Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Why developing serious relationships in your 20's matter
- Thread starter CrashOverRide
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
VikingKing
Banned
Trash
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
i actually agree with the article but I think even she doesn't take the conversation to where it needs to be taken.
I mean, face it you don't' see many hot shot millionaires driving Ferrari's who have game that is just air tight and have rock hard abs
what iam getting at is in the real world, somewhere around your early 20's you chose what you want to be. some guys want to be the social DJ party guy with a banging social life. some guys want to be businessman.
neither is wrong. but you must chose one. i'm not saying you can't get laid as a business man, but i will never be.. Lexington or muscleman or anything like that my plate is too full to have THAT type of social life. part of the reason i had no qualms about being married; if i were single my social life wouldn't be all that much different than it is now. Then if you do have that social life and want to get in business later, you have too many responsibilities to just up and do what needs to be done to really start and invest in something.
men, like women, can't have it all. i think the fallacy is not starting late it's thinking that you can have it all just like women think they can have it all. neither can.
I mean, face it you don't' see many hot shot millionaires driving Ferrari's who have game that is just air tight and have rock hard abs
what iam getting at is in the real world, somewhere around your early 20's you chose what you want to be. some guys want to be the social DJ party guy with a banging social life. some guys want to be businessman.
neither is wrong. but you must chose one. i'm not saying you can't get laid as a business man, but i will never be.. Lexington or muscleman or anything like that my plate is too full to have THAT type of social life. part of the reason i had no qualms about being married; if i were single my social life wouldn't be all that much different than it is now. Then if you do have that social life and want to get in business later, you have too many responsibilities to just up and do what needs to be done to really start and invest in something.
men, like women, can't have it all. i think the fallacy is not starting late it's thinking that you can have it all just like women think they can have it all. neither can.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
backbreaker,
Yep - a choice must be made. I struggled with this question a lot in my 20s. Guess I found myself somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. I was always restless; alternating between feelings of working too hard, and not hard enough.
She also doesn't understand that things like "who does the dishes" work themselves out much more quickly for guys with money. It's the guys who are making the same or less than their women that really struggle with that crap.
Yep - a choice must be made. I struggled with this question a lot in my 20s. Guess I found myself somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. I was always restless; alternating between feelings of working too hard, and not hard enough.
She also doesn't understand that things like "who does the dishes" work themselves out much more quickly for guys with money. It's the guys who are making the same or less than their women that really struggle with that crap.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Dear Crasher,
I didn't think the article was too bad....One thing that isn't mentioned,is that if people don't fall into a regular pattern of regular sex in their late teens and twenties,I doubt that they will ever get into it later....
As a matter of interest can anyone tell me of a relationship that involved someone starting regular sexual activity late in life and maintaining it for more than a few years?
I didn't think the article was too bad....One thing that isn't mentioned,is that if people don't fall into a regular pattern of regular sex in their late teens and twenties,I doubt that they will ever get into it later....
As a matter of interest can anyone tell me of a relationship that involved someone starting regular sexual activity late in life and maintaining it for more than a few years?
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
it doesn't have women's best interest at heart either but it doesn't mean it's not accurate to some extent.
just beucase you don't like something doesn't mean it's not true.
all i am saying and this is pretty much common sense if you sit back and think about it is that you only have a finite amount of timel. however you decide to spend the time, 90% work 10% relationships, 10% work 90% relationships, 50% work 50% relationships, that's the foundation that you are going to have to work with the rest of your life. people who spend all their time developing businesses don't and wont' have the social skills as the guy who goes on 5-6 dates a month and is spinning 3 plates at a time and the guy spinning 3 plates at a time will never have the time to develop the business skill set as someone who has been spending his young adult hood honing his skills. this is common sense **** if you think about it. r
your 20's are basically your base template for the rest of your life. these 10 years are where you develop skills, thought patterns, experiences that will effect how you look at and live the rest of your life. I think her advice is ****ty in the sense that she is saying drop evrything and pick a SO but i think it's on point in the sense that she is saying you can't have both. you gotta chose. not saying you can't a dating life after you have made some money but if you want to "have it all" if you want to be some dude who is balling out of control and then be able to leave worka nd go to the bar and pick up 4 phone numbers on a thursday night, that's just not going to happen for a number of reasons
just beucase you don't like something doesn't mean it's not true.
