"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Why developing serious relationships in your 20's matter
- Thread starter CrashOverRide
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
VikingKing
Banned
Trash
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
i actually agree with the article but I think even she doesn't take the conversation to where it needs to be taken.
I mean, face it you don't' see many hot shot millionaires driving Ferrari's who have game that is just air tight and have rock hard abs
what iam getting at is in the real world, somewhere around your early 20's you chose what you want to be. some guys want to be the social DJ party guy with a banging social life. some guys want to be businessman.
neither is wrong. but you must chose one. i'm not saying you can't get laid as a business man, but i will never be.. Lexington or muscleman or anything like that my plate is too full to have THAT type of social life. part of the reason i had no qualms about being married; if i were single my social life wouldn't be all that much different than it is now. Then if you do have that social life and want to get in business later, you have too many responsibilities to just up and do what needs to be done to really start and invest in something.
men, like women, can't have it all. i think the fallacy is not starting late it's thinking that you can have it all just like women think they can have it all. neither can.
I mean, face it you don't' see many hot shot millionaires driving Ferrari's who have game that is just air tight and have rock hard abs
what iam getting at is in the real world, somewhere around your early 20's you chose what you want to be. some guys want to be the social DJ party guy with a banging social life. some guys want to be businessman.
neither is wrong. but you must chose one. i'm not saying you can't get laid as a business man, but i will never be.. Lexington or muscleman or anything like that my plate is too full to have THAT type of social life. part of the reason i had no qualms about being married; if i were single my social life wouldn't be all that much different than it is now. Then if you do have that social life and want to get in business later, you have too many responsibilities to just up and do what needs to be done to really start and invest in something.
men, like women, can't have it all. i think the fallacy is not starting late it's thinking that you can have it all just like women think they can have it all. neither can.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
backbreaker,
Yep - a choice must be made. I struggled with this question a lot in my 20s. Guess I found myself somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. I was always restless; alternating between feelings of working too hard, and not hard enough.
She also doesn't understand that things like "who does the dishes" work themselves out much more quickly for guys with money. It's the guys who are making the same or less than their women that really struggle with that crap.
Yep - a choice must be made. I struggled with this question a lot in my 20s. Guess I found myself somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. I was always restless; alternating between feelings of working too hard, and not hard enough.
She also doesn't understand that things like "who does the dishes" work themselves out much more quickly for guys with money. It's the guys who are making the same or less than their women that really struggle with that crap.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Dear Crasher,
I didn't think the article was too bad....One thing that isn't mentioned,is that if people don't fall into a regular pattern of regular sex in their late teens and twenties,I doubt that they will ever get into it later....
As a matter of interest can anyone tell me of a relationship that involved someone starting regular sexual activity late in life and maintaining it for more than a few years?
I didn't think the article was too bad....One thing that isn't mentioned,is that if people don't fall into a regular pattern of regular sex in their late teens and twenties,I doubt that they will ever get into it later....
As a matter of interest can anyone tell me of a relationship that involved someone starting regular sexual activity late in life and maintaining it for more than a few years?
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
it doesn't have women's best interest at heart either but it doesn't mean it's not accurate to some extent.
just beucase you don't like something doesn't mean it's not true.
all i am saying and this is pretty much common sense if you sit back and think about it is that you only have a finite amount of timel. however you decide to spend the time, 90% work 10% relationships, 10% work 90% relationships, 50% work 50% relationships, that's the foundation that you are going to have to work with the rest of your life. people who spend all their time developing businesses don't and wont' have the social skills as the guy who goes on 5-6 dates a month and is spinning 3 plates at a time and the guy spinning 3 plates at a time will never have the time to develop the business skill set as someone who has been spending his young adult hood honing his skills. this is common sense **** if you think about it. r
your 20's are basically your base template for the rest of your life. these 10 years are where you develop skills, thought patterns, experiences that will effect how you look at and live the rest of your life. I think her advice is ****ty in the sense that she is saying drop evrything and pick a SO but i think it's on point in the sense that she is saying you can't have both. you gotta chose. not saying you can't a dating life after you have made some money but if you want to "have it all" if you want to be some dude who is balling out of control and then be able to leave worka nd go to the bar and pick up 4 phone numbers on a thursday night, that's just not going to happen for a number of reasons
just beucase you don't like something doesn't mean it's not true.
