Why are there so many dudes in the PUA/Game community that don't have their sh*t together?

[GoodMan32]

In your 20s most women don't care about your career like that because everyone is young and trying to grind or figure it out unless you're dealing with a particular kind of woman i.e. worried about status, golddigger, etc

However, in your 30s that's when it changes, in another thread Jesse Pinkman was talking about PUA guys in their 30s working low-entry jobs and staying with their parents. Game will maybe allow you to go on dates, and bang a chick for a couple of months. However the older you get the more your career and living situation matters. This is where I would say if you 35+ living at home or living in the trailer parks or a bad area it can affect your prospects and options. Most women will judge you on your place even if you have your own place, if her place is nicer than yours or not up to par you can lose women that way as well speaking from personal experience. IMO this where money can be a game-changer in regards to logistics. Women won't know if you're making an average income, rich, or broke, but they can gauge an idea by where you live, the type of car you drive etc.

A guy living with his parents isn't an attractive prospect for most women, similar to a fat women isn't an attractive prospect to most men

What about a guy like me?

33 years of age, make less than 40k per year, yet live in a much nicer (albeit small) place than my income could afford (because I partially rely on parents financially)

I imagine my place might initially impress a woman. But eventually (even without me saying my income), she'd likely figure out something is off (a man with my job title living in the place I do)

I don't know what gets a man judged more. Living impoverished (but within his means) or having parents supplement his income so he won't have to live in a slum with roommates (or move back in with parents)

 

[GoodMan32]

If at such ages a man has not established a career and friendships, and is living in such conditions, he is in big freaking trouble. However a viable option would be to go for a trailer-park woman and hopefully live happily ever after.
An acquaintance I grew up with is a vet with PTSD from the Second Gulf War and other psychologically problems. He lives on welfare. All of his girlfriends have been the same status as him, welfare women with social and psychological issues. I rate his SMV as a 3, only because he is well built and highly intelligent. He refused to work and likely shouldn’t, for consideration of the well being of employers. I rate his women’s SMV as 1 to 3. But he does get women.

Hmm, interesting concept (SMV rating). I imagine SMV rating takes more than looks into account?

 

[GoodMan32]

@Solomon do you think many men are having difficulty is because they don’t want their match in looks or lower?

I don’t believe men need to have all “their **** together” to get women. And they certainly don’t for pumping and dumping, which is what most here want, and that includes serial girlfriend havers (glorified pumping and dumping).

Even though you were asking Solomon, I'm going to chime in with my own experience.

Even with lowering my standards, I've still struggled.

 

[Manure Spherian]

(however women tend to be pragmatic after the age of 40 depending on their life situation)

Such a woman missed the plot if she ever wants a family and is likely irreparably mentally damaged from one “bf” after another.

Even though you were asking Solomon, I'm going to chime in with my own experience.

Even with lowering my standards, I've still struggled.

I understand that can happen.

 

[GoodMan32]

Of course they will notice a 'working class' dweeb living in an upscale apartment. And whether you're autistic or not, most women avoid a 30+ year old boy still leeching on his parents.

The exact estimates (as far as percentage) vary. It's a fact, however, a massive percentage of adults on the spectrum are either jobless or working low end jobs.

Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, and Elon Musk are the exception; not the norm.

In other words, my low income is typical for a man on the spectrum; it doesn't mean I have some type of character flaw. No matter how old I get, I don't see myself making much money (the fact I've been out of college for over a decade, yet have never even made 40k in a year, is very telling)

 

[MatureDJ]

Over the past few years, I have met a number of guys that do PUA cold approach and follow a lot of PUA content out there themselves. In getting to know a number of these guys, I notice an overarching trend with about 80% of them. The vast majority of these dudes do not have their lives together, especially in a financial and career sort of way.

Like I am talking about dudes over the age of 30 that are unemployed, live with their parents, barely make any money, and do not really have much of a career path. The amount of dudes working odd jobs like busboy at a restaurant or at some fast food place yet going on PUA forums to find when they can go out to sarge. It is like I don't exactly get it. Even when I have gamed while unemployed, it was after having at least a good bit of runway as well as making supplemental income (don't you dare make a joke here @BillyPilgrim lol).