all i am saying and this is pretty much common sense if you sit back and think about it is that you only have a finite amount of timel. however you decide to spend the time, 90% work 10% relationships, 10% work 90% relationships, 50% work 50% relationships, that's the foundation that you are going to have to work with the rest of your life. people who spend all their time developing businesses don't and wont' have the social skills as the guy who goes on 5-6 dates a month and is spinning 3 plates at a time and the guy spinning 3 plates at a time will never have the time to develop the business skill set as someone who has been spending his young adult hood honing his skills. this is common sense **** if you think about it. r
your 20's are basically your base template for the rest of your life. these 10 years are where you develop skills, thought patterns, experiences that will effect how you look at and live the rest of your life. I think her advice is ****ty in the sense that she is saying drop evrything and pick a SO but i think it's on point in the sense that she is saying you can't have both. you gotta chose. not saying you can't a dating life after you have made some money but if you want to "have it all" if you want to be some dude who is balling out of control and then be able to leave worka nd go to the bar and pick up 4 phone numbers on a thursday night, that's just not going to happen for a number of reasons
PlayHer Man
Banned
I never take any type of dating or relationship advice from women BECAUSE women are interested in what's in the best interest of women.
When women talk about relationships all I hear is white noise. I couldn't even read that article because after the "It makes sense right?" sentence everything went blurry.. as if my brain was telling me I was reading the text version of white noise.
Which reminds me why I rarely listen when women talk --> They take forever to get to the point, they rarely know what they are talking about and I have sh!t to do.
I give the article two thumbs down
When women talk about relationships all I hear is white noise. I couldn't even read that article because after the "It makes sense right?" sentence everything went blurry.. as if my brain was telling me I was reading the text version of white noise.
Which reminds me why I rarely listen when women talk --> They take forever to get to the point, they rarely know what they are talking about and I have sh!t to do.
I give the article two thumbs down
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I'm not sure what the point of the article is. People who want "serious" relationshps are going to have them, people who don't aren't. I can't imagine lots of people are going to enter into relationships they don't want simply because they think they should practice having them. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
B
BeDJ
Guest
My work laptop closes at 10pm on most weekdays and I still find the time to go out a couple of nights during the week. I bet it doesn't require as much obligation than having a wife and kid. It's funny how some young guys rationalize commitment as if it were the right thing to do.
It's not in terms of chasing tail vs. career vs. self-improvement vs. whatever. That's the reasoning average men make to feel better about themselves. Similar to a high school kid when his family asks about his dating life 'I don't have a GF because I don't have time for it.' Everyone has time do to do anything. Time is there, you're just wasting it. Just like my former coworker who got married early told me, 'why don't you find a GF instead of spending your time chasing tail.' Fvcking. Shaming. Tactics. Just so he can feign happiness that he married the best he thought he could get years ago? Of course, his wife is a fat cvnt gifting him birthday presents with his own money.
I wouldn't trade the thrill of the hunt for anything.
This author already contributed enough to western society's downfall.
Founding editor of www.Gawker.com
It's not in terms of chasing tail vs. career vs. self-improvement vs. whatever. That's the reasoning average men make to feel better about themselves. Similar to a high school kid when his family asks about his dating life 'I don't have a GF because I don't have time for it.' Everyone has time do to do anything. Time is there, you're just wasting it. Just like my former coworker who got married early told me, 'why don't you find a GF instead of spending your time chasing tail.' Fvcking. Shaming. Tactics. Just so he can feign happiness that he married the best he thought he could get years ago? Of course, his wife is a fat cvnt gifting him birthday presents with his own money.
I wouldn't trade the thrill of the hunt for anything.
This author already contributed enough to western society's downfall.
Founding editor of www.Gawker.com
JaegerPilot217
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2013
- Messages
- 1,229
- Reaction score
- 16
because 20's are your prime years