Why American Wives Stray

[LJC]

Why American Wives Stray
By By Lorraine Ali and Lisa Miller
Newsweek

July 12 issue - When groups of women get together, especially if they're mothers and have been married for more than six or seven years, and especially if there's alcohol involved, the conversation is usually the same. They talk about the kids and work-how stressed they are, how busy and bone tired. They gripe about their husbands and, if they're being perfectly honest and the wine kicks in, they talk about the disappointments in their marriages. Not long ago, over lunch in Los Angeles, this conversation took a surprising turn, when Erin, who is in her early 40s and has been married for more than
a decade, spilled it. She was seeing someone else. Actually, more than one person.

It started with an old friend, whom she began meeting every several months for long dinners and some heavy petting. Then she began giving herself permission to flirt with, kiss-well, actually, make out with-men she met on business trips. She understands it's a "Clintonian" distinction, but she won't have sex with anyone except her husband, whom she loves. But she also loves the unexpected thrill of meeting someone new. "Do you remember?" She pauses. "I don't know how long you've been married, but do you remember the kiss that would just launch a thousand kisses?"

Erin started seeing other men when she went back to work after her youngest child entered preschool. All of a sudden she was out there. Wearing great clothes, meeting new people, alive for the first time in years to the idea that she was interesting beyond her contributions at PTA meetings.

Veronica, on the other hand, fell in love with a man who was not her husband while she was safely at home in the Dallas suburbs looking after her two children. Hers is the more familiar story: isolated and lonely, married to an airline pilot, Veronica, now 35, took up with a wealthy businessman she met at a Dallas nightclub. Her lover gave her everything her husband didn't: compliments, Tiffany jewelry, flowers and love notes. It was, in fact, the flowers that did her in.

Veronica's lover sent a bouquet to her home one afternoon, her husband answered the door and, in one made-for-Hollywood moment, the marriage was over. Now remarried (to a new man), Veronica says she and her friends half-jokingly talk about starting a Web site for married women who want to date. "I think there might be a market in it," she says. There is. Wives who want extramarital sex-or are just dreaming about it-can find what they seek on Yahoo!, MSN or AOL.

 

[Ebach]

It's not women. It's people. People want the new and exciting. Men can usually get it without much problem, unless the woman is the head of the house (usually with a nice guy). As Clinton put it, I did it because I could and that's exactly it. If everyone had the guts to do it and not get caught, they would. It's very simple. It's not the rocket science that people make it out to be.

 

[LJC]

Although I can understand the simplicity of the concept, I don't like the logic of making it "ok". It seems to me more and more that this kind of behavior is being accepted, and in many cases even pushed. Clintonian, passion for a new....call it what you will...it's adultry. And I think it stinks.

This isn't just the nature of people, it has seeped into law as well. Women whom have committed adultry are better protected in divorce courts today then of generations before us, while I beleve it reasonable to say the tide here is going against men.

 

[rgeere]

Don't think that I am being an idiot by making this comparison, but you know that in wild pigs the female is the one with the most testosterone and the most agressive gender when it comes to sex.

I think I am going to go read Animal Farm again, that's a good book and the ending seems to fit in with how I feel about the way this feminist movement is going. They are basically in a revolution to take over as the dominate sex, it's nothing about equality.

 

[Ebach]

LJC, in that case I agree with you. Women are getting more and more power. Why? Maybe because men are giving it up? I can tell you why. First it's because men are giving it up, and second because of all the policing that goes on in this country. You can't raise your own family without someone sniffing on your business. What I do is my own damn business and I do it because I know it works. That's how it should be. Killing people is not something I agree, even abuse is not something I agree with, but people should have more freedom. I don't know what people are so happy about. Freedom of speech! Go tell a police officer to **** off and tell him you're excercising your freedom of speech.

rgeere, you're just figuring this out? ANd it took a book named "Animal Farm" to make you realize this? Jesus Christ... and then you complain about women taking over.

The ugly politician with power and money are making it hard for the hotshots to get women and live life with all their rules and regulations and their conservative opinions on life. That's cool if you're in your 50's but dam what about the youngsters who want to learna instead of being stuck at home reading books and doing their homework? How is that going to help them in life? The politicians are mad that they never got ***** and they excercise their anger as a way to control society. Everything in this world, comes down to people's experiences, intetions, expectations, and their idealistic views on life and society.

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by Ebach
rgeere, you're just figuring this out? ANd it took a book named "Animal Farm" to make you realize this? Jesus Christ... and then you complain about women taking over.

No, I'm not just figuring this out. I found out almost approximatelly a year and a half ago when I first started to breath life into my poor sheltered and previously secluded body.
I woke up and realized I was being controlled by society for the gain of every one but myself. Heck, if I had known what I had known now what I know I wouldn't have attended university for the past three years taking out hugh school loans. I would have found a way to start my own buisness or something or a cheaper way to mke money. And all because I was lonely and didn't know what to do with my life, all I needed was a gosh darn backbone and some willingness to take risk, but that's blown now.

I'm not saying that education isn't important. I just don't like the thought that educational institutions treat you like youare a bunch of tame cattle ready to be hearded to the slaughtering plant. Challenge your teachers they know far less than you would think.

