why cheating hurts the cheater most

[MightyMate]

Cheating doesnt hurt cheater the most. It hurts more to be cheaten if You dint cheat than to cheat. Trust me.

 

[WestCoaster]

Question from above: Does a man need to tell a woman why he is breaking up? Yes. The woman should get an answer. If you can't sit through women's tears or drama, you're a pus-y. I've been through a helluva lot more than women's tears in my life.

Just be a man. Cheating is the first sign of being a p-ssy.

Some options and ideas:

1. What's wrong with being alone?

2. Why get married if you want to play the field? Because society told you to get married? That's stupid. Society also says sitcoms and fast food should be consumed on a daily basis.

3. Why not date a ton of chicks and tell each one you're playing the field? You'll lose a lot of them, others it won't bother.

Why not just be a man and be honest? Either get married and be faithful or decide not to get married and play the field. I have more respect for hookers than I do people who cheat, I really do. The difference is the hooker is honest about who she is.

Just be honest and forthright -- why not?

 

[Egoist]

there is an underlying assumption that cheating is bad and evil. it's not.

(this is coming from a guy who've never cheated)

 

[TheTrimReaper]

I'm tired of the way women behave these days.

What they do is IM some dude from work while they are talking to you on the cell. They make their little emotional connection with him while they act like everything is great between you, then they drop you like you should have known.

It's passive aggressive. And unfortunately that's where women are heading as a whole these days. You ask them if there is anyone else and they say 'no'....When there definitely is. They end the relationship with you at 6 and are in his arms by 7.

When I see a player now, I applaud him. There is nothing that gets women as riled up as a player. Do you know why? Because they can't play their little game of passive-aggressive pick-and-choose with him. He is the one in the driver's seat. They know it and resent him for it. Ironically, they are also attracted to him(the dumb b1tches that they are) because they know he is smarter and more powerful than they are in the game.

People don't think about the benefits of commitment as much anymore. People are treated as expendable more and more often. How often does a girl you've started dating call you and tell you it's not going to work.... No, they just stop answering your calls or don't call back. I had a fiance...LTR....lived together for three years, and she wanted to end it in less than a minute. And I was lucky to have even gotten that in person.

I'm not going to let that keep me from enjoying my life though. I can't change how people are behaving. I'll just join them.

Don't think that my experience is the exception. I really don't think it is. And if you think that your girl is different and that she would never cheat on you, then you are one dumb SOB. I'll let you in on a secret. Every woman is like this. If you don't think so, then prove I'm wrong.

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by TheTrimReaper
It's passive aggressive. And unfortunately that's where women are heading as a whole these days. You ask them if there is anyone else and they say 'no'....When there definitely is. They end the relationship with you at 6 and are in his arms by 7.

That was all me a few months ago.

I had already broken up with her, but when I returned from overseas I sensed a change in her. Before I left we were still hooking up a couple of times per week. When I sensed something different I confronted her with it, and she vehemently denied there being anyone else. Then I see her a couple of days later at a club making out wiht a guy she OBVIOUSLY knew for more than two days.

Do us guys just have to plan a preemptive strike? It seems like the ONLY way you can protect yourself.

People don't think about the benefits of commitment as much anymore. People are treated as expendable more and more often.

Which really SUCKS for those of us who take their commitments seriously.

I'm not going to let that keep me from enjoying my life though. I can't change how people are behaving. I'll just join them.

I am thinking the same thing. My problem is that I actually have a conscience and would feel like sh!t the first time I really screw someone over. I'm just not like that, maybe I need to be a little more ruthless.

My buddy has made a comment to me several times regarding cheating on your girl. He says, "Why not, you think she wouldn't do it to you?" And I KNOW it's true, yet I can't bring myself to treat someone that way. I know how it feels....I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Don't think that my experience is the exception. I really don't think it is. And if you think that your girl is different and that she would never cheat on you, then you are one dumb SOB. I'll let you in on a secret. Every woman is like this. If you don't think so, then prove I'm wrong.

I think pretty much everyone I know is in the same boat. The only ones who think otherwise are the ignorant youngsters who have yet to be burned.

