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Why are Women Opting Out of Marriage Around the World?

BadBoy89

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Article below


News headlines such as “Why More Women Are Choosing to Stay Single Now,” “Craving Freedom, Japan’s Women Opt Out of Marriage,” “Nearly Half of Canadians Feel ‘Marriage is Simply Not Necessary,’” and “Chileans are Marrying Less and Later,” would make it seem marriage is at a risk of survival all over the world.

The numbers back up that assertion. In the United States, the median age of first marriage has risen from a 1956 low of 20.1 for women and 22.5 for men to 27.1 for women and 29.2 for men in 2016. The trend is global, too. Currently, 89% of the world’s population lives in a country with falling marriage rates.

Dinah Hannaford, associate professor of anthropology at the University of Houston, and her colleagues in anthropology were unsatisfied with the journalistic accounts and books on the matter, many of which focused on the U.S., and desired to dig deeper into this issue in the best way they knew how: through ethnographic accounts from women across the globe. This meant documenting the lives and marriages of women over the course of several years, and in many cases, decades.

Dinah Hannaford is associate professor of anthropology at the University of Houston. Hannaford uses fine-grained ethnography to offer fresh insights into the conditions, challenges and opportunities of the 21st century.

“We as anthropologists have more context and history of the culture to see what this is all about. We can connect these stories to bigger trends and changes in societies in these countries,” said Hannaford, co-editor of the new book “Opting Out: Women Messing with Marriage around the World.”

The researchers identified several reasons why more and more women are choosing not to get married including infidelity, increasing career opportunities and independence, and finding more security living with their parents and siblings.

“Marriage has mostly not been a great situation for women historically and across the world, and they’re trying to find alternative solutions. As new opportunities open up for women to be full people without it, they’re opting for that,”
Hannaford said.

Among the women studied were those in the small eastern Caribbean country of Barbados who chose not to remarry following their divorces, despite societal pressure and their peers’ high view of marriage. For years, anthropologist Carla Freeman studied Black families, who make up the racial majority in the country. Those families are mostly matrifocal, meaning the mother is the head of the household, and many of those mothers are unwed.

White women in Barbados live in a paradigm where they are seen as "both the symbols and guardians of the powerful and elusive value complex of respectability” in the country. Most white women are assumed to be married.

Freeman followed three white Barbadian women for decades, some since they were young newlyweds. Each of their marriages ended in divorce. For two of the women, their divorces were due in part to infidelity.

Lilliana, one of the women, said, “I am seeing more women, professional women, that are choosing to be single, because they are finding that it’s so difficult to have faithful partners or people that are their intellectual equal.... As women become more empowered and work, they don’t have to put up with [the outside women and children].”

The women come to find purpose and meaning through their children, extended family, hobbies, business and social justice causes. Although their feelings vacillate from loneliness to frustration, they remain steadfast in their decision not to remarry. Freeman writes, “the economic vulnerability they face with divorce, along with the loneliness and social marginality they sometimes feel, sharpens their reliance upon and appreciation for their extended networks of kin and female friends.”

Interestingly, these women come to reflect the independence and matrifocality of their Black counterparts.

The work examines women who never married at all, those who divorced or became widowed and did not want to remarry, and women within a marriage who worked to make the institution a more rewarding enterprise for both parties. For example, strategically marrying husbands who spend most of their time abroad for work so that women have the respectability of being married but avoid the day-to-day obligations of having a husband.

“Anthropologists are so focused on lineage and marriage, we don’t think about how friendship plays a really important role in everyone’s lives,” Hannaford said.

She and her team also found strong ties to women’s natal families. In many of the societies they studied, when women had the option of staying with their own family rather than move in with a husband, they preferred staying because they trusted their family never to abandon, cheat or swindle them.

Hannaford clarifies that the work does not praise women for opting out of marriage, instead it’s “an invitation to think about what we missed as anthropologists by being so focused on marriage as the norm and good and natural outcome.

-------------------

Thoughts?
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Slowhandluke

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women are getting alpha widowed... and wouldnt tamper their expectations... the majority of women think they are the top10% of women...just because chad dating them for. while...
 