It is like once in a blue moon I might meet a guy who works a White Collar job and does game. Most of the time, this is the story.

1. Dude lives with parents way out in the suburbs

2. Drives out to the city on weekends to do daygame and nightgame sessions

3. Hopes he can sneak girls into his car

Its like are so many PUA coaches having this whole gimmick where they tell guys "I can help you get models while you are broke". It is what eventually turned me off to John Anthony Lifestyle.

That's because folks who work want to relax after work, and not work a second job in macking chicks; the unemployed don't work much, so they can waste time macking.

 

[MatureDJ]

I don't get it tbh. Like how can someone seriously not have their lives together and still pull? I mean there has to be a catch. Perhaps quality is super low? I can understand if it is a club promoter for a big nightclub or a bartender but even those guys can make a killing with money overtime and once they get good. Outside of that, I just don't see it.

For the similar reason that men that do have their lives together, yet they can't pull.

 

[MatureDJ]

Most guys who get into the PUA community have issues that really don't have to do with women, they think it's about women but the issue may be their confidence, their self-esteem, lack of finances(like most guys) etc. I personally don't have time at my age to go "Sarge" or hit the "Field it's honestly a waste of my time since I have so much work to do and catch up on. As you get older you realize life is short and your energy ain't the same (well for me it ain't) . In 2024 The pua/Gaming community is not what it was 10 years ago.

I got into the PUA community because I had a difficult time picking up chicks. PUA did not help, other than help give me confidence to talk to women I was a total stranger to - now I talk to such women but still ultimately get rejected.

 

[MatureDJ]

Easily one of the best posts I have read on the forum this entire year. I actually hang out with PUAs who fit the mold of not having their stuff together but still getting laid. Once we peel back the layers though, the story becomes a lot less impressive. I am talking banging fat girls, ugly girls, and gutter trash you see on Fresh & Fit.

When I am out with these guys, they approach women that I would not want to even be seen near. A lot of them are approaching girls I find to be hideous as well as a lot of the guys I know.

By contrast, I have a wing who is somewhat into PUA but a tall handsome white dude with a nice job. The guy has over 100 likes on Hinge and does not respond to them because the girls are ugly. I saw the girls and they are like 6 on average. Your typical game or PUA bro celebrating cold approach would easily spam approach these girls at a bar.

It is so important for us to peel back the layers on the guys getting laid while not having a job or their lives together.

When the Quality is bad, the Quantity is irrelevant.

 

[SW15]

the unemployed don't work much, so they can waste time macking.

It is difficult to get laid as an unemployed guy even with the free time to do approaches. This is somewhat dependent upon target market though.

 

[MatureDJ]

So, this young pretty McDonalds worker is going to shut down every guy within her age for a 34-year-old engineer making six figures not for his money at all? This is delusional lol.

I don't think lower-paid women are all that interested in that engineer until they become a single mommy.

 

[MatureDJ]

Yup you get it Fashion Shows, Gallery events, Art Festivals, Private Boat parties. At some of these events the ratio is in favor of men 3:1! You meeting a different caliber of woman. Yes they are still women but meeting women at high-function events, you not meeting Stacy who is an elementary school teacher that you would meet at the divebar. You meeting Kathy who is a trust fund chick and she looks like a smokeshow. Plus has brains to boot

It's a different ballgame

OK, so how is a sausage supposed to be invited to a Private Boat party unless he owns the boat? Gallery events & Art Festivals do have some women, but there are a lot of sausages that have figured out that there are women there.

And Trust-Fund Kathy is not going to go for a Normie; the elementary-school teacher might.

 

[MatureDJ]

I think it is less about the options and more so that some women are refusing to settle for a man less than their standards which can be attributed to alpha widow syndrome, bad parenting, lack of maturity, and etc. Some women would rather die single even if it means a single mom then settle for a man that they consider lower smv than them. Back then a spouse was necessary for survival, but today you can live a single life and be fine.

It's OVER for She'dRatherDieSingleThanBeWithYouCels.

 

[MatureDJ]

I know plenty of med students and doctors who get next to nothing - if you work long hours then what time scale do you have to approach?

