"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Why do I always feel the need to over communicate with new girls??

jackhamma

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I meet a new girl thats potential dating material. I end up finding out she likes me, then all of sudden I turn off smooth mode and feel the need to message through out the day, text goodnight etc.

Is it better/more to my advantage to NOT be so "in contact" in the early stages??

Please guide me..
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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El Payaso

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At least you're aware of you're behavior which it's good. The best thing to do is just stop yourself anytime you notice yourself going down that path.
 

Peaks&Valleys

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Scarcity mentality. Outcome dependence.

That's it. Relax my friend. You have to lean to just not give a fvck, and they will respond warmly.
 

Krueg

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Its okay to talk to them, just dont tell them your life story! Keep the focus on her and ask questions about her. But you need to keep some mystery about you. Don't want to come off as Nice Guy You wanna see if she will stick around or not..
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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skinnyguy

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And now you're overthinking it.

Stop caring about what she thinks. Do exactly what you want, and if she doesn't like it, she's not right for you.
 

jaygreenb

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Less is more, in the beginning I would not intitiate contact more than once per week. If she reaches out to you in between you can reply, just don't get to over eager. Some real easy rules to follow until it becomes second nature with talking/texting:

Only text/call to set up dates. Do this max once a week at first.
Never text her more than once without a response.
Let her send the last text of the conversation (you end it).
Keep your texts light/fun and unemotional, no sappy crap. So never never talk about your feelings for her, let her set the pace for that.
 

latinnova

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Jay Green and everyone else is dead on. The fewer the better, especially in the beginning. If they get all sappy on you, be clever and find a response that is not sappy or offensive. If you don't respond at all to it they might get offended.
However, I have had on for the past few weeks that likes to talk dirty about the coming up weekends, and I text her back and she loves it, gets her all riled up about the weekend. Just try to read the chick. But in the beggining, ya, the less you text or message her, the better.
 

BetterCallSaul

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jackhamma said:
I meet a new girl thats potential dating material. I end up finding out she likes me, then all of sudden I turn off smooth mode and feel the need to message through out the day, text goodnight etc.

Is it better/more to my advantage to NOT be so "in contact" in the early stages??

Please guide me..
It's because you're insecure. If you're drowning in pvssy on a regular basis, you think you'd have the time to pour your feelings out to every new girl you meet?
 

jackhamma

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Thanks guys for the blunt responses. I am really trying to work out getting back into the old mindset.

My problem is when I pursue multiple women I get obsessed with wanting more and more, to the point where I am going on a few dates a week and it is never enough. When I am not chasing multiple women and I do come across one I get that needy feeling of having to text etc like Harry said.

How do you find a balance? I have friends where I can't see them all the time because every weekend ALL they want to do is chase pussay. 24/7 no matter what we are doing it HAS to have women or they aren't down. Thats how I use to be and it started to become insane.

Part of the problem was I worked at home the past 2 years, so I had A LOT of time sitting around. The past 2 months I am finally employed at a fast pace sales job working 60hrs a week which is great. Started the gym up to get my gains back, but even looking around the gym all I can think about is slamming the women in there lol..

Is this all normal? Am I wrong?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Bokanovsky

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Because you are needy, insecure, care too much and feel obligated to qualify yourself to others. I'm guessing you are also not a busy guy (you wouldn't have time for this kind if sh!t if you were).

Not trying to insult you, just saying it how I see it.
 
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