Why blaming your race is stupid

[CornbreadFed]

Blaming your race for getting rejected is just a scarcity mindset in disguise, and it falls apart the moment you actually think it through.

Say a girl rejects you and brings up your race. Do you genuinely believe that if you woke up tomorrow as a different race, this same woman would suddenly be into you? And if a higher-SMV guy of your own race walked up to her, do you think she'd hit him with the same line? Be honest with yourself about which scenario is more likely.

The "JBW" thing also collapses the second you apply any context to it. Being white is meaningless if everyone around you is white. If you're a white guy in a 99% environment , what exactly is your race doing for you? It's the baseline. Ironically, the non-white guy in that environment probably has an easier time, because novelty works in his favor and he fits a specific interest some women have.

"But white guys clean up abroad." Okay, fair, I'll give you that one. But let's actually look at what you're flexing. You had to fly 13+ hours to get laid. The women you're pulling are often the ones local men passed on. They don't necessarily respect you, they see a foreigner with money. And on top of that, you're navigating a culture you don't really understand. Is that actually the W you think it is?

Bottom line: blaming your race is a cope. It's the most convenient excuse because it's the one thing you can't change, which conveniently means you never have to fix anything. More than likely, your game is bad, you're unattractive mentally and physically, and you've built a scarcity mindset that lets you off the hook.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Race and game can both be factors. Newsflash for the board: multiple things can be true at once.

The bigger issue may be - does clickbait headlining betray a deeper need for attention?

 

[Clockwerk50]

Race isn’t everything or an excuse, but pretending it has zero impact on attraction and preference is just as dishonest as reducing everything to it.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Race isn’t everything or an excuse, but pretending it has zero impact on attraction and preference is just as dishonest as reducing everything to it.

how much of a percentage would you say it has?

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi CornBread,
"But white guys clean up abroad." Okay, fair, I'll give you that one. But let's actually look at what you're flexing. You had to fly 13+ hours to get laid. The women you're pulling are often the ones local men passed on. They don't necessarily respect you, they see a foreigner with money. And on top of that, you're navigating a culture you don't really understand. Is that actually the W you think it is? "
Yes quite so,but in the Philippines,I found a genuine admiration for Whites.Talking across the pillow one night my dusky consort told me,When I was a little Girl Scarra,I had a lovely litttle Dolly with Blue eyes like yours...When I have another Baby I want it it to have those blue eyes and blonde hair then grow to be six foot tall.

 

[corrector]

Blaming your race for getting rejected is just a scarcity mindset in disguise, and it falls apart the moment you actually think it through.

Say a girl rejects you and brings up your race. Do you genuinely believe that if you woke up tomorrow as a different race, this same woman would suddenly be into you? And if a higher-SMV guy of your own race walked up to her, do you think she'd hit him with the same line? Be honest with yourself about which scenario is more likely.

The "JBW" thing also collapses the second you apply any context to it. Being white is meaningless if everyone around you is white. If you're a white guy in a 99% environment , what exactly is your race doing for you? It's the baseline. Ironically, the non-white guy in that environment probably has an easier time, because novelty works in his favor and he fits a specific interest some women have.

"But white guys clean up abroad." Okay, fair, I'll give you that one. But let's actually look at what you're flexing. You had to fly 13+ hours to get laid. The women you're pulling are often the ones local men passed on. They don't necessarily respect you, they see a foreigner with money. And on top of that, you're navigating a culture you don't really understand. Is that actually the W you think it is?

Bottom line: blaming your race is a cope. It's the most convenient excuse because it's the one thing you can't change, which conveniently means you never have to fix anything. More than likely, your game is bad, you're unattractive mentally and physically, and you've built a scarcity mindset that lets you off the hook.

Do you think the reality of dating and social dynamics in the 2020s, especially post-pandemic, is exactly the same as it was in the late 2010s?

Speaking personally, I felt more tension around feeling excluded because of race earlier in life. But something changed during and after the pandemic. At least from my own experience, it feels less central than before.

Also, looking online, some of the narratives people pushed heavily in prior years don't seem as universally true anymore. Even discussions around things like certain foreign dating dynamics or "rock star treatment" abroad seem to have changed compared to what people described years ago.

Maybe social media changed. Maybe culture shifted. Maybe people changed. But it does make me wonder whether some older dating advice or assumptions belong more to a previous era than people realize.

 

[corrector]

how much of a percentage would you say it has?

It’s hard to put a clean percentage on it because race matters differently depending on the environment, culture, and individual woman.

I don’t think race explains every rejection, and I agree it can become a convenient excuse if a guy leans on it too much. But I also don’t think it’s honest to say it has zero effect. There are contexts where racial preferences or exclusions are openly stated, and other contexts where they’re more subtle.

So I’d frame it less as “race is the reason” and more as “race can be one variable among several.” The danger is making it the whole explanation, because then a guy stops looking at things he can actually improve.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Corrector,
Yes and sometimes your race can work for you,way down here,Afro Guys are flavour of the month LOL.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Do you think the reality of dating and social dynamics in the 2020s, especially post-pandemic, is exactly the same as it was in the late 2010s?

I think it is harder for the average guy with a passive introverted mindset, but easier for guys that know what they are doing.

