"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Why am I such a nice guy?

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Nebula

Don Juan
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Maybe you guys can help. I dont like misleading girls. most of the time I look for one Im really interested in and date her. now I dont mind casual sex at all, but I feel like a total jerk when I just date a girl for sex, because I can tell theyre interested in something more. at the same time I dont want to say anything upfront because that will make me look like an ass.

it appears ive reached an impasse.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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everywomanshero

Master Don Juan
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Dude my guess is that you have a problem with assertiveness. You have to believe you have the right to ask for what you want, otherwise you're going to resent employers, wives, etc. My best advice is to find out how to become more assertive.
 
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daring wraith

Don Juan
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Nebula said:
Maybe you guys can help. I dont like misleading girls. most of the time I look for one Im really interested in and date her. now I dont mind casual sex at all, but I feel like a total jerk when I just date a girl for sex, because I can tell theyre interested in something more. at the same time I dont want to say anything upfront because that will make me look like an ass.

it appears ive reached an impasse.
Click to expand...
Don't worry about it, keep at the casual sex thing. You'll get used to it and become a moral vacuum in no time at all.

.....But seriously, don't overanalyse yourself or your situations, just accept them, take things as they come and deal with each scenario in the best way you know how.
 
P

pingpongz

Don Juan
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If you care so much just be upfront with the girl from the start and say something like:

"I would really like to just keep this casual as im not a fan of serious relationships and would like to just have fun while im young blah blah"
 
M

Maxwell

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I feel ya, nebula, I'm in the same boat.
19 years of being a painfully polite, selfless and philanthropic Nice Guy refused to be cancelled out by 6 months or so of attmepted to become a DJ.
I just feel like such a morally bankrupt scumbag when I pull the "semi-jerk" routine and deliberately aim for casual sex when I know they want a relationship. I get horrible guilt complexes.

(As a side note, I haven't actually got as far as sex yet)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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