Why are some guys never single?

[ubercat]

Hmm as a serial monogamist I'm willing to throw myself open for dissection. I think it definitely can be the time trap you guys call out. and then there is all the medical research saying that men are less healthy when they're not on the relationship so the average guy doesn't do it great job of looking after his business. And by definition most of you here will be average as I am.

most of you know my story I have shifted the odds in my favour by only dating women from old cultures. Of course I still use modern empowered feminists for sh1ts and giggles when I m not wifed up

And I think the other point is she s part of the crew. you should have projects that you are working on as a team with you being the leader. Otherwise life becomes all socks and sainsbury's and of course woman start behaving like mother hens.

 

[derby1]

lad at the gym has about 4 relationships a year, he was ultra skinny, now hes ripped

cant keep women for ****, he steams round the gym checking his phone, hes that insecure

 

[zekko]

Let's face it: Relationships; LTRs, marriage, whatever, DO detract from your other pursuits in life.

Depends on the person. Some guys spend a lot more time chasing tail than other guys put into their relationships. I've known many guys who have no other interests other than getting laid with their latest random. I have many personal goals and interests, but I still value my relationship. Life isn't as simple as "spinning plates good, relationships bad".

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Don't we all know a male friend, friend of a friend or acquaintance that always seems to go from relationship to relationship, they are never single long?

What gives?

Being with somebody, even if you aren't that into them is better than being alone?

Embarrassed being single?

Closet Homosexual?

I have been single most my life and find it challenging to meet attractive women who I have things in common with who aren't already taken. It's okay, since I would rather remain single until I meet that woman who makes my heart race.

The last time I met a woman that I liked and actually got somewhere with was 18 months ago.

I’m that guy. I got divorced at end of ‘18 & have been in a series of relationships since. Not gay. Not embarrassed being single. I enjoy having a woman. I like their company & spending time with them. And sex. Woman are the prime movers, as they really want relationships. None of this is planned (at least by me). Relationships just seem to happen.

 

[zekko]

But when observing guys who clearly cherish their relationships as number 1 priority, I can clearly see that the gf looks like she doesn’t have all her needs met. Like challenge and excitement from watching her man evolve and grow and transcend his limitations.

A friend of mine's wife divorced him for that very reason. She said he had grown stagnant and was not growing or progressing. She was actually a go getter herself, concentrating on advancing her career and self improving, so she couldn't respect that he wasn't doing the same.

 

[Roober]

Let's face it: Relationships; LTRs, marriage, whatever, DO detract from your other pursuits in life.

The one thing everybody on this planet has that's the same is 24 hours in a day.

That said, what differs is how you choose to use your 24 hours.

Relationships take time, usually a lot of it, if you want to nurture and grow it into something long term. I've been there, had many LTRs, and know exactly what it takes especially with a hot, high-quality woman. If that's your goal, fine. BUT, it WILL come at the expense of you pursuing your hobbies, career, friends, relative time, and solo time (huge...). The pieces of (time) pie just get cut thinner for everything else in your life. That’s a fact.

Many guys are willing to sacrifice all this just to have a girlfriend or wife. Once again, that's fine.

Over the years, it has been my observation that guys like this are usually quite insecure and effeminate. I hear things like "I'd be nothing without her, she's my best friend, I tell her everything, she's helped me so much" and on and on. I choose to focus on ME and MY GOALS--FIRST, and then invest a little time in women. I used to be the other way around but found, and this only come with experience, it's not worth it - for me anyway. I like woman for sex, and do bang a lot of them, but they know I'm STR material only. I'm just happier pursuing my goals and dreams at my own pace. Solo is fine for me.

So to answer OP's question about the guys who "always" have a girlfriend or make relationships their number one quest in life, it's a combination of:

1- Fear of being alone
2- Result of not having clear life goals, a passion, or objectives to pursue
3- Easily influenced from outside pressure, stigmas, old social norms, or comments
4- Nice guy, overly accommodating and giving types
5- Beta mentality that is wired in their DNA; worker bees, yes-men, “I need to check with the boss (wife)” types, etc.

Good luck.

~Dash~

Good analysis.

It would be interesting to see if, on average,men that perpetually jump from one relationship to the next have more time available.

Being in a relationship, I sometimes ponder and distance myself over the thought of how much more time I would have to spend on work, a business, reading, gym, or other interests. Relationships certainly take time, and one has to be willing to sacrifice some of it to maintain a successful and healthy relationship.

Maybe that's a good indicator if someone should even explore a relationship. How much time are you willing to give up for dates, family gatherings, etc, and whether or not it aligns with your potential partners need for time....

 

[Jack12345]

Fake as ****
No offense bro

 

[Jack12345]

You trying to address other men's success to form some kind of relationship and deny it by some random theories to empower yours unsuccessful attempts to form a successful relationship, whatever it means to you. This is not how it works.

 

[Jack12345]

The way I see it, unless a woman gives you butterflies when you are around her (atleast in the beginning) why not be single?

All men would like it, at least at some point in their life, the problem is that women not attracted to such men, because it gives them the dominance they rather would enjoy you to have over them.

 

[BeExcellent]

When you don't love yourself, the thought of only having one person to rely on for emotional, physical, and psychological needs is terrifying.

Bang on 1000%.

 

[BeExcellent]

1- Fear of being alone
2- Result of not having clear life goals, a passion, or objectives to pursue

Or this can go down another list

1-Lack of Self esteem/Lack of self love as evidenced by...
2-Constant need for external validation and attention from women (because of 1. above)
3-Fear of being alone
4-Lack of respect for women (because of 1. above *e.g. I'm a POS so because she's into me she is therefore a POS*)
5-Narcissism/Psychopathy/Dark Triad - These men SLAY but they are users of women and emotionally unavailable. The dark triad traits arise out of power dynamics and sexual energy and this is very seductive. It is also potentially dangerous emotionally (which is part of the draw.)