 

[JT47319]

I SEE A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUPID FYCKED UP AFC THINKING

Women are getting more control of their own reproductive cycles through birth control and enjoying their own sexuality. This is their opportunity to be as playerish as they want just like a guy can be as playerish as he wants.

If you can't fycking COMPETE & GAME WOMEN, then get the FYCK out of the gene pool. Women know how to game guys (make-up, breasts, clothes) you just need to know how to game women.

Throughout the ages, there have ALWAYS been HUSBANDS and STUDS, laws or no laws. This could still be "Leave It to BEAYER" land and there always be some stud fycking Judy when the BORE/HUSBAND goes to work.

There have always been a second set of rules for STUDS. If you don't know the unwritten rules of Playerdom, than obviously you aren't part of the Secret Society

 

[Ebach]

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/pizza.php

 

[LJC]

Originally posted by JT47319
I SEE A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUPID FYCKED UP AFC THINKING

Women are getting more control of their own reproductive cycles through birth control and enjoying their own sexuality. This is their opportunity to be as playerish as they want just like a guy can be as playerish as he wants.

If you can't fycking COMPETE & GAME WOMEN, then get the FYCK out of the gene pool. Women know how to game guys (make-up, breasts, clothes) you just need to know how to game women.

Don't be so naive. Most women encourage the concept of marriage, settling down and all that, and drop the "gaming", as you so put it, not long affter. Show me a woman married for years with two kids and a FT job that really gives two sh*ts about how tight her tits look to the hubby. I've had girlfriends that dropped the stay thin/look good effort.

Maybe you should stick to giving the fairy tale, role playing kind of advice. It suits you.

 

[JT47319]

Originally posted by LJC
Don't be so naive. Most women encourage the concept of marriage, settling down and all that, and drop the "gaming", as you so put it, not long affter.

Now that really is naive shyt.

The entire point of the article is that women are as monogamous as men are. They want husbands and they want players.

You can get all AFCish and say that it's the "law" or whatever that's "encouraging" women to be "unfaithfal/playerish". But that's the way the male/female society has been operating, under the guise of civility and propriety.

Yeah they want marriage, but they also want their brains to get fycked out and their emotions sent on an rollercoaster of validation by a stud on the side.

You can either choose to be a Player bagging emotion seeking, validation junkie girls or a Borefriend that neither knows nor understands the unwritten rules of Playas & Girls.

 

[WestCoaster]

Go foreign or go single

There's a good line on nomarriage.com (a site that I don't completely agree with, but it has some good points):

The only reason you think your used American car is good is because you haven't driven a Porsche.


This saying has some merit. The only reason you think your b-tchy, controlling American girlfriend/wife is good is because you haven't dated a foreigner.

OK, not all American women are bad and there are some gems out there. You have dig through a lot of stones to get to those gems, unfortunately. Finding an educated, intelligent, funny, caring, attractive U.S. woman is tough. Finding a U.S. woman who will keep those qualities as a wife is tougher.

Why do they get like this? Because they CAN. Go to your grocery store and you'll see successful, decent-looking guys being nagged and dragged around by mean, fat U.S. women. It's mind boggling.

And while you're at it, spot the foreign woman and see how she respects her mate.

Add a society which has been AFCized and frankly your best bet is to go foreign.

 

[CharmaLeo]

Go to your grocery store and you'll see successful, decent-looking guys being nagged and dragged around by mean, fat U.S. women. It's mind boggling.
===========
It is mind boggling indeed. For the life of me I can not understand why they would put up with such a b1tch.

 

[LJC]

Originally posted by CharmaLeo

It is mind boggling indeed. For the life of me I can not understand why they would put up with such a b1tch.

Probibly becase he'd get an ass-reeming in a divorce and be stuck with allimony payments. She'll get the house and he'll end up eating canned ravioli in a studio apt.

But of course she's just being a natural woman who wants it all. It's his fault for not playing his tip top playa game...

I wanted to respond to some of the otheer posts, but I need sleep. Be back tomorrow.

 

[raven_82]

I saw this on the msn.com. I took a look at it. I disagree that it is just people, it is people and their decisions and babyboomers. Babyboomers want to feel like they are still sexually free even when they are 50 and have 4 kids.

 

[DJ_Dork]

I wouldn't say women are getting more power. However, in today's society..women feel they should be equal in men in cheating, that, and women are just as horny as men. If you are not a challenge/spontaneous with your woman, she will be bored and will stray. Same goes for guys. How many of you guys would actually like having a boring, domesticated woman who gives sex once a month and if she does..it's very boring. You'd go out to strip clubs, who-res for the action.

 

[LJC]

But this isn't the real issue here. The idea that women cheat is nothing new or profound. The problem is saying, "yeah ok, women should be more equal in this area, after all, men do it too", but what you end up seeing is the guy who usually gets the shafted deal in court.

How familiar is the term "deadbeat mom" to you? How often do you see or hear it thrown around in media? Is there a team of enforcement looking for divorced mothers who owe money to dad and the kids? How many divorced mothers DONT have custody?