 

[CornbreadFed]

It’s hard to put a clean percentage on it because race matters differently depending on the environment, culture, and individual woman.

I don’t think race explains every rejection, and I agree it can become a convenient excuse if a guy leans on it too much. But I also don’t think it’s honest to say it has zero effect. There are contexts where racial preferences or exclusions are openly stated, and other contexts where they’re more subtle.

So I’d frame it less as “race is the reason” and more as “race can be one variable among several.” The danger is making it the whole explanation, because then a guy stops looking at things he can actually improve.

I think that variable is too small to have a concern over. Let’s say a woman does reject me because I’m black. It’s not like she’s going to date any random white guy that approaches her. Under the right circumstances, if a good looking black dude enters her social circle, is she going to tell him the same thing? More than likely, she’s never been with a black dude and isn’t willing to try anything new at the random moment you approached her. Most People are going to be reluctant on leaving their comfort zones in general. If you are choosing to date outside your race then network/social circle game should be prioritized over cold approaching and OLD.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Blaming your race for getting rejected is just a scarcity mindset in disguise,

Should I blame somebody else's race?

 

[Bokanovsky]

Race and game can both be factors. Newsflash for the board: multiple things can be true at once.

The bigger issue may be - does clickbait headlining betray a deeper need for attention?

Another question ponder: if one is disgusted by his own race (and therefore insists on dating other races), does it betray a serious psychological condition?

 

[BaronOfHair]

Depending on where you're at, SOME demographics can face added difficulties. Example(s):

Here in The US, East Asian/to a degree "South Asian" men are stereotyped a nerdy and effeminate, while dark skinned women of Sub-Saharan ancestry are often not depicted especially favorably in popular culture, thus the notion of of being "alight if you light", being eligible to "stick around" if you're of a browner shade

As you say though, @CornbreadFed there've ALWAYS been folks who succeed at being hailed as sexy and desirable, despite such obstacles: A man of Japanese ancestry was Hollywood's first heart throb, predating Rudolfo Valentino https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sessue_Hayakawa He achieved this feat back in the early 20th Century, when our society was racist on a scale unimaginable to most folks today. The barbarically forgotten Russel Wong achieved hunk status in The 90s, and Drew Koji is doing likewise today. Naomi Campbell became the world's first black supermodel, despite her exceptionally swarthy complexion

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Another question ponder: if one is disgusted by his own race (and therefore insists on dating other races), does it betray a serious psychological condition?

Ya, the lack of willingness to question what you're told, which results in severe brainwashing

 

[plumber]

race includes a rather large list of common attributes. what are the attributes that are so interesting? is is behavior, or physical ?

the list of excuse is long, short, bald, race, money, luck, gender, the list has no end....

evolution does not care about any excuses. there is no court or trial. the judge is survival.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Another question ponder: if one is disgusted by his own race (and therefore insists on dating other races), does it betray a serious psychological condition?

I'm of Pakistani and Hispanic descent, and I'm-generally speaking-not especially drawn to Subcontinental women. My psychology is dark and twisted in many respects, nonetheless self-hate has never been among my flaws... Being of the increasingly antiquated mindset that one's ethnic make-up is immaterial to whoever you are in the present day no doubt ensures this

 

[CornbreadFed]

I also forgot to add that when you are blaming your race, then your self esteem and confidence are just always going to be crap.

 

[Gamisch]

Your race can definitely affect your dating chances, but I also agree that it mostly comes down to the infamous " grass is greener " syndrome.

But here's the thing: Black men (unlike other races) have a niche problem. As a white guy you can be a ; geeky/ nerdy, surfer/ stoner, trust fund finance guy, Arnold swarz, skater hiphopper, fat ,skinny, broke, short.

An arab guy can be fat and ugly and yet his parents will " fix" him a wife somehow. Clearly religion triumphs all other aspects. Indian and Asian dudes? When was the last time you've seen a ripped tall dude holding hands with a asian /Indian woman?

A black dude? You can be a streetguy or a successful guy but thats it. No real room for anything else. Try to be a geeky black guy and see how you're chance of being an incrl increases significantly...

Even women who like black guys oftentimes have a clear prejudice about HOW a black man should look/ act/ talk. That's why so many black men adopted the gangster persona, because its the easiest way to get laid as a black dude.

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Having said that, I remember seeing a video( can't find it anymore) from a nerdy black guy saying he lost his V card by going to a hooker..he was around 21. He was tired of being ignored by women, and tbh he was the geeky looking guy with a clear depression . Prostitution was his only way out...and it didn't help him feel any better offcourse..

 

[Gamisch]

Another thing: its the black women that determine what and how black men present themselves!

Black men are the only race that are MORE sought after when they go to prison!!!


That's some sick shyte!!! Let's take one generic black woman for example. She will rather drive a couple of hours to be with a prisoner instead of building a life with a serious, disciplined man. I have NEVER seen an Indian, white, or asain woman say that " those prison guys are doing better than yall n-gg-z who are free".

 

[Clockwerk50]

how much of a percentage would you say it has?

Race is part of the looks and personality categories. You can include nationality there as well. I would say about 20%–30%.