Why are Women Opting Out of Marriage Around the World?

[inquisitor]

The greatest minds have never been women.

No, there are women who are also the greatest minds. There's Judit Polgar in chess.

Otherwise, I agree with all you said.

 

[LTG71]

We have removed the religious and societal pressures that used to drive marriage and now we have a "free market" and are seeing the chaos that results from a free-for-all.

1. The lesser men struggle in these conditions.
2. The best men get the best women, and they don't have to marry if they don't want to. He can easily find another one if he has to.
3. Children aren't raised in two parent households and it shows.
4. The cost of living increases because now you raise children in two houses instead of one.
5. The rate of population growth is declining which will eventually lead to population decline.
6. Women still struggle to figure out what they want.
7. Its harder to save and build wealth/retirement when you live as single vs. married.


Religion did a pretty good job creating the structure that helped guide folks in their personal life as well as their business. The more we get away from it, the more problems we have. The United States is a great example. This country was founded on christian principles, and prospered. What you are seeing now is what happens when you get away from that.

Why are women opting out? Because they think their life will be better without.......... But, The greatest minds have never been women.

Agree. Religion helped keep people in check. There were standards for men and women to follow to ultimately form a family unit and build a respectful and moral society. Other people and a higher power were “watching” your behavior and it was shameful to not follow the moral code. Now we have a free-for-all. Everyone can do whatever they want, ironically the freedom brings more misery, chaos and discontent.

Are women more happy now? If your quality of life is dictated solely by the cost of your handbag, your life is going to pretty shallow and unfulfilling. Better buy a big bag so you can carry around your cat and bottle of wine.

 

[Dash Riprock]

No, there are women who are also the greatest minds. There's Judit Polgar in chess.

Otherwise, I agree with all you said.

Women Can Do Anything Men Can Do...according to Daniel Tosh

 

[Lotus Effect]

Very insightful thread

 

[Snag87]

No it has not. I suggest you do some deep research into how marriage originated. It was essentially a business deal that was in place to give the wife and her family security and safety since they had no ability to work jobs or earn income most times. Men got sex and a rightful their out of the deal.

Yes, the primary purpose of marriage has always been financial protection for women and their children. Historically there's been no advantage to marriage for men, other than the fact it's better for their children. Which I suppose is a huge benefit, considering how devoted parents typically are to their offspring.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

Agree. Religion helped keep people in check. There were standards for men and women to follow to ultimately form a family unit and build a respectful and moral society. Other people and a higher power were “watching” your behavior and it was shameful to not follow the moral code. Now we have a free-for-all. Everyone can do whatever they want, ironically the freedom brings more misery, chaos and discontent.

Are women more happy now? If your quality of life is dictated solely by the cost of your handbag, your life is going to pretty shallow and unfulfilling. Better buy a big bag so you can carry around your cat and bottle of wine.

I won't contest that values have drastically shifted. Although I attribute this more to societal shifts. I grew up to religion and church in general being more strict (seemingly) than the Jedi order. I feel more welcome in church now than I did then, despite where I stand now, even openly to those within the church.

Although certain things I think religions and congregations shouldn't have "compromised" on in their necessitous changes to not overly shun people from what was then trying to pretend you agree with every strict "rule" not even found in scripture was family values. As far as who is in charge of what and what the responsibilities are. For a relationship as we traditionally understand it, it's hard to beat the generally accepted example. THAT is where I will agree on it being related to religion.

Religion or lack thereof I don't agree is where a scale of morality originates or ends. Not to derail the thread. Just saying. Even much of what is encouraged for learning to become a Don Juan is considered immoral if we're really being transparent.

I believe the root of it does deal with a man being rudderless. Men not being taught how to BE men in the first place due to single mothers trying to teach what they can't pass on is a chief concern. I suppose it is fair to suggest that a lack of outward or otherworldly inspiration to drive yourself toward (God, or the existence of a supreme being) can exacerbate difficulties in building future hearth, home, and family.

Speaking of Jedi, one could claim that the "Force" will guide you if you meditate on the good and beware of the dark will lead you to better decisions and a more ethical moral compass. Several religious zealots have often used their beliefs to not only commit to immoral acts, but also brazenly defend them.

The lack of men in the eyes of women who are purpose driven and can provide masculine explanations or bring order to all of the drama and chaos she experiences is central to a romantic relationship experience to a woman. In my honest opinion. When women can't find this in a man, who can blame her for not wanting to marry said man who can't do this?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Why More Women Are Choosing to Stay Single Now

Reframing cope.

More and more women are realizing that nobody wants them.

At least nobody in their delusional fantasy target range.

Reason?

Social media.

Modern women get plenty of easy attention on social media from dudes who'd happily bang them, but they mistakenly believe this translates into long term relationships with high quality men in the real world.