 

[golfguy]

Good post.

I definately agree that cheating hurts the cheater the most.

I don't know if I FULLY agree about the self esteem part. Not saying it's wrong, I just don't see it for myself. You're older than myself, and probably a bit more mature, so maybe that's why too.

BUT, I think it's personally best not to cheat on a girl for 2 reasons.

1. I go by the golden rule. I treat others he way I like to be treated and guess what? I wouldn't like the be cheated on so I just don't do it.

2. Reputation.

I take my reputaion VERY seriously. I have a rep as a no bull ****, straght to the point business type of guy who's a stand up guy. I'm good to my word, so why would I want to destroy that??

Any decent girl will be put off by a guy who has a cheating rep.

 

[MightyMate]

Reputation.. the thing is... If man cheat he has dope repuitation. If woman cheat shes a *****. DOnt You know that.

 

[SAYNO]

Originally posted by TheTrimReaper


I'm not going to let that keep me from enjoying my life though. I can't change how people are behaving. I'll just join them.

Don't think that my experience is the exception. I really don't think it is. And if you think that your girl is different and that she would never cheat on you, then you are one dumb SOB. I'll let you in on a secret. Every woman is like this. If you don't think so, then prove I'm wrong.

No, choose the harder route, Choose to be honest sincere and noble, those are they traits of a real man!



Sayno'

 

[KarmaSutra]

Originally posted by SAYNO
No, choose the harder route, Choose to be honest sincere and noble, those are they traits of a real man!



Sayno'

I agree.

Confucious say " He who smell finger after scratching dirtchute one nasty sumb1tch."


You learn more taking the harder route.

 

[MightyMate]

Bollox. Real man can cheat and not feel guilty.

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by MightyMate
Bollox. Real man can cheat and not feel guilty.

you're so evil and cold dude. i like you.

 

[MightyMate]

Merci

 

[darkstarrr]

Cheating doesnt hurt cheater the most. It hurts more to be cheaten if You dint cheat than to cheat. Trust me.

bump

Legendary thread minus the 3 previous posts.

If you were to graph the effects of cheating on a line chart, the cheater would suffer the most consequences over time - nice and steady like an ocean wave's wave. They always end up paying somehow. But the cheatee, as MightyMate describes suffers a huge spike. Although that pain and suffering is so intense, it does subside if you take the right steps to become a better person and to meet more suitable partners.


.......................^
....................../.\
...................../...\______(cheatee)
cheated on__/ dramatic spike of suffering


............................................/\../\../\../\
.........................................../..\/..\/..\/..\_(cheater)
maybe daddy wasn't there for her__/waves of suffering throughout life

 

[donif871]

this is a joke!!!!.. I've been cheated by woman i love so much..and it hurt like hell..so if you tell me the cheater hurt a lot more than me..that's a joke..if you been cheated before you'll know what phase you are going through :
1. denial part (can't believe it)..this is the part where you act like a fool, you defended the cheater in your mind (no this is not true she loves me)
2. anger part (this is the hell part..but what can you do..but take your sorry a** away)
3. hurt part...some people take a long time to be healed...to trust another again...

of course because this is the DJ forum, majority is a cheater (or have potential to be one)..this is a bad joke!!:kick:

 

[princelydeeds]

bump

Legendary thread minus the 3 previous posts.

If you were to graph the effects of cheating on a line chart, the cheater would suffer the most consequences over time - nice and steady like an ocean wave's wave. They always end up paying somehow. But the cheatee, as MightyMate describes suffers a huge spike. Although that pain and suffering is so intense, it does subside if you take the right steps to become a better person and to meet more suitable partners.

Wow I can't believe you actually typed out all of those lines, you must be bored as hell! I agree with MightyMate a man can cheat and feel nothing at all. I also don't agree that all cheating is the same. For instance, I was away on a business trip, I stopped in the hotel bar and there was a nice looking woman at the bar. We have a few drinks, share a few laughs and engage in an exciting stimulating conversation. It's getting late and I have an early morning flight. The woman is a slightly tipsy and so am I. She is totally diggin my Dj charm and I am totally digging the dumper on this chick who looks like Vida Guerra's twin sister (from the back). As she excuses herself to go into the empty hotel bathroom, feeling ****y and confident, I follow her into the stall. I then proceed to bend her over the toilet and pound that ass from Da' back! I flush the rubber (which I bought in a vending machine), pull up my pants, walk out of the bathroom, pay for the drinks (in cash) and go to bed so I can catch my 8 am flight.

