"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Why are lot of online "manosphere" forums about guys "venting" their frustrations?

Walkman

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Hey guys,

I have realize many online "manosphere" forums are unproductive since they don't give people concrete actions they can take to improve their lives. Instead, it seems its about coaches selling their books and about guys "venting" their frustrations.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Serenity

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I don't know much about other forums, but this one has been sufficient for what I needed. I've briefly visited other such forums to have a look, but to me they didn't seem to have the level of competency available here.

You'll find guys venting no matter where you go, also here. It's a part of getting help, some of those will listen to advice, some will continue to be stuck in their negative loop.

It's problematic if a forum mostly contains such whiners and few guys with solid knowledge and experience, that's how you end up with a blackpill echo chamber. Similarly it's no better if a forum consist mostly of bros who knows how to get chicks and belittle the new guys for their incompetence. Neither of those scenarios are productive, but when there's a decent amount of knowledgeable guys and guys to be helped then there is an opportunity to be productive. I would say this forum does fairly well regarding that balance.

Fortunately you won't find a bunch of guys selling their books here and if you do, please report them as commercial advertising is against forum rules. We will remove it as quickly as we can. Recommending books as part of advice is allowed, but if you suspect there's financial interests at play then we would very much like to be made aware of it and look into it.
 

Black Widow Void

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I’m totally fine with members here venting after a bad situation. It’s better to come here, then to vent to their friends or worse, friends of the offending ex. Sometimes we all need to decompress.

I’m not familiar with other forums, but I would not be surprised at your observation. Although we have a few boneheads here that will denigrate new members, the majority are willing to offer constructive criticism. It’s all about helping our fellow brothers out.
 

Who Dares Win

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Because men are basically considered intruders in any environment even those they created for themselves therefore being allowed to vent and be heard from people that can relate and not call you names, became like a luxury itself.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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AureliusMaximus

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Hey guys,

I have realize many online "manosphere" forums are unproductive since they don't give people concrete actions they can take to improve their lives. Instead, it seems its about coaches selling their books and about guys "venting" their frustrations.
Its a generational thing too with the snowflake generation who cannot take any resistance from the world without starting crying and whining about being offended over some bullsheite.

They are finding their way to SS too and cries about it with things like for example "How hard it is to date women today", "Women don't me date because height" or "Some incel crying issue" etc. threads.

Indeed, there is nothing productive in that in itself.


If you look back to the older days of SS and the more mature gents that was here back then like Rollo, Pook, Roosh etc. they had a steady firm grip around their balls instead and did something about it and took action instead of whining and complaining like people do these days.

Unfortunately it seems that this is new standard of whining and crying instead of taking action these days.
 
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SW15

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It's because of a rise in male sexlessness.
 

HaleyBaron

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I rather they vent here than anywhere else. At least here we can try to aid them. I see many guys irl who lack the components to be attractive and I like helping them cause we've all been there. I'm really trying to get them to stop simping. A little charm will woo a woman more than being servants to them.
 

Von

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Forum online are replacing gentlemen clubs or "private male clubs"

Personnally: go vent at a martial gym with sparring
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Kotaix

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Hey guys,

I have realize many online "manosphere" forums are unproductive since they don't give people concrete actions they can take to improve their lives. Instead, it seems its about coaches selling their books and about guys "venting" their frustrations.
Even if you give men concrete actions to take (do the work, as rich cooper says), most of them won't actually follow thru on the most basic steps to improve their lives. Instead they twist themselves into knots trying to find shortcuts around their problems. This is what most self-help coaches sell. A good self-help coach will help you realize your own power instead of giving you rules to follow.

The other problem is that guys will try to rationalize why they're having problems and try to blame it on everyone else instead of looking into themselves for the cause of the problem and trying to fix it.
 

Jack22

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Men are encouraged to "show their emotions", so they act like chicks and b*tch about their problems. It's a victim mentality, and if you don't understand why things are the way they are or aren't willing to change your situation and feel hopeless, you "vent". I'm not against guys talking about their problems on forums like this though, because it allows us to look back at our mistakes and acknowledge our problems. I do b*tch sometimes, but I try to phrase my writing in a way that'd be enjoyable for others to read.