Gamisch

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Marriage always been more advantageous to men. Before dna was a thing, Marriage was sort of the best way to kinda guarantee your offspring is actually yours.

It also helped to contain the devil within women and kept their bodycount to a minimum. Marriage is heavily linked to religion, and religion is heavily associated with controlling women.

So imo the most beneficial were men. You can clearly see what happens when you actually let both genders decide for themselves; 65% of men become completely invisible on the dating market.

Now ofcourse men want Marriage to return. It means no more dates with no result, more social pressure on women, and a more' fair" spread of who actually gets some( p00sy)

Men are the ones mostly opting out. Far and away more than women are. Need proof? Go take a cursory glance at r/Waiting_To_Wed
The only thing women really want is the ceremony. The whole idea is she gets to wear that type of dress " once" whereas a man can literally wear a suite every day.

In my life I've always seen men being way more keen on marriage than women. Men believe the game ends there. It's literally like going to the casino and putting all your chips on red, but you won't win double your money: it's simply doesn't get sliced in half IF you win.

If the biggest win in a battle is not losing its the wrong battle imo.
 

Westminster

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In other words, women want a wedding not a marriage. With men it's often vice versa.
 

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

BackInTheGame78

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Marriage always been more advantageous to men. Before dna was a thing, Marriage was sort of the best way to kinda guarantee your offspring is actually yours.

It also helped to contain the devil within women and kept their bodycount to a minimum. Marriage is heavily linked to religion, and religion is heavily associated with controlling women.

So imo the most beneficial were men. You can clearly see what happens when you actually let both genders decide for themselves; 65% of men become completely invisible on the dating market.

Now ofcourse men want Marriage to return. It means no more dates with no result, more social pressure on women, and a more' fair" spread of who actually gets some( p00sy)


The only thing women really want is the ceremony. The whole idea is she gets to wear that type of dress " once" whereas a man can literally wear a suite every day.

In my life I've always seen men being way more keen on marriage than women. Men believe the game ends there. It's literally like going to the casino and putting all your chips on red, but you won't win double your money: it's simply doesn't get sliced in half IF you win.

If the biggest win in a battle is not losing its the wrong battle imo.
No it has not. I suggest you do some deep research into how marriage originated. It was essentially a business deal that was in place to give the wife and her family security and safety since they had no ability to work jobs or earn income most times. Men got sex and a rightful their out of the deal.
 

Manure Spherian

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Marriage always been more advantageous to men. Before dna was a thing, Marriage was sort of the best way to kinda guarantee your offspring is actually yours.

It also helped to contain the devil within women and kept their bodycount to a minimum. Marriage is heavily linked to religion, and religion is heavily associated with controlling women.

So imo the most beneficial were men. You can clearly see what happens when you actually let both genders decide for themselves; 65% of men become completely invisible on the dating market.

Now ofcourse men want Marriage to return. It means no more dates with no result, more social pressure on women, and a more' fair" spread of who actually gets some( p00sy)


The only thing women really want is the ceremony. The whole idea is she gets to wear that type of dress " once" whereas a man can literally wear a suite every day.

In my life I've always seen men being way more keen on marriage than women. Men believe the game ends there. It's literally like going to the casino and putting all your chips on red, but you won't win double your money: it's simply doesn't get sliced in half IF you win.

If the biggest win in a battle is not losing its the wrong battle imo.
Marriage’s foremost purpose is establishing fatherhood. Without marriage there is no fatherhood.

There is the matriarchy—the ghetto!

Men on here should be grateful for the matriarchy.
 

inquisitor

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Simplest answer: women are being brainwashed.

Also, the more you think about it, the more you believe it as the main answer.
 

Manure Spherian

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Simplest answer: women are being brainwashed.

Also, the more you think about it, the more you believe it as the main answer.
Isn’t that good? Why the heck would seducers want everyone being married?
 

Gamisch

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No it has not. I suggest you do some deep research into how marriage originated. It was essentially a business deal that was in place to give the wife and her family security and safety since they had no ability to work jobs or earn income most times. Men got sex and a rightful their out of the deal.
That is not true. Depending on the culture and the specific era I geuss you can always find some examples, but women have always worked.

