http://www.sick-celebrities.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/russell-brand-as-a-young-and-chubby-man.jpg

to

http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Russell+Brand+Library+Foundation+Young+Literati+_DBexh5XsFbl.jpg

umad OP?

 

[sambwoy]

Find other severely deformed people.

The sexual market is a true free market, complete with monopolies and unfairness.

It is logical thinking to date within your league, but what about applying it to life?
Do you be a shut in or risk it and go for the gold in career?

People can support you in your career and workers rights if you are disfigured
or disabled, but no-one can make guarantees in where you stand in the sexual market. This is where confidence does not apply.

I don't have a problem with preferences. Its that the government doesn't make things fair forcing people into any kind of labour and say that they are doing it for 'the people'.
Many girls are so dumb to the extent of weighing up a guys looks in aspects of life where they should not matter, and we have discussed this before in forums. They vote for prime ministers/presidents just because they think they're hot. They lower the bar for whatever you've done or are doing with your life when they think you're cute.

It is humiliating and crippling to feel the scowl or eye-rolling of a 'hot chick'
when you're in her presence. I experienced this the hard way when in
my youth. It is saying you are not good enough for her to even share utensils with you. She
might as well be armed with some kind of disinfectant spray, when your boss wants you and her to work together on an assignment.

I've seen comic books and films that use characters like that (see 'American Beauty').

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

If you are ugly go to gym and make yourself beautiful body,I have seen a lot of BD and their body gives them many + points, some girls will want to **** your body not face.

 

[sambwoy]

Now human empathy will prevent this solution but I think it would be for the best.

I was for a while painfully insecure and lowered my expectations, reading into these rules of attraction, becoming aloof, avoiding people, yet you long for something. People told me my attitude was what frightened people, but the looks laws still rule.

Not necessarily getting off with hot chicks is a life goal, but do you understand what I am getting at? Life doesn't owe you anything, sure, but what else is there? Life seems to be about money, going to work, going to work....

This site saved me from destroying myself. Unlike AskMen which I used to go on it is more honest, and not riddled with white knights.