Why do I feel that women are 'against' me?

[sambwoy]

I won’t ever get the body that women prefer because of my genes and I have a hole in my chest at any rate. Much female culture to me seems the sole preserve of the handsome man, and everyone else is the butt end of cruelty and exclusion.

I considered not going to clubs altogether- I couldn't cope in those anyway when I was 18-20 and its only for shallow people.

I've been spending a lot of time figuring out who I am and what works for me, how to live my life, and maybe its all in my head, but it somewhat hurts going around in public thinking you are an outsider.

That you don’t, or will ever, belong in a woman’s world, socially or otherwise. They are there with you in public, and yet their world seems so far apart from yours, and you can’t figure out why you feel this way or what brought about these feelings. So I am left quietly despairing, and nobody can understand where you are coming from in your feelings, and tell you you are talking rubbish.

Can anyone relate to these feelings. Maybe its better being a recluse. Is it all in my head?

 

[corrector]

Of course I relate to these feelings. You mean hole in your "gut". Can you give us some more information? Did you just break-up (i.e. because of something the girl did to you during the relationship) or get dumped from a girl? Did you get rejected or blown-off by a girl you really wanted before you wrote this? What is your story?

I felt a hole in my gut as a result of dumping a girl I was seeing last year but it just lasted for a few months. I figured that particular emotion is because there was a loving relationship and I just nuked it and got rid of the girl and there was a hole after that.

I don't know about clubs. I relate to what you are saying in terms of online dating. However, there are many people on here that feel online dating is rigged up for those who have the looks and it's a crapshoot at best for everyone else.

If you are feeling a void in your chest, perhaps it may be better to fill it with Jesus. That is what I did when I was a teen to today. If you rely on the love of women, then that does not mean they love you for you, or love you unconditionally. They may like what you have to offer them (i.e. looks, or some other superficial appeal), but that doesn't mean they love you for who you are.

 

[sambwoy]

If I was invited to go to a club again by someone, should I go and have a good time, or turn down the offer?

 

[sambwoy]

Of course I relate to these feelings. You mean hole in your "gut". Can you give us some more information? Did you just break-up (i.e. because of something the girl did to you during the relationship) or get dumped from a girl? Did you get rejected or blown-off by a girl you really wanted before you wrote this? What is your story?

I felt a hole in my gut as a result of dumping a girl I was seeing last year but it just lasted for a few months. I figured that particular emotion is because there was a loving relationship and I just nuked it and got rid of the girl and there was a hole after that.

I don't know about clubs. I relate to what you are saying in terms of online dating. However, there are many people on here that feel online dating is rigged up for those who have the looks and it's a crapshoot at best for everyone else.

If you are feeling a void in your chest, perhaps it may be better to fill it with Jesus. That is what I did when I was a teen to today. If you rely on the love of women, then that does not mean they love you for you, or love you unconditionally. They may like what you have to offer them (i.e. looks, or some other superficial appeal), but that doesn't mean they love you for who you are.

No its a physical hole. I have pectus excavatum. But I do feel 'empty' too.

 

[Chase24]

I have pectus excavatum too, but it's not very 'deep' or whatever. Just work out and it does nothing but enhances your muscles. I've had plenty of girls touch my chest and comment on how I must work out a lot. In fact, I forgot I even have it until I googled it. If you dwell on it then you're just setting yourself up for failure. The only thing that annoys me about it is that you can't get a perfect 6 pack with it.

Just get girls to take a big body shot off you, that should get them pretty drunk!

But really, looks aren't everything. They can help, but it's all about being comfortable with yourself. That's what attracts women. Besides, you wear clothes, so it's covered up anyway.