all i am saying and this is pretty much common sense if you sit back and think about it is that you only have a finite amount of timel. however you decide to spend the time, 90% work 10% relationships, 10% work 90% relationships, 50% work 50% relationships, that's the foundation that you are going to have to work with the rest of your life. people who spend all their time developing businesses don't and wont' have the social skills as the guy who goes on 5-6 dates a month and is spinning 3 plates at a time and the guy spinning 3 plates at a time will never have the time to develop the business skill set as someone who has been spending his young adult hood honing his skills. this is common sense **** if you think about it. r
your 20's are basically your base template for the rest of your life. these 10 years are where you develop skills, thought patterns, experiences that will effect how you look at and live the rest of your life. I think her advice is ****ty in the sense that she is saying drop evrything and pick a SO but i think it's on point in the sense that she is saying you can't have both. you gotta chose. not saying you can't a dating life after you have made some money but if you want to "have it all" if you want to be some dude who is balling out of control and then be able to leave worka nd go to the bar and pick up 4 phone numbers on a thursday night, that's just not going to happen for a number of reasons
PlayHer Man
Banned
I never take any type of dating or relationship advice from women BECAUSE women are interested in what's in the best interest of women.
When women talk about relationships all I hear is white noise. I couldn't even read that article because after the "It makes sense right?" sentence everything went blurry.. as if my brain was telling me I was reading the text version of white noise.
Which reminds me why I rarely listen when women talk --> They take forever to get to the point, they rarely know what they are talking about and I have sh!t to do.
I give the article two thumbs down
When women talk about relationships all I hear is white noise. I couldn't even read that article because after the "It makes sense right?" sentence everything went blurry.. as if my brain was telling me I was reading the text version of white noise.
Which reminds me why I rarely listen when women talk --> They take forever to get to the point, they rarely know what they are talking about and I have sh!t to do.
I give the article two thumbs down
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I'm not sure what the point of the article is. People who want "serious" relationshps are going to have them, people who don't aren't. I can't imagine lots of people are going to enter into relationships they don't want simply because they think they should practice having them. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
B
BeDJ
Guest
My work laptop closes at 10pm on most weekdays and I still find the time to go out a couple of nights during the week. I bet it doesn't require as much obligation than having a wife and kid. It's funny how some young guys rationalize commitment as if it were the right thing to do.
It's not in terms of chasing tail vs. career vs. self-improvement vs. whatever. That's the reasoning average men make to feel better about themselves. Similar to a high school kid when his family asks about his dating life 'I don't have a GF because I don't have time for it.' Everyone has time do to do anything. Time is there, you're just wasting it. Just like my former coworker who got married early told me, 'why don't you find a GF instead of spending your time chasing tail.' Fvcking. Shaming. Tactics. Just so he can feign happiness that he married the best he thought he could get years ago? Of course, his wife is a fat cvnt gifting him birthday presents with his own money.
I wouldn't trade the thrill of the hunt for anything.
This author already contributed enough to western society's downfall.
Founding editor of www.Gawker.com
It's not in terms of chasing tail vs. career vs. self-improvement vs. whatever. That's the reasoning average men make to feel better about themselves. Similar to a high school kid when his family asks about his dating life 'I don't have a GF because I don't have time for it.' Everyone has time do to do anything. Time is there, you're just wasting it. Just like my former coworker who got married early told me, 'why don't you find a GF instead of spending your time chasing tail.' Fvcking. Shaming. Tactics. Just so he can feign happiness that he married the best he thought he could get years ago? Of course, his wife is a fat cvnt gifting him birthday presents with his own money.
I wouldn't trade the thrill of the hunt for anything.
This author already contributed enough to western society's downfall.
Founding editor of www.Gawker.com
JaegerPilot217
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2013
- Messages
- 1,229
- Reaction score
- 16
because 20's are your prime years