Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Why are there so many dudes in the PUA/Game community that don't have their sh*t together?

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,195
Reaction score
2,497
Age
124
Men didn’t have the privilege of choosing to be a broke bachelor or focus on passion back then. It was either work from dawn to dusk to support a growing family or die early from a war or disease. All to be married and tied down to some girl that was locally near or referred to by the family. BUT this is so much better because there was no Bumble of Instagram!!!!!
There is a big difference between having options and having real options

Something that women for example do not understand, and that’s why they become bitter by the time they are early - mid 30s

The hordes of thirsty guys from social media / tinder make them think that they are amazing, and then their ego starts going crazy thinking and then spiral to bitterness

This has happened multiple of times since the down of man, only for society to revert back to religion

Sure there are exceptions and so on, but it is more like that than the other way around
 

Manure Spherian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 16, 2023
Messages
877
Reaction score
857
Age
45
I'm sure you're the expert here, but I found that many of these women had more like a 'Florence Nightingale' complex, similar to the male 'White Knight' complex. And while those women should maybe choose wiser, many of them get a deep satisfaction from 'repairing broken men'. Doesn't necessarily mean these are low quality women.
I’m not joking here. Considering few here are interested in marriage and child raising, I do not know why they care about quality of women other than them not being mentally ill or harmful.
 

CornbreadFed

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 7, 2023
Messages
2,834
Reaction score
2,169
Age
29
Location
Nashville, TN
Something that women for example do not understand, and that’s why they become bitter by the time they are early - mid 30s

The hordes of thirsty guys from social media / tinder make them think that they are amazing, and then their ego starts going crazy thinking and then spiral to bitterness
I think it is less about the options and more so that some women are refusing to settle for a man less than their standards which can be attributed to alpha widow syndrome, bad parenting, lack of maturity, and etc. Some women would rather die single even if it means a single mom then settle for a man that they consider lower smv than them. Back then a spouse was necessary for survival, but today you can live a single life and be fine.
 
Last edited:

Manure Spherian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 16, 2023
Messages
877
Reaction score
857
Age
45
It is so important for us to peel back the layers on the guys getting laid while not having a job or their lives together.
They’re getting laid and enjoying it. Is there something more to this?
 

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,195
Reaction score
2,497
Age
124
I think it is less about the options and more so that some women are refusing to settle for a man less than their standards which can be attributed to alpha widow syndrome, bad parenting, lack of maturity, and etc. Some women would rather die single even if it means a single mom then settle for a man that they consider lower smv than them. Back then a spouse was necessary for survival, but today you can live a single life and be fine.
For the vast majority of women to go through the alpha window syndrome that you describe, it means that it has to be a lot of so called alpha guys, which are not

Just by the magnitude of of the hole phenomen, they are just not that many so called alpha guys to happen

It is more about the perceived options and the ego that comes with it

I hear now more than ever this “ there are lines of guys willing to do X or Y for me”

Never heard that sh1t before, not even from really good looking women previously
 

CornbreadFed

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 7, 2023
Messages
2,834
Reaction score
2,169
Age
29
Location
Nashville, TN
For the vast majority of women to go through the alpha window syndrome that you describe, it means that it has to be a lot of so called alpha guys, which are not

Just by the magnitude of of the hole phenomen, they are just not that many so called alpha guys to happen

It is more about the perceived options and the ego that comes with it

I hear now more than ever this “ there are lines of guys willing to do X or Y for me”

Never heard that sh1t before, not even from really good looking women previously
First, to fully understand my post, you have to understand that I am talking about some women, not all women. Most women stay within their social circles and give you 0% chance of meeting them unless you actively network or approach women in cold settings. The women I am talking about are the actively single women that you are butting heads against at clubs/bars, OLD, and etc.

Now, it is pretty easy for an average to above average smv girl on OLD/warm approach settings to get treated like a princess from a high smv male or anomaly male and then tossed aside when he gets bored or gets caught by one of his gfs/wife. For example, my ex-girlfriend got wined, dined, coddled, and fvcked by some 6ft 5 NFL player (off of Hinge) for a year until he got bored. Now this girl has to go from riding in a 100k plus cars, getting bought luxury gifts every month, eating out at the most expensive restaurants, having the prestige of dating an NFL player to dating a guy that is near or below her smv. Let alone, she was an 8 so not a bombshell or anything special. She is never going to be able to fully adjust to reality, so she is just going to either continue butting heads with these types of men or throw in the towel and be single. This scenario is a woman's nightmare and Tyler Perry literally writes movies about this situation.