THATS why I'm not buying into the DJ mind frame here. All of these "lonley ladies" want CEO positions men have, but they don't want the allimony payments men have. Women won't liberate themselves into it, and no politician has the guts. Equal my ass.

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by LJC

THATS why I'm not buying into the DJ mind frame here. All of these "lonley ladies" want CEO positions men have, but they don't want the allimony payments men have. Women won't liberate themselves into it, and no politician has the guts. Equal my ass.

Exactly, women want the pluses of power, but when it comes to the negitives of having power they want men to handle them like they are two-bit chumps.

 

[FlyGuy]

So according to this article, women cheat because their husbands are inadequate Typical female mindset, blame the guy. Because you know, its not like these women had any choice in marrying these men. Its not like they have free will and responsibility like anyone else

The women who cheat do it because
a)they can
b)they think they will not get caught
c)they have no honor or commitment
d)they convince themselves that they are justified so they don't feel as guilty.

So I guess its the same reasons that guys cheat ultimately, even if the details are different (I've never heard of a guy cheating on his wife because she didn't buy him flowers)

 

[entropy]

justification

"There have always been a second set of rules for STUDS. If you don't know the unwritten rules of Playerdom, than obviously you aren't part of the Secret Society"


Yeah right

So what your saying is, if you have to ask you'll never know?!?!
Why the hell are you on this site??? Shouldn't you be making your rounds in your pimp fiefdom?

Want to know why American men and women stray?

Because people like Ebach and Mr. Secret Society are becoming the majority of America (scratch that, the Western World). Little babies who go to any lengths to justify their behavior.

Here's an example of the typical greedy adolescence justification process...

Ebach: People slept with slaves and prostitutes in the past.....therefore that justifies my behavior.

(yes they did, and since we're seeking past behavior to justify our actions, I propose we bring back slavery, feudalism, witch-hunts, and genocide. I mean they did do it in the past, so it's justified right???)

Mr. Secret Society: I feel lust, I also feel envy, their natural emotions and because I feel this way I'm entitled to act upon it.

*The seven deadly sins evolved from the Greeks (Evagrius of Pontus drew up the first 8), they realized that investment solely in self stunted growth.
Show of hands....who likes a self-absorbed person?
Become a slave to any of these and you'll suffer, our ancestors knew this. Fraternity is essential to civilization, as is civil law.*

Which brings me to religion. Harp on it all you want, it is a necessary staple of society to control people with a reward/punishment system. Some people can't think for themselves, and someone like Ebach needs the threat of eternal damnation to be a decent human being. Religion (it's essence) is the evolution of common sense (sure it gets distorted just like every other human emotion, and sometimes it's bad). Aren't the ten commandments a good idea? Does it matter if a (in your opionon) fictional deity, was given credit with writing it? Isn't it sound advice? Well religion isn't popular anymore, so that's one factor.

Another is the community. People use to be close knit and cared what their neighbor thought as far as moral behavior went. The community is gone, and nobody cares about the neighbors opionon anymore (hence our high birth/ divorce rate).

Yet another is the institution of marriage. It's about as binding as a 15 year olds contract with colombia house. It isn't sacred anymore. In the past your word was something you kept and it reflected your character. Who's words good anymore? Nobody can be bothered with commitment, male or female.

But what it all comes down to is greedy, childish behavior.
Adults who want to be young, they grow old but don't grow up.
It's sad, and it's pathetic. And before I get attacked by the nihilist,
quoting Nietzsche (there's like no good or evil man it's a concept, life is a b*tch and then you die), consider this.......

Freedom, equality, right and wrong, etc. etc. are intangible ideals created in the minds of highly evolved organsims. There are no examples of them in nature. If our minds were our gifts, wouldn't it stand to reason that these are testimony to our greatness? It makes the world a better place, no?

Yet time and time again I see pathetic children on here drawing analogies and justification from the animal kingdom, and anywhere else they can find it. Come the fawk on, does an aardvarks mating habits have any relevance to you? Are you on par with a organism lower in the animal kingdom than homo sapiens? No the problem is a modern one, it has to do with justification of your less desirable traits.

p.s. womens libidos aren't as strong as men. Womens sex drives usually peak around the time of ovulation. Womens sexually peak is in their 30's and it has everything to do with the biological clock.
The sexes are not equal. Men feel less pain than women, men are stronger (blame testorone), etc. etc. This doens't mean men are superior, just that we are not equal.

 

[LJC]

Originally posted by FlyGuy

So I guess its the same reasons that guys cheat ultimately, even if the details are different (I've never heard of a guy cheating on his wife because she didn't buy him flowers)

Yeah. Not to mention Tiffanys jewelery, Compliments and Love notes...*ahem!*...Love notes!!

People trying to tell me these husbands were AFCs that earned the heartbreak, but if that's what it would have taken to keep these woman "happy & interested"...then who are the real chumps in the article here?

The article mentioned the second girl remarried (another guy). Anyone else notice Mr. "Love note" wasn't around for very long? Half the hubby's sh*t and some fancy jewelry to boot. Not a bad load.