DrMetallica
Master Don Juan
What is up with gay people talking differently? It's like they have their own accent or something.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Why do gay people talk differently?
- Thread starter DrMetallica
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Scrumtulescence
Master Don Juan
Which gay people? You mean the minority of gays who speak effeminitely? I imagine it's because....surprise surprise....they're a lot more feminine than most guys.
DonJuanMonk
Master Don Juan
I've always wondered that too.
Phantasmal
Senior Don Juan
I've thought about this before, and it's pretty simple really. Whether we realize it or not, the way we use our voice is somewhat conditioned by our surroundings. Not entirely, but somewhat. Try talking like a gay guy. Anybody can do it. The only difference is our self-image. Many gays embrace a more feminine self-image, so they use their voice in a more feminine way, dress differently, etc. This isn't really a conscious decision for them, nor is it for us.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
thekingdooder
Don Juan
I agree, but I see it as more of a "cultural" thing, you know, like people who listen to Hip-Hop talking differently.Originally posted by Phantasmal
I've thought about this before, and it's pretty simple really. Whether we realize it or not, the way we use our voice is somewhat conditioned by our surroundings. Not entirely, but somewhat. Try talking like a gay guy. Anybody can do it. The only difference is our self-image. Many gays embrace a more feminine self-image, so they use their voice in a more feminine way, dress differently, etc. This isn't really a conscious decision for them, nor is it for us.
This is it. There's a gay guy that my friend's ex-girlfriend was friends with, he came to a couple of my parties I never really talked to him, so I guess he was an aquantance(sp?), and he definetely talks with a "gay" tone of voice.Originally posted by Phantasmal
Many gays embrace a more feminine self-image, so they use their voice in a more feminine way
I asked my friend about it and he said that it probably started off trying to act more feminine, then it just became habit.
Unregistered
Master Don Juan
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I've thought about this. It's not any different, I guess, than the middle-class suburban Midwestern white kids that start talking ghetto.
I've just always wondered if it was a conscious effort. It seems almost impossible to constantly adjust your speech habits.
I've just always wondered if it was a conscious effort. It seems almost impossible to constantly adjust your speech habits.
As I said, they do it to act more feminine, and after a while it just shifts. It's like people dropping their accent, same basic idea really.Originally posted by Unregistered
I've just always wondered if it was a conscious effort. It seems almost impossible to constantly adjust your speech habits.