Now back to my point: Why is it impossible to think that women won't settle for less when I see men do it too? This is not a sexual exclusive issue; we just live in a time period that we do not have to be stuck in some insufferable relationship to survive. I would not expect you to stay with a girl below your standards for no reason at all, so why should you expect them?
 
Last edited:

characternote

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 31, 2018
Messages
855
Reaction score
1,029
They’re getting laid and enjoying it. Is there something more to this?
This. I think people over-complicate it lol. Not everyone really 'wants' to be some mega rich successful guy, really. Or at least it's just not as important to them as it may be to others and they have different priorities. Hell, some people literally give up extremely well paid jobs and having 'their lives together' and decide that they just want to live completely stress free life out in the sticks somewhere instead, giving up their income and luxuries. I'm never gonna be 'rich and successful' and I can honestly say, it's never really bothered me and I spent more time (and still do!) on enjoying myself than on trying to become a big success story in life. I'm kinda happy as I am
 
Last edited:

Manure Spherian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 16, 2023
Messages
877
Reaction score
857
Age
45
This. I think people over-complicate it lol. Not everyone really 'wants' to be some mega rich successful guy, really. Or at least it's just not as important to them as it may me to others and they have different priorities. Hell, some people literally give up extremely well paid jobs and having 'their lives together' and decide that they just want to live completely stress free life out in the sticks somewhere instead, giving up their income and luxuries. I'm never gonna be 'rich and successful' and I can honestly say, it's never really bothered me and I spent more time (and still do!) on enjoying myself than on trying to become a big success story in life. I'm kinda happy as I am
Right. I also don’t know why some men are concerned about the degree attractiveness of the women other men have sex with.

“Yo bro, I’m amazing sex with this woman.”

“Yeah, but like, is she hot?””
 

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,195
Reaction score
2,497
Age
124
Now back to my point: Why is it impossible to think that women won't settle for less when I see men do it too? This is not a sexual exclusive issue; we just live in a time period that we do not have to be stuck in some insufferable relationship to survive. I would not expect you to stay with a girl below your standards for no reason at all, so why should you expect them?
One thing is to have realistic standards and a totally different thing is to be delusional

The problem is not that people should stay or not in bad relationships or that they should stay or not in relationships with people bellow their standards

The problem is with the standards that you have in the first place

Women “raised” artificially their standards, while guys as a way to combat this dropped their standards till they have none of a fraction on what they should have

And ofc this creates the shocks in the dating market, a shock in the market that affects both men and women at the same rate

Same things that is happening now for example with education worldwide, the level of functional illiterate people is at the highest level ever

Same as school/highschool dropouts

You would expect that the more developed a country is, the better people will be educated. But this is very far away from the truth
 

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
5,054
Reaction score
2,097
Location
Inside her mind
There is a big difference between having options and having real options

Something that women for example do not understand, and that’s why they become bitter by the time they are early - mid 30s

The hordes of thirsty guys from social media / tinder make them think that they are amazing, and then their ego starts going crazy thinking and then spiral to bitterness

This has happened multiple of times since the down of man, only for society to revert back to religion

Sure there are exceptions and so on, but it is more like that than the other way around
Bro you bring up an excellent point, I remember years ago I was talking to a woman on a dating app who just turned 30 (forgot which one may have been POF I don't even remember her name cause we never met) but she brought up something interesting. She mentioned that when she would go out with her girlfriends they would get hit on by guys all the time and she never would. However, in online dating, she had 100's of guys hitting her up. I didn't wanna state the obvious but I think she was realizing that she was the weakest link etc, and that she wasn't really all that even though her girlfriends were.

