Why do I always feel the need to over communicate with new girls??

[jackhamma]

I meet a new girl thats potential dating material. I end up finding out she likes me, then all of sudden I turn off smooth mode and feel the need to message through out the day, text goodnight etc.

Is it better/more to my advantage to NOT be so "in contact" in the early stages??

Please guide me..

 

[El Payaso]

At least you're aware of you're behavior which it's good. The best thing to do is just stop yourself anytime you notice yourself going down that path.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Scarcity mentality. Outcome dependence.

That's it. Relax my friend. You have to lean to just not give a fvck, and they will respond warmly.

 

[Krueg]

Its okay to talk to them, just dont tell them your life story! Keep the focus on her and ask questions about her. But you need to keep some mystery about you. Don't want to come off as Nice Guy You wanna see if she will stick around or not..

 

[jimmy18]

Fear of loss

 

[skinnyguy]

And now you're overthinking it.

Stop caring about what she thinks. Do exactly what you want, and if she doesn't like it, she's not right for you.

 

[jaygreenb]

Less is more, in the beginning I would not intitiate contact more than once per week. If she reaches out to you in between you can reply, just don't get to over eager. Some real easy rules to follow until it becomes second nature with talking/texting:

Only text/call to set up dates. Do this max once a week at first.
Never text her more than once without a response.
Let her send the last text of the conversation (you end it).
Keep your texts light/fun and unemotional, no sappy crap. So never never talk about your feelings for her, let her set the pace for that.

 

[latinnova]

Jay Green and everyone else is dead on. The fewer the better, especially in the beginning. If they get all sappy on you, be clever and find a response that is not sappy or offensive. If you don't respond at all to it they might get offended.
However, I have had on for the past few weeks that likes to talk dirty about the coming up weekends, and I text her back and she loves it, gets her all riled up about the weekend. Just try to read the chick. But in the beggining, ya, the less you text or message her, the better.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

I meet a new girl thats potential dating material. I end up finding out she likes me, then all of sudden I turn off smooth mode and feel the need to message through out the day, text goodnight etc.

Is it better/more to my advantage to NOT be so "in contact" in the early stages??

Please guide me..

It's because you're insecure. If you're drowning in pvssy on a regular basis, you think you'd have the time to pour your feelings out to every new girl you meet?

 

[jackhamma]

Thanks guys for the blunt responses. I am really trying to work out getting back into the old mindset.

My problem is when I pursue multiple women I get obsessed with wanting more and more, to the point where I am going on a few dates a week and it is never enough. When I am not chasing multiple women and I do come across one I get that needy feeling of having to text etc like Harry said.

How do you find a balance? I have friends where I can't see them all the time because every weekend ALL they want to do is chase pussay. 24/7 no matter what we are doing it HAS to have women or they aren't down. Thats how I use to be and it started to become insane.

Part of the problem was I worked at home the past 2 years, so I had A LOT of time sitting around. The past 2 months I am finally employed at a fast pace sales job working 60hrs a week which is great. Started the gym up to get my gains back, but even looking around the gym all I can think about is slamming the women in there lol..

Is this all normal? Am I wrong?

 

[Bokanovsky]

Because you are needy, insecure, care too much and feel obligated to qualify yourself to others. I'm guessing you are also not a busy guy (you wouldn't have time for this kind if sh!t if you were).

Not trying to insult you, just saying it how I see it.