Aside from telling my best friend a funny story, I have zero connection to this chick. We didn't even exchange numbers. Please explain how this hurts me, how this screws up my life and how this makes me need to tell a bunch of lies. I personally can walk away from the situation and outside of having a good memory never think about her again. Had I met the same woman every Wednesday night for 7 years, while my significant other thinks I'm at bible study, I can understand your case for lies and hurting yourself etc. A random fling IMHO can be totally harmless and I would even make the argument that in some cases, it helps people appreciate what they have at home.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

To quote one of my favorite books,

"But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then you shall pass into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears"

It's all in the frame, gentlemen. To those leading a life of excellence, love is a welcome addition but not a condition of happiness, nor companionship to the end of "survival". To many weak people, love and attention are almost a necessity of basic function. Women are well-represented among all forms of emotional parasite.

 

[sodbuster]

The only comment I have is marriage counseling only works if she is willing to listen and change.My wife didn't[either one] and I had a friend who agreed to counseling and she didn't even bother to show up. So, if you know yoyur wife won't listen, save the year and the money.

 

[princelydeeds]

After reading most of the posts on this thread, all I can say is wow you are an emotional lot!

 

[slaog]

Well said OP.


Some think it's perfectly ok to cheat. It is for them because thats the standards they have for themselves. They usually attract a similar standard woman. If you have high standards for yourself (as has already been said in this thread) you'll usually attract a similar high standard woman.

Aside from telling my best friend a funny story, I have zero connection to this chick. We didn't even exchange numbers. Please explain how this hurts me, how this screws up my life and how this makes me need to tell a bunch of lies. I personally can walk away from the situation and outside of having a good memory never think about her again. Had I met the same woman every Wednesday night for 7 years, while my significant other thinks I'm at bible study, I can understand your case for lies and hurting yourself etc. A random fling IMHO can be totally harmless and I would even make the argument that in some cases, it helps people appreciate what they have at home.

How would you feel if your wife was cheating on you? If you have zero connection to this woman why have sex with her? You ARE a liar and a cheat and cannot be trusted but you know that already.

Bollox. Real man can cheat and not feel guilty.

You can cheat and not feel guilty but thats not being a "real man". A real man has high standards and the strength not to sneak behind a womans back because he cannot control his d*ck.


I think some people are in denial about their actions.

 

[Lollita_Luvr]

Question from above: Does a man need to tell a woman why he is breaking up? Yes. The woman should get an answer. If you can't sit through women's tears or drama, you're a pus-y. I've been through a helluva lot more than women's tears in my life.

Just be a man. Cheating is the first sign of being a p-ssy.

Some options and ideas:

1. What's wrong with being alone?

2. Why get married if you want to play the field? Because society told you to get married? That's stupid. Society also says sitcoms and fast food should be consumed on a daily basis.

3. Why not date a ton of chicks and tell each one you're playing the field? You'll lose a lot of them, others it won't bother.

Why not just be a man and be honest? Either get married and be faithful or decide not to get married and play the field. I have more respect for hookers than I do people who cheat, I really do. The difference is the hooker is honest about who she is.

Just be honest and forthright -- why not?

Great post and so true.

With cheating, it gets easier the more you do it as with anything in life. The first time you cheat, you are schocked even at yourself... you think the whole world saw it happen. then as time goes on, you realise no body knows... so you cheat again. And again and again until it almost feels NORMAL to cheat.
Then suddenly you get busted by your wife or girlfriend and you dispise being yourself and hate the world... However, in many cases this hate comes from not feeling remorse but from actually getting caught. The person feels sorry for being caught not cheating.

Been there, done that. Never again.

If you want to be a PUA and lead that type of lifestyle, be honest and keep dating, dont get into serious relationships while you are a PUA.