Even young children had to work. Maybe during the golden era women were excluded from working, but this era in just a flash in the pan compared to thousands of years. Women have been always been in armies as well.

I'm curious where you get your sources from.
Marriage’s foremost purpose is establishing fatherhood. Without marriage there is no fatherhood.

There is the matriarchy—the ghetto!

Men on here should be grateful for the matriarchy.
I disagree

And that's the reason why the topic is what it is ; because women clearly don't need marriage to be mothers ,nor do men need it to be fathers. Sex is a natural thing, the outco( kids ) as well. Bit the divorce rates combined with the title of this thread tell me that marriage isn't necessarily natural.


It's a social fairytale. Imo it might have its benefits, no doubt. But eventually society can and will move on without it.

It's not like places where marriage is mandatory are more prosperous by default. Think Islamic cultures, perhaps India. But I said before that we're entering an era where men want Marriage to make a great comeback because otherwise men lose BIG TIME.

Most men I know that we're or are eager to get married also struggle with women the most...I'm talking 85/ 90%.
 

Manure Spherian

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because women clearly don't need marriage to be mothers
Right, they don't.

nor do men need it to be fathers.
Actually they do.

The mother-child dyad is biological. The father-child dyad is social; hence it needs institutions that enforce it. Without custody to a child, a man is a mere sperm donor with no rights.

If there are no matrimonial laws, there are no fathers (see Thomas Hobbes, Daniel Amneus, Margaret Mead). Not only did Mead say that fatherhood is a social construct, but a social accident!

Currently we have a divorce regime (run by feminist men and women) hell bent on destroying fathers.

Most men I know that we're or are eager to get married also struggle with women the most...I'm talking 85/ 90%.
That's not surprising considering this day and age. Without the institution of monogamous marriage (an institution currently in shambles), many men are left without women because of the resulting informal polygamy, which, without the constant buzzes of the internet, drug, and porn, would have disastrous consequences.
 

MatureDJ

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Article below


News headlines such as “Why More Women Are Choosing to Stay Single Now,” “Craving Freedom, Japan’s Women Opt Out of Marriage,” “Nearly Half of Canadians Feel ‘Marriage is Simply Not Necessary,’” and “Chileans are Marrying Less and Later,” would make it seem marriage is at a risk of survival all over the world.

The numbers back up that assertion. In the United States, the median age of first marriage has risen from a 1956 low of 20.1 for women and 22.5 for men to 27.1 for women and 29.2 for men in 2016. The trend is global, too. Currently, 89% of the world’s population lives in a country with falling marriage rates.

Dinah Hannaford, associate professor of anthropology at the University of Houston, and her colleagues in anthropology were unsatisfied with the journalistic accounts and books on the matter, many of which focused on the U.S., and desired to dig deeper into this issue in the best way they knew how: through ethnographic accounts from women across the globe. This meant documenting the lives and marriages of women over the course of several years, and in many cases, decades.

Dinah Hannaford is associate professor of anthropology at the University of Houston. Hannaford uses fine-grained ethnography to offer fresh insights into the conditions, challenges and opportunities of the 21st century.

“We as anthropologists have more context and history of the culture to see what this is all about. We can connect these stories to bigger trends and changes in societies in these countries,” said Hannaford, co-editor of the new book “Opting Out: Women Messing with Marriage around the World.”

The researchers identified several reasons why more and more women are choosing not to get married including infidelity, increasing career opportunities and independence, and finding more security living with their parents and siblings.

“Marriage has mostly not been a great situation for women historically and across the world, and they’re trying to find alternative solutions. As new opportunities open up for women to be full people without it, they’re opting for that,”
Hannaford said.

Among the women studied were those in the small eastern Caribbean country of Barbados who chose not to remarry following their divorces, despite societal pressure and their peers’ high view of marriage. For years, anthropologist Carla Freeman studied Black families, who make up the racial majority in the country. Those families are mostly matrifocal, meaning the mother is the head of the household, and many of those mothers are unwed.