They realize this isn't possible, and then to protect their ego, pretend it's their choice to stay single.

 

[OngBak]

Most woman I encountered especially during my studies are unpleasant, I never liked one at all during that time. Not even in a way that I would spend my time talking with them or make myself approachable. I agree though that majority of the woman aren't really marriage material nowadays

But keep in mind that woman are not the only reason, economical and from that resulting financial difficulties can contribute to the decrease

 

[Bokanovsky]

I think that nearly every woman wants to get married, in principle. The reason why women are "opting out" is primarily related to socially distorted gender dynamics. There is a disconnect between the kind of man a typical woman wants marry and the kind of man that she actually can marry. Put another way, modern women are delusional. They've been incessantly brainwashed with the idea that they don't need to "settle". Combine that with fact that most women nowadays are financially self-sufficient and the incentive to marry the "average Joe" is all but gone.

 

[Slowhandluke]

I think that nearly every woman wants to get married, in principle. The reason why women are "opting out" is primarily related to socially distorted gender dynamics. There is a disconnect between the kind of man a typical woman wants marry and the kind of man that she actually can marry. Put another way, modern women are delusional. They've been incessantly brainwashed with the idea that they don't need to "settle". Combine that with fact that most women nowadays are financially self-sufficient and the incentive to marry the "average Joe" is all but gone.

holeflation -- society is allowing chads to sleep with average women increasing women's sense of worth (dating wise).

in the past, society looked down on dating arround/ sleeping arround. An attractive man wouldn't give an average women a second look (or give her any ideas that she was at his level if he wasn't interested). He stayed in his own lane, dated women he truly was interested in which in all likelihood was at his level of attractiveness.

Women in the past had a better guage of how attractive they were. now average women think they are a 10 because chad/tyron/Juan gave the "magic juice".

I think its called being alpha widowed. once a person drives a mercedes/Bentley, going back to a Honda is hard..

 

[Snag87]

holeflation -- society is allowing chads to sleep with average women increasing women's sense of worth (dating wise).

in the past, society looked down on dating arround/ sleeping arround. An attractive man wouldn't give an average women a second look (or give her any ideas that she was at his level if he wasn't interested). He stayed in his own lane, dated women he truly was interested in which in all likelihood was at his level of attractiveness.

Women in the past had a better guage of how attractive they were. now average women think they are a 10 because chad/tyron/Juan gave the "magic juice".

I think its called being alpha widowed. once a person drives a mercedes/Bentley, going back to a Honda is hard..

Yes, “alpha widowed” is the terminology.

Many women simply don’t understand the gap in SMV between a woman a high SMV man will have casual intercourse with and one they’ll commit to.

 

[Bokanovsky]

holeflation -- society is allowing chads to sleep with average women increasing women's sense of worth (dating wise).

in the past, society looked down on dating arround/ sleeping arround. An attractive man wouldn't give an average women a second look (or give her any ideas that she was at his level if he wasn't interested). He stayed in his own lane, dated women he truly was interested in which in all likelihood was at his level of attractiveness.

Women in the past had a better guage of how attractive they were. now average women think they are a 10 because chad/tyron/Juan gave the "magic juice".

I think its called being alpha widowed. once a person drives a mercedes/Bentley, going back to a Honda is hard..

I'm skeptical of the "alpha widow" theory. By all accounts, young people today are having less casual sex than their counterparts did in the 60s, 70s and 80s. And yet, marriage rates continue to plummet. I also don't subscribe to the idea that "chads" are out there sleeping with massive numbers of average and below average women. That's simply inconsistent with what I observe in the real world. Most chads are sleeping or trying to sleep with hot chicks, not plain jane HR managers and elementary school teachers. I'm sure it happens occasionally, but it's not really a widespread phenomenon.

The delusion that modern women suffer from is not the result of being alpha-widowed by some Chad, Juan, Tyrone, Hao or Vishal. It is entirely socially constructed.

 

[Slowhandluke]

I'm skeptical of the "alpha widow" theory. By all accounts, young people today are having less casual sex than their counterparts did in the 60s, 70s and 80s. And yet, marriage rates continue to plummet. I also don't subscribe to the idea that "chads" are out there sleeping with massive numbers of average and below average women. That's simply inconsistent with what I observe in the real world. Most chads are sleeping or trying to sleep with hot chicks, not plain jane HR managers and elementary school teachers. I'm sure it happens occasionally, but it's not really a widespread phenomenon.

The delusion that modern women suffer from is not the result of being alpha-widowed by some Chad, Juan, Tyrone, Hao or Vishal. It is entirely socially constructed.

Average men are having less sex as compared to the past. Radically less.. They are even dating less. And a lot more of them are still virgins..