A med student is far too busy, and he hasn't yet reached the point of high income. What is absolutely amazing is physicians that are finally able to practice (and thus earn that great income) are having a hard time getting women. In a normal world, it seems his extended social circle should have some decent marriageable women being offered up to him - but instead, it's always the fat chick that his social circle seems to offer up. I mean, if I went through all that hassle to become a high-earning physician, and folks are trying to set me up with fat chicks, I'd ask myself, "did I go through all just to get fat chicks?"

 

[MatureDJ]

think it engineers a lot of procrastination - I mean look at red pilers like Richard Cooper - he dated two single mum's and milked his sob story for 800k YouTube subscribers and people paying for his divorce courses . Arguably Richard Cooper is the most unsuccessful dating guru men have ever seen yet men flock and pay for his services why? so an alpha male can just shout a few self help quotes at them. - I don't even know if theres evidence of him grabbing a coffee date with a half decent chick . These men would be literally better off not listening to him and going out actively creating options

don't get me wrong I an't ditching self improvement - but I know a lot of men who'd be far more better off consistently approaching than they would be improving their income or business.

What's the point of being a dating guru to just date single mommies?

 

[MatureDJ]

My buddy who has been to Hungary told me Hungarian girls have big butts, with small or decent waists and are usually curvy (not American version) is this true? just curious

Gabor sisters - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[MatureDJ]

That is an excellent question, and honestly, I do. I belive especially with Incels to be the case. I remember there was a popular youtuber by the name of KentTV from 2013-2017(the channel is long deleted now) He had the biggest incel channel on youtube. Kent was angry, and frustrated with women, you know what happened? in 2018-2019 he got in shape (decently cut) and found a girlfriend. IMO he looks better than his girlfriend (she is overweight) but Kent stopped making Incel content and now is actually an amateur wrestler. I spoke with him about 5 years ago and he's far happier person then, then he was when he was making "Incel rage content"

What's my point? my point Is I belive a lotof men want those busty Instagram models or onlyfans chicks. Like Women Who complain about Chad/Brad, men want a girl who looks like Stacey or Andrea. I do belive in general men tend to be more pragmatic about looks than women (however women tend to be pragmatic after the age of 40 depending on their life situation), however, I have seen men who think they deserve a woman cause of their race. You know the alt-right types but most of those guys are overweight, or underweight work low paying jobs, and have the perosnality of paint drying but belive they deserve a hot white chick cause they are White as an example.

IMO as a man if you have decent social skills (able to carry a conversation, listen etc) and aren't fat and know how to dress. You need to really look at the type of women you are attracted too but also pay attention to the type of men those women are dating. You can learn a lot

I like how KentTV will be calm for a while, and then let out his frustration by yelling, and then back to being calm, LOL

 

[SW15]

What is absolutely amazing is physicians that are finally able to practice (and thus earn that great income) are having a hard time getting women.

I think a smaller percentage of physicians are very successful with women. The majority of physicians appear to be married beta males.

In a normal world, it seems his extended social circle should have some decent marriageable women being offered up to him - but instead, it's always the fat chick that his social circle seems to offer up.

I've never heard of an instance of a social circle trying to set up an introduction between a physician and an overweight woman.

 

[plumber]

I got into the PUA community because I had a difficult time picking up chicks. PUA did not help, other than help give me confidence to talk to women I was a total stranger to - now I talk to such women but still ultimately get rejected.

black pill ??

 

[plumber]

The exact estimates (as far as percentage) vary. It's a fact, however, a massive percentage of adults on the spectrum are either jobless or working low end jobs.

Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, and Elon Musk are the exception; not the norm.

In other words, my low income is typical for a man on the spectrum; it doesn't mean I have some type of character flaw. No matter how old I get, I don't see myself making much money (the fact I've been out of college for over a decade, yet have never even made 40k in a year, is very telling)

I know plenty of spectrum in and over the top 10% money. A red pill view and game for a specky, usually doesn't play well. Understanding is ok, but ability to do it is not. Non specky will tell; just do it. Its like telling a cat to bark, and being sure that they did not try hard enough.

Game... needs to be redone for the specky, its different.

Blue pill will work, beta will work.

If you get into SOMETHING and become a leader in it or with it; that will draw and pull for you. Still going to have issue later but that is another story. Going to a loud bar and competing with non specky is not logical.... You can not be them, they can not be you.

Service volunteering can be a path...