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Why did She put the ring back on

vic1234

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So i cheated on my girl three years ago. She found out,She forgave but took the engagemang ring off her finger… few months later i suspected her of cheating but never asked her. so few days ago She put back the ring and i asked her why and She Said that i gave her Hope and i Said things she wanted to hear. She is traveling this weekend for one week in another country for work training. Should i be worried? Did She put the ring back to make me think She Will not cheat on this trip? How should i handle this stutation
 

deadmasterx

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When you already cheated you kinda lose credibility to be worried about your woman cheating on you or not. Now it's clear that you come from a place of neediness and low self confidence to think that because of some signs she is cheating on you.

I believe that you shouldn't worry about your woman cheating or not on you, because if she's doing it, you will eventually find out and hopefully do the right thing (needless to say, breaking up and ghosting forever).

If she's giving concrete signs, such as staying out for longer, not caring about you, not being affectionate, then it's worth investigating.
 

Barrister

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Guys need to stop cheating if they are going to get found out by women. And to be clear, I am not advocating for cheating, but if you do it and still want your relationship to last, she can't find out.

OP - you have lost all of the power in this relationship once she found out you cheated. You have essentially green-lighted any and all bad behavior, including cheating, that she ever will want to partake in at this point. My advice is to simply end this relationship because it is not a matter of whether it ends but simply when. You sound very worried about losing her - so you are coming from a place of scarcity. Rip the band aid off and end it. She will respect you more for it and you can both move on now with your lives rather than another 6-12 months down the road.
 

EyeBRollin

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Guys need to stop cheating if they are going to get found out by women. And to be clear, I am not advocating for cheating, but if you do it and still want your relationship to last, she can't find out.
This. Been saying this. Take cheating to the grave. Tell no one. Deny deny deny.

When you already cheated you kinda lose credibility to be worried about your woman cheating on you or not.
Nah. Female cheating is completely unacceptable. Instant grounds for dismissal.

So i cheated on my girl three years ago. She found out,She forgave but took the engagemang ring off her finger…
Why and how did she find out?
 

manfrombelow

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While I do agree that men should have mistresses aka side chicks aka FWBs, they should only do it if they are capable of keeping it a secret.

The moment you let your LTR finds out you're cheating, you're done. Forever.
 

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EyeBRollin

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OP - you have lost all of the power in this relationship once she found out you cheated. You have essentially green-lighted any and all bad behavior, including cheating, that she ever will want to partake in at this point.
Some western women may believe this- but it is not the same thing. If she cheats it is unforgivable. The relationship is over.

Women in the west have conflated this men and women are the same BS for too long. Men are not sexually monogamous. This consistent across mammal species in the animal kingdom. Women in the past and of non-western cultures understood this. Men provide the protection and resources, women keep their legs closed. If he occasionally bangs other Poon she either looks the other way or just accepts that he has multiple wives. Modern western society trying to engineer these new “rules” is destroying relationships.
 

SW15

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I agree with @Barrister that this relationship is over & not salvageable in any way.

If Caleb Jones (aka Blackdragon) were examining this, he would argue that this would be the reason to have open relationships. In an open relationship, there is no concept of monogamy or unfaithfulness (aka cheating). Therefore, @vic1234 could have sex with other women & not disrupt the nature of the relationship. Additionally, in an open relationship, @vic1234 ’s wife is able to have sex with other men within the rules of that relationship. It’s a quasi cuck arrangement but in theory it is supposed to cut down on jealousy.
 

Barrister

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I agree with @Barrister that this relationship is over & not salvageable in any way.

If Caleb Jones (aka Blackdragon) were examining this, he would argue that this would be the reason to have open relationships. In an open relationship, there is no concept of monogamy or unfaithfulness (aka cheating). Therefore, @vic1234 could have sex with other women & not disrupt the nature of the relationship. Additionally, in an open relationship, @vic1234 ’s wife is able to have sex with other men within the rules of that relationship. It’s a quasi cuck arrangement but in theory it is supposed to cut down on jealousy.
The concept of the "open" relationship with a woman never works long term. One of the two people always becomes jealous and usually it is the man (typically when he is going through a dry spell outside of his lone woman and she is still getting boned by other men besides him) simply because a woman naturally has so many more options. It also lends itself to monkey-branching by the woman. She will eventually attract someone who she perceives as higher value than the man she is in the "open" relationship with and who she wants something more with. She then completely exits.

I suppose it could work if the man has a truly, 100% IDGAF attitude about the relationship. At that point why not just relegate her to plate status instead of messing around with the whole "open" relationship thing? More freedom and less chance to get emotional strings involved. I don't get people who advocate for this "open" thing at all.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I agree with @Barrister that this relationship is over & not salvageable in any way.