White women in Barbados live in a paradigm where they are seen as "both the symbols and guardians of the powerful and elusive value complex of respectability” in the country. Most white women are assumed to be married.

Freeman followed three white Barbadian women for decades, some since they were young newlyweds. Each of their marriages ended in divorce. For two of the women, their divorces were due in part to infidelity.

Lilliana, one of the women, said, “I am seeing more women, professional women, that are choosing to be single, because they are finding that it’s so difficult to have faithful partners or people that are their intellectual equal.... As women become more empowered and work, they don’t have to put up with [the outside women and children].”

The women come to find purpose and meaning through their children, extended family, hobbies, business and social justice causes. Although their feelings vacillate from loneliness to frustration, they remain steadfast in their decision not to remarry. Freeman writes, “the economic vulnerability they face with divorce, along with the loneliness and social marginality they sometimes feel, sharpens their reliance upon and appreciation for their extended networks of kin and female friends.”

Interestingly, these women come to reflect the independence and matrifocality of their Black counterparts.

The work examines women who never married at all, those who divorced or became widowed and did not want to remarry, and women within a marriage who worked to make the institution a more rewarding enterprise for both parties. For example, strategically marrying husbands who spend most of their time abroad for work so that women have the respectability of being married but avoid the day-to-day obligations of having a husband.

“Anthropologists are so focused on lineage and marriage, we don’t think about how friendship plays a really important role in everyone’s lives,” Hannaford said.

She and her team also found strong ties to women’s natal families. In many of the societies they studied, when women had the option of staying with their own family rather than move in with a husband, they preferred staying because they trusted their family never to abandon, cheat or swindle them.

Hannaford clarifies that the work does not praise women for opting out of marriage, instead it’s “an invitation to think about what we missed as anthropologists by being so focused on marriage as the norm and good and natural outcome.

-------------------

Thoughts?
Women that have been married shouldn't count in the "not wanting to get married" population.
 

Hal9000

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Women have been convinced that they exist on this planet to buy handbags and drink wine. This occurred as societies in general became less religious. The areas where birthrates are still high are among the most religious in the world and a key tenant of any religion is to go forth and multiply. Now that modern women aren't religious they see children as nothing more than an impediment to a closet full of Louis Vuitton and Chanel. Non-religious men are also responsible to some degree but a society where women dont want to reproduce will eventually cease to exist. Its simple math.
 

Clockwerk50

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Women have been convinced that they exist on this planet to buy handbags and drink wine. This occurred as societies in general became less religious. The areas where birthrates are still high are among the most religious in the world and a key tenant of any religion is to go forth and multiply. Now that modern women aren't religious they see children as nothing more than an impediment to a closet full of Louis Vuitton and Chanel. Non-religious men are also responsible to some degree but a society where women dont want to reproduce will eventually cease to exist. Its simple math.
The thing about religion is that it gave people a sense of duty. It framed having children as an obligation to God, to society, and to the continuation of the community, even if it required personal sacrifice or hardship.

Today, having children is a massive financial, time, and lifestyle cost that can significantly lower your standard of living. Many middle-class and well-off people simply don’t want to make that compromise. On top of that, the old support systems are gone, as families have become more nuclear and the extended society that once helped raise children has largely disappeared, meaning childcare and support now have to be paid for. Basically, birth rates started declining as soon as people had a choice. We moved away from the influence of the Catholic Church and gave people the opportunity to make that choice for a reason.

Personally, I am okay with people choosing not to have children. When people are already spending most of their day working, sometimes with side jobs just to keep up, it’s not surprising that many see raising children as taking on a second full-time job. I also understand that declining marriage rates, more single people, male infertility, and modern work expectations are also factors.
 

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Gamisch

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Right, they don't.


Actually they do.

The mother-child dyad is biological. The father-child dyad is social; hence it needs institutions that enforce it. Without custody to a child, a man is a mere sperm donor with no rights.

If there are no matrimonial laws, there are no fathers (see Thomas Hobbes, Daniel Amneus, Margaret Mead). Not only did Mead say that fatherhood is a social construct, but a social accident!