It's out there for the world to see, it's your dirty laundry and it needs cleaning, there's no avoiding it, sweeping it under the carpet, hiding it in a broom closet, etc. Although it is more counterintuitive to do on most other parts of the internet. Like reddit for example, you're not going to want take life advice from man children that jerk off all day, but from guys who actually have something going on and have learned from their past mistakes and are striving to do better, all while keeping some anonymity so you don't ruin your real world reputation for acting like a b*tch.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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As far as online forums - and safe spaces for men to talk to men, there had been a few that were locked down to keep females out, but those days have passed. MMSL was one, talk about making a mistake, Athol miscalculated grossly and destroyed the site by allowing females in, it suddenly turned from a locker room to a **** fest of men trying to qualify themselves incessantly to females that chimed in on threads. It catastrophically changed the site. I was an early participant and used to provide information related to endocrinology to as a public service.

All of the cornerstone contributors warned against allowing females in - and Athol did it to try to monetize, it failed miserably.

In any case as weird as Roosh’s forums used to be with all the xenophobic crap, it was more or less where I migrated to, until Roosh got a bible stuck in his sphincter.

Back when that happened the Black Pill was a glint in someone’s monkey brain, now it’s everywhere but I wonder why there aren’t just black pill forums? Why would black píllers want to post on a pua/redpill sig?

Don’t mean to derail.
 

Zimbabwe

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It's still better than the terrible "advice" they give on dating subreddits.
 

HaleyBaron

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If I see another man going to the AskMen or AskWomen subreddit...

There was a time ten years ago when the AskMen and advice subreddits were very informative. Nowadays, everyone who said something negative got banned, so it's an echo chamber of bluepill education.

2012:

1647959540367.png

Now:

1647959617823.png
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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PRW63

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Why are lot of online "manosphere" forums about guys "venting" their frustrations?
Why? What do you mean why? Just read them, they tell you why. This is a "Why is the sky blue? question,...or "Are we there yet?" from the kid in the back seat.

How about asking about the things they are frustrated about,...and how to fix that so they aren't frustrated anymore?

I've been seeing a lot of this kind of question on Reddit lately. Seems like a bunch of Bots at work and a concerted effort. They are all very subtile but are all calling into question the motivation of anything said, explained, or complained about by men (or the "mannosphere", or RedPill, or whatever). It is never about the truth of the content, the validity of their frustrations, the validity of their advice. It is always about their motivations,..."Why do they say XYZ? Why are they complaining about XYZ? Why is all their advice XYZ? Why do all men....XYZ? Do all men think....XYZ?" The question is never about XYZ itself and why is XYZ what XYZ is.
 

HaleyBaron

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Why? What do you mean why? Just read them, they tell you why. This is a "Why is the sky blue? question,...or "Are we there yet?" from the kid in the back seat.

How about asking about the things they are frustrated about,...and how to fix that so they aren't frustrated anymore?

I've been seeing a lot of this kind of question on Reddit lately. Seems like a bunch of Bots at work and a concerted effort. They are all very subtile but are all calling into question the motivation of anything said, explained, or complained about by men (or the "mannosphere", or RedPill, or whatever). It is never about the truth of the content, the validity of their frustrations, the validity of their advice. It is always about their motivations,..."Why do they say XYZ? Why are they complaining about XYZ? Why is all their advice XYZ? Why do all men....XYZ? Do all men think....XYZ?" The question is never about XYZ itself and why is XYZ what XYZ is.
It's three things:
  • Bots.
  • Actual men who think there's nothing wrong with how they think and so are looking for an excuse to think nothing is wrong.
  • And women posing as men or trying to gaslight men.
 

PRW63

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It's three things:
  • Bots.
  • Actual men who think there's nothing wrong with how they think and so are looking for an excuse to think nothing is wrong.
  • And women posing as men or trying to gaslight men.
Yep. All the above.

I guess if he is worried about why someone is frustrated about something then he can add "Why are men complaining about what men are complaining about when men are complaining about it, and complaining about it?
 

Modern Man Advice

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Hey guys,

I have realize many online "manosphere" forums are unproductive since they don't give people concrete actions they can take to improve their lives. Instead, it seems its about coaches selling their books and about guys "venting" their frustrations.
Because society has allowed and encouraged people to feel entitled. It is easier to complain and point fingers than actually challenge ourselves. And because masculinity is often ridiculed effectively confusing new generations of males.

This is the age of comfort.


Modern Man Advice
 

HaleyBaron

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Because society has allowed and encouraged people to feel entitled. It is easier to complain and point fingers than actually challenge ourselves. And because masculinity is often ridiculed effectively confusing new generations of males.

This is the age of comfort.


Modern Man Advice
The biggest problem I believe is that men aren't being allowed to be men [or boys allowed to be boys]. The challenges aren't there if they can't strive for them to begin with.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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