Online dating/Social Media gives women the illusion of choice but if it doesn't match up with your real world experiences or the only choices you have online is guys who wanna smash and not wife you up Then welp you get the point. A lot of women don't realize this or by the time they do, they are to jaded or bitter to course correct
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
3,705
Reaction score
3,109
It is so important for us to peel back the layers on the guys getting laid while not having a job or their lives together.
Why is that important? Don't compare lifestyles. If they're happy living that way, why do you care? Especially since you seem to look down on the 'low quality women' these guys are supposedly 'banging'. You don't want to get together with these women anyway, so why do you care these women get laid with these supposed 'losers'? I don't see the importance in that.
 

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,195
Reaction score
2,497
Age
124
Online dating/Social Media gives women the illusion of choice but if it doesn't match up with your real world experiences or the only choices you have online is guys who wanna smash and not wife you up Then welp you get the point. A lot of women don't realize this or by the time they do, they are to jaded or bitter to course correct
I would go even more deeper

If a guy hits on a girl it does not really mean that he actually likes her more than banging her 1-2 times

So even if the girl gets hit a lot in the real world, it does not mean that those guys are real options besides a casual bang
 

CornbreadFed

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 7, 2023
Messages
2,834
Reaction score
2,169
Age
29
Location
Nashville, TN
Online dating/Social Media gives women the illusion of choice but if it doesn't match up with your real world experiences or the only choices you have online is guys who wanna smash and not wife you up Then welp you get the point. A lot of women don't realize this or by the time they do, they are to jaded or bitter to course correct
I just cannot agree with this idea because the human brain cannot fully engage with more than 2 people. Girls have the illusion of choice and tons of guys hitting on them even outside OLD/Social Media regardless of rather she is a solid 10 or 4. If this idea held any water then no guy would be able to get a girl’s emotional investment.

Yet, there’s plenty of guys that do it including myself. In my experience, I have dealt with some women that had a bad case of “What If” syndrome, but this was extremely uncommon. More than likely, a girl has 1 guy at the top of her roster with 1 backup guy for hookups only. No girl is truly single because you are competing for that number 1 spot because either that guy is under performing at his job or he quit and left for another girl. If you find yourself competing against a girl's options, then you were not high on her attraction list in the first place. Essentially, I am calling this a cope or pity excuse lol.
 
Last edited:

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
5,054
Reaction score
2,097
Location
Inside her mind
I just cannot agree with this idea because the human brain cannot fully engage with more than 2 people. Girls have the illusion of choice and tons of guys hitting on them even outside OLD/Social Media regardless of rather she is a solid 10 or 4. If this idea held any water then no guy would be able to get a girl’s emotional investment.

Yet, there’s plenty of guys that do it including myself. In my experience, I have dealt with some women that had a bad case of “What If” syndrome, but this was extremely uncommon. More than likely, a girl has 1 guy at the top of her roster with 1 backup guy for hookups only. No girl is truly single because you are competing for that number 1 spot because either that guy is under performing at his job or he quit and left for another girl. If you find yourself competing against a girl's options, then you were not high on her attraction list in the first place. Essentially, I am calling this a cope or pity excuse lol.
Clearly, you haven't dealt with a real smoke show or a girl who is a model(I'm not talking that IG crap, I'm talking about bonafide Fashion Week NYC). Those women have options you wouldn't believe from guys paying her bills to one being used for sex, another guy taking her shopping etc. If men can spin plates you don't think women can? women are even better at spinning plates and far more cunning than any man. You got women now who are writing books and making YouTube videos on how to have multiple men pay your bills etc


Is every girl like this? nope, I would say this is a minority but this does happen. I remember one girl I was messing with years ago confessed to me she was messing with 7 dudes at once, nedless to say I dropped her and got tested.

This notion in 2024 that women are looking for love is foolhardy, there is a reason this "Sprinkle SPrinkle" content has blown up on social media, there is a reason why "City GIrls" is so popular. Women in 2024 are playing the game for keeps and not for love!

 

CornbreadFed

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 7, 2023
Messages
2,834
Reaction score
2,169
Age
29
Location
Nashville, TN
Clearly, you haven't dealt with a real smoke show or a girl who is a model(I'm not talking that IG crap, I'm talking about bonafide Fashion Week NYC). Those women have options you wouldn't believe from guys paying her bills to one being used for sex, another guy taking her shopping etc. If men can spin plates you don't think women can? women are even better at spinning plates and far more cunning than any man. You got women now who are writing books and making YouTube videos on how to have multiple men pay your bills etc
I do not disagree that these girls exist, but I do think this issue is over-exaggerated. 9 times out of 10, she just did not find you attractive enough and you pointed the blame to her orbiters. I will bet you that these girls have that one guy in their heart that they would literally drop everything for in an instant, but this guy turned her down and tossed her aside. This goes back to alpha widow syndrome and refusing to settle for less more so than an abudnance of options.
 