More chads are having MORE sex.. More women are having more sex WITH different partners as compared to the past.

Yes, in total there is less sex, but the sex people are having are usually between different combinations of average women and highly attractive men... Basically, the number of sex partners are way, WAY up, for any given girl and for any given "hot" guy.

Sex between committed people (those leading to marriage) is way way down. In the past, this is what constituted most of the sex that was happening. That was why there was more sex in the past.

in the past, the number of partners for the average person was 2 to 3. Heck, I'm so old I can still remember girls even saving themselves for marriage and guys who said they would only marry a virgin. Now that number is in the teens or higher?? especially since people who do marry now a days, marry later...

 

[Bokanovsky]

More chads are having MORE sex.. More women are having more sex WITH different partners as compared to the past.

Is there any actual evidence to support this hypothesis?

 

[Slowhandluke]

Is there any actual evidence to support this hypothesis?

yes, but I'm to lazy to look it up...if you dont believe me, that's fine. if you think women and highly attractive guys have a lower body count as compared to the past... well, good for you pass me what you are smoking

ps. Google something like university studies, dating, attractiveness, etc..

 

[Bokanovsky]

yes, but I'm to lazy to look it up...if you dont believe me, that's fine. if you think women and highly attractive guys have a lower body count as compared to the past... well, good for you pass me what you are smoking

ps. Google something like university studies, dating, attractiveness, etc..

Your hypothesis sounds plausible. But just because something is plausible doesn't mean it's true. Personally, I like to base my opinions on more than just hypotheses. In the absence of scientific data, I have to rely on my lived experience. And none of the chads I've know in real life showed any particular interest in sleeping with large numbers of average and substandard women.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Your hypothesis sounds plausible. But just because something is plausible doesn't mean it's true. Personally, I like to base my opinions on more than just hypotheses. In the absence of scientific data, I have to rely on my lived experience. And none of the chads I've know in real life showed any particular interest in sleeping with large numbers of average and substandard women.

why would any attractive man tell people that he has a side piece... or multiple side pieces? Dating and preferences are a highly researched topic. Did you know they did research on kids and biological fathers? After the DNA technology was available, they found out like 20% of kids did not actually come from their "father", but from another man that was not the husband of the kids mom.

people are sneaky... people are emotional... they hide stuff... especially to their neighbors and friends esp things that make themselves look bad. its human nature.


i worked for a large consulting once. i thought it was a respectablecompany and my dept was very professional - with professional people and my boss was awesome.

After i left the company after working for a year for better opportunities and a chance to stay closer to family, I talked to an employee who was "in the know with hr.". we were drinking together.

He told me a few things:

My boss was acused of sexual misconduct multiple of times. The company had to payout a few hundred thousand to keep things wuiet because he was important to the company. 80% of the people in the marketing side were sleeping with each other, etc.. etc...

I was floored.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513804000765

 

[Bokanovsky]

why would any attractive man tell people that he has a side piece... or multiple side pieces? Dating and preferences are a highly researched topic. Did you know they did research on kids and biological fathers? After the DNA technology was available, they found out like 20% of kids did not actually come from their "father", but from another man that was not the husband of the kids mom.

people are sneaky... people are emotional... they hide stuff... especially to their neighbors and friends esp things that make themselves look bad. its human nature.


i worked for a large consulting once. i thought it was a respectablecompany and my dept was very professional - with professional people and my boss was awesome.

After i left the company after working for a year for better opportunities and a chance to stay closer to family, I talked to an employee who was "in the know with hr.". we were drinking together.

He told me a few things:

My boss was acused of sexual misconduct multiple of times. The company had to payout a few hundred thousand to keep things wuiet because he was important to the company. 80% of the people in the marketing side were sleeping with each other, etc.. etc...

I was floored.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513804000765

But what does any of this have to do with your hypothesis? Was your boss a chad who slept with average and ugly subordinates? That would be highly unusual. Typically, it's the other way around. Average and below average men in positions of power try to use their authority to sleep wth hot women who wouldn't otherwise give them the time of day.

 

[Slowhandluke]

But what does any of this have to do with your hypothesis?

nothing, you win

Was your boss a chad who slept with average and ugly subordinates? That would be highly unusual. Typically, it's the other way around.

tell that to arnold schwarzenegger or hugh grant... but ok, you win on this point too...

Average and below average men in positions of power try to use their authority to sleep wth hot women who wouldn't otherwise give them the time of day.

gotta go... good luck with your hypothesis

 

[Bokanovsky]

nothing, you win




tell that to arnold schwarzenegger or hugh grant... but ok, you win on this point too...



gotta go... good luck with your hypothesis

I'm not trying to "win", I thought we were having an interesting conversation. Anyway, we'll have to agree to disagree on this one.