Currently we have a divorce regime (run by feminist men and women) hell bent on destroying fathers.



That's not surprising considering this day and age. Without the institution of monogamous marriage (an institution currently in shambles), many men are left without women because of the resulting informal polygamy, which, without the constant buzzes of the internet, drug, and porn, would have disastrous consequences.
It's not like places where marriage is mandatory are more prosperous by default. Think Islamic cultures, perhaps India

.I wonder why you respond to everything except this..
 

Manure Spherian

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It's not like places where marriage is mandatory are more prosperous by default. Think Islamic cultures, perhaps India

.I wonder why you respond to everything except this..
That’s implied. I never said they’re more prosperous. And there are reasons for that too.

I never even said anything anything about prosperity,
 

Dash Riprock

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Marriage always been more advantageous to men.
I'm not sure where you live but in the US this couldn't be more untrue. Marriage is a HUGE risk for men with very little if any upside.

Just a few things to consider:

- Women file for 80% of all divorces, 90% if they’re college educated.
- Women receive alimony more than 90% of the time.
- Women receive custody of the children more than 90% of the time.
- In some states, the man has to continue to pay alimony even after his ex-wife remarries.
- Family courts in the US are heavily biased towards the woman.
- It's very common that men lose their house, 50% of their possessions, and 50% of any gains in an IRA, 401K, or personal stock portfolio after the date of marriage.
- Prenuptial agreements are not iron-clad or law. They are only a guide for the judge to consider.
- Women are committing adultery and cheating at a much higher rate now than ever before (Google it).

So I'm not sure what advantage any man has in marriage. What can he not still gain or maintain by being single rather than being married? I'm coming up with zero.

Hope that helps.
 

The Duke

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We have removed the religious and societal pressures that used to drive marriage and now we have a "free market" and are seeing the chaos that results from a free-for-all.

1. The lesser men struggle in these conditions.
2. The best men get the best women, and they don't have to marry if they don't want to. He can easily find another one if he has to.
3. Children aren't raised in two parent households and it shows.
4. The cost of living increases because now you raise children in two houses instead of one.
5. The rate of population growth is declining which will eventually lead to population decline.
6. Women still struggle to figure out what they want.
7. Its harder to save and build wealth/retirement when you live as single vs. married.


Religion did a pretty good job creating the structure that helped guide folks in their personal life as well as their business. The more we get away from it, the more problems we have. The United States is a great example. This country was founded on christian principles, and prospered. What you are seeing now is what happens when you get away from that.

Why are women opting out? Because they think their life will be better without.......... But, The greatest minds have never been women.
 
Last edited:

Gamisch

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I'm not sure where you live but in the US this couldn't be more untrue. Marriage is a HUGE risk for men with very little if any upside.

Just a few things to consider:

- Women file for 80% of all divorces, 90% if they’re college educated.
- Women receive alimony more than 90% of the time.
- Women receive custody of the children more than 90% of the time.
- In some states, the man has to continue to pay alimony even after his ex-wife remarries.
- Family courts in the US are heavily biased towards the woman.
- It's very common that men lose their house, 50% of their possessions, and 50% of any gains in an IRA, 401K, or personal stock portfolio after the date of marriage.
- Prenuptial agreements are not iron-clad or law. They are only a guide for the judge to consider.
- Women are committing adultery and cheating at a much higher rate now than ever before (Google it).

So I'm not sure what advantage any man has in marriage. What can he not still gain or maintain by being single rather than being married? I'm coming up with zero.

Hope that helps.
Imagine I would one sentence from your post and then ask you what you mean...

I literally gave multiple examples to why I said that. But to hammer my point home:

Most men WILLINGLY take on the risks you've explained. Why? Because they believe that marriage is the ultimate way to make a woman submit, like it's such a holy thing that it will magically change (improve) a questionable relationship.

Again, remarkably enough most men I know that got married were always struggling with women, and they still do.

The funny thing is that a day after I said all this a trusted member of the forum basically confirmed what I said in his own thread...just saying.
 
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