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
5,054
Reaction score
2,097
Location
Inside her mind
I do not disagree that these girls exist, but I do think this issue is over-exaggerated. 9 times out of 10, she just did not find you attractive enough and you pointed the blame to her orbiters. I will bet you that these girls have that one guy in their heart that they would literally drop everything for in an instant, but this guy turned her down and tossed her aside. This goes back to alpha widow syndrome and refusing to settle for less more so than an abudnance of options.
Two things can be right, but I'm not talking about Oribiters women spin plates as well, women can be attracted to and have sex with multiple men, usually, these women are past the pair-bond phase and are sleeping with multiple men for various reasons unlike men who usually tend to sleep with multiple women for sex
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,192
Reaction score
10,468
Most women stay within their social circles and give you 0% chance of meeting them unless you actively network or approach women in cold settings.
A lot of women aren't receptive to being approached by strangers. They might be in a relationship at the moment of approach and not open to new penis (common), available but not attracted to the approacher, or completely overwhelmed by their existing number of choices if available.

it is pretty easy for an average to above average smv girl on OLD/warm approach settings to get treated like a princess from a high smv male or anomaly male and then tossed aside when he gets bored or gets caught by one of his gfs/wife. For example, my ex-girlfriend got wined, dined, coddled, and fvcked by some 6ft 5 NFL player (off of Hinge) for a year until he got bored. Now this girl has to go from riding in a 100k plus cars, getting bought luxury gifts every month, eating out at the most expensive restaurants, having the prestige of dating an NFL player to dating a guy that is near or below her smv.
That happens. That would be a tough adjustment for a woman.

she was an 8 so not a bombshell or anything special.
A woman who is an '8' is strongly above average. She's attractive for sure.

She is never going to be able to fully adjust to reality, so she is just going to either continue butting heads with these types of men or throw in the towel and be single.
This is a famous video of a woman in her 30s in the 6-7 range for most men trying to adjust to dating men in the 6-7 range after dating mainly 8.5+ range men.


The adjustment is difficult.

I remember years ago I was talking to a woman on a dating app who just turned 30 (forgot which one may have been POF I don't even remember her name cause we never met) but she brought up something interesting. She mentioned that when she would go out with her girlfriends they would get hit on by guys all the time and she never would. However, in online dating, she had 100's of guys hitting her up. I didn't wanna state the obvious but I think she was realizing that she was the weakest link etc, and that she wasn't really all that even though her girlfriends were.

Online dating/Social Media gives women the illusion of choice but if it doesn't match up with your real world experiences or the only choices you have online is guys who wanna smash and not wife you up Then welp you get the point. A lot of women don't realize this or by the time they do, they are to jaded or bitter to course correct
I have seen examples in real life of very average looking women barely getting approached in the real world but having hundreds of men express interest in them on dating apps/social media. It's jarring. The average looking women I've seen experience this tend to put up high notch counts. They are pump n dump candidates.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,192
Reaction score
10,468
It is better to be a guy who doesn't have his shiit together and getting laid than the opposite. The opposite is a guy who seems to be a solid citizen but is struggling with women. There are plenty of men who earn a good living (something like $75,000 - $130,000/year) and barely get any attention from women.

 

Millard Fillmore

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2023
Messages
778
Reaction score
726
It is better to be a guy who doesn't have his shiit together and getting laid than the opposite. The opposite is a guy who seems to be a solid citizen but is struggling with women. There are plenty of men who earn a good living (something like $75,000 - $130,000/year) and barely get any attention from women.

That's why I think it's silly advice to tell guys not to pursue women until they get their sh*t (career, education, health etc.) together. It's like saying don't go to the gym until you're jacked. A guy can focus on more than one thing. Obviously there are times when women go on the back burner but a guy should be improving in multiple facets.
 
Top