If Caleb Jones (aka Blackdragon) were examining this, he would argue that this would be the reason to have open relationships. In an open relationship, there is no concept of monogamy or unfaithfulness (aka cheating). Therefore, @vic1234 could have sex with other women & not disrupt the nature of the relationship. Additionally, in an open relationship, @vic1234 ’s wife is able to have sex with other men within the rules of that relationship. It’s a quasi cuck arrangement but in theory it is supposed to cut down on jealousy.
And also raise the chances of STDs by quite a lot
 

LARaiders85

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Women don't usually forgive. You know this. The relationship is poisoned, you cant trust her and she cant trust you.
 

SW15

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The concept of the "open" relationship with a woman never works long term. One of the two people always becomes jealous and usually it is the man (typically when he is going through a dry spell outside of his lone woman and she is still getting boned by other men besides him) simply because a woman naturally has so many more options. It also lends itself to monkey-branching by the woman. She will eventually attract someone who she perceives as higher value than the man she is in the "open" relationship with and who she wants something more with. She then completely exits.

I suppose it could work if the man has a truly, 100% IDGAF attitude about the relationship. At that point why not just relegate her to plate status instead of messing around with the whole "open" relationship thing? More freedom and less chance to get emotional strings involved. I don't get people who advocate for this "open" thing at all.
What is the difference between “plate status” & open, non-marital relationships? They look similar to me. Is it a commitment concept? In both plate arrangements & open relationships, both sides are able to have sex with others within the rules of the interaction.

I could not do an open relationship. Open relationships typically benefit women more than men in the way most men do their open relationships. Caleb Jones has a book (link below) for men to have the advantage in the open relationship by implementing his system. I’m not sure how difficult it is to implement but I would guess it would be difficult since most men fail in their open relationships.

 

Barrister

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What is the difference between “plate status” & open, non-marital relationships? They look similar to me. Is it a commitment concept? In both plate arrangements & open relationships, both sides are able to have sex with others within the rules of the interaction.

I could not do an open relationship. Open relationships typically benefit women more than men in the way most men do their open relationships. Caleb Jones has a book (link below) for men to have the advantage in the open relationship by implementing his system. I’m not sure how difficult it is to implement but I would guess it would be difficult since most men fail in their open relationships.

Maybe we are splitting hairs. But IMO (and reasonable minds can disagree), "open relationship" still carries a type of commitment with it. Many times spending much more time together outside of meetups for drinks/sex like a plate does. Also, I see a lot of couples living together in "open" arrangements. You never see that with plate status.

You have done far more research than I have. But those are my feelings -- admittedly not supported by anything other than my views.
 

EyeBRollin

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What is the difference between “plate status” & open, non-marital relationships? They look similar to me. Is it a commitment concept? In both plate arrangements & open relationships, both sides are able to have sex with others within the rules of the interaction.

I could not do an open relationship. Open relationships typically benefit women more than men in the way most men do their open relationships. Caleb Jones has a book (link below) for men to have the advantage in the open relationship by implementing his system. I’m not sure how difficult it is to implement but I would guess it would be difficult since most men fail in their open relationships.

The only open relationship is one sided. He can fvck around and she can’t. If she can fvck around also it isn’t a relationship.
 

SW15

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The only open relationship is one sided. He can fvck around and she can’t. If she can fvck around also it isn’t a relationship.
Blackdragon’s Open Relationships manual is intended for a man to maximize fuccking around & minimize a woman fuccking around in the relationship.

Maybe we are splitting hairs. But IMO (and reasonable minds can disagree), "open relationship" still carries a type of commitment with it. Many times spending much more time together outside of meetups for drinks/sex like a plate does. Also, I see a lot of couples living together in "open" arrangements. You never see that with plate status.

You have done far more research than I have. But those are my feelings -- admittedly not supported by anything other than my views.
Yes, this makes sense to me.
 

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Doctor Doom

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You cheated. It’s a wrap. She’s going to get you back somehow. Never lie to a woman. Moving forward, if you want to see other women while having a girlfriend just be upfront about it.
 

tightgrp

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Seems counter productive with the amount of options women have compared to men.
Already marriage has a high probability of being a losing proposition for a man. Considering the number of options available to women, their inability to take responsibility, female dishonesty as default and their ability to go instantaneously ice cold, it seems investment in a relationship is not far behind.
 

EyeBRollin

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Moving forward, if you want to see other women while having a girlfriend just be upfront about it.
doesn’t work either. That approach plays to the female mating strategy. If you tell a western woman you will fvck around, they will:

A) not enter into the desired open relationship
B) agree to it then still resent you and destroy the relationship
C) agree on the condition they can be open and fvck other guys

All are losing propositions for the man.
 
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