Whup my ass...

[MrNiceGuy_loser]

Ok, this is gonna be a long one, not sure how many times I've screwed this up so feel free to whup my ass (I'm here to learn!!) if needed.

I'm a noob so advice too is appreciated, even in the form of links for me to read...

Here goes:

I work at a photography studio, I got a message on Facebook, on a Friday night, that someone was looking for 3 profile shots in a hurry, I got in touch with her and told her not to worry, come on over on Sat (to my apartment as the studio is closed for the weekend ) and I'll give her the pics on Sunday.

She came over, super cute, lots of fun, immediate chemistry.
We chatted, I took her pics, and asked her if she would like to work with me as a model on some other stuff... she said sure, and we made a time to meet up after a few days to talk about it.
Before she left she noticed I had a piano in my place, I played a few pieces for her (around 25 mins) and she was super impressed.
She was relaxed and smiling /joking by the time she left.

She's a flight attendant, 8 years younger than me (I'm 36).

We met again at a mall after around 4 days, I picked up some large boxes from a hardware store (like it was a normal day for me) , she met me outside the shop and we went to a coffee place in the mall.

She told me she was in a bad relationship for 6 years with a crazy guy and 3 kids, everytime she left him he would send the kids to ask her to come back and she used to feel sorry for the kids and go back, he was super jealous and possessive and 12 years older than her (this backstory is important, it comes up a bit later) we chatted about my past (36, never married, no kids) and then we chatted about the pics I took of her.

She was happy with the pics I gave her, I showed her the poses I would take of her and she said it was cool, so we headed back to my apartment in her car - she helped me with the boxes I had bought.

At my place I went in the kitchen to make some coffee and she was sitting next to the piano, I told her to sit on the piano chair and fool around with the piano while I make coffee...
she seems happy / excited to do so I left her alone in the first room, on the piano and came back with coffee... asked her to move over and played some of my best and hardest pieces for 10 mins.

Looked over and she was impressed

I offered to show her some basics and she accepted, told me she had no musical talent in her or her family... but surprised me at how fast she picked up stuff. So I got my laptop out and proceeded to give her a proper lesson for an hour... in which time there was plenty of laughter, joking, high fiving and at the end she played an entire (beginner) piece so she was super happy.

(Earlier) She told me she had to meet some friends that day so I was a bit tired after teaching for over an hour (I've never taught piano!) so I got up and she got up to leave, at the door she gives me this super tight hug for longer-than-usual, I wait out the hug then move her towards the wall, take her hands put them around my neck and lightly kissed her twice on her lips ...

then I backed up, not really sure why, the more I think about it the more I want to kick my own f'ing ass... but I backed up
I f'ing wussed out (((((((((((

We agreed to meet up in a few days when she's back in the city.





I then sent her this:

Hey ----

I thought you might want to keep this as it's the first song that you played completely! ... and in one class!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!

URL- HERE

Cheers!
-myname


====================================

She replied that was very kind of me... I waited a few more hours and thought I would bust her balls a bit as she referred to herself as a retard more than once on the piano, and get a bit cute as well, so I sent her this:



======
Dear Ms. X-X-X-X-X,

It has come to our attention that :

- you lied when you said you had no musical talent,
- you can play an entire song
- you can read music
- you can hear when the note is wrong

therefore we ask that you to kindly return your retard certificate, you are no longer welcome in our fun retard club.
We take being retarded seriously and you have made the true retards cry!!

I hope you are ashamed of yourself!

Yours faithfully,
-MyName
- President of the retards of the galaxy (private organization)

==========


Her reply


Hahahahaha. Omg

Im sorry i just had a good teacher im still a retard.

Pls dont cut me out the retardclub i really love it. Im a proud member.


=============

I sent her one more funny email about how well she did and didn't get a reply so I left it...




the next day (SMS conversation)

Hey! How are you doing this sunny day?

Hey. I need to be honest with you. I'm not interested in a relationship and im def not ready for one either. I hate to hurt people so I'm telling you now...
I'm just looking for friends, I was going to tell you this tonight but if you don't want to meet after this...


(That pssed me off, but I was not going to show it...)


Heavy stuff to start the day!!

Not looking for a proper relationship either, but I def find you interesting and would like to see more of you, professionally and personally!

I apprecate you trying not to hurt me, I'm doing the same

If two people enjoy each others company and one has a cute laugh and cute lips, I think there's a rule tht they have to date without getting serious!

Lighten up, the world is to have fun, not only be populated by psychos!


(she had referred to her ex as a psycho more than once, since we were going to be meeting later that night I wanted to show her I had options so I wrote another SMS)

But if you changed your mind about meeting me, let me know so I can adjust my plans please


I'm not dating either becaute it always ends up bad. I enjoy your company REALLY but just like friends, no kisses or anything. I'm sorry and you are an amazing person, so if you can deal with this you would have a real good friend.


XXXXX, I'm just out of a relationship that had a lot of "rules" and jealousy, I like being free, I would like to date you freely, no silly "pre-rules" as that's like a 'relationship'. I'm not looking for a mother for my three invisible children ; )

Anyways, I wussed out and wrote this (around 10 mins after my prev message)

i think you are a lovely warm persona and I love your energy, I'm looking to be your date and friend. Personally that does not sound so bad to me... but perhaps I'm a bit biased!


She didn't reply after that, I did't write again, we didn't meet that day.







I waited 4 days, and then mailed her that I accept her offer, lets meet to discuss terms... I sent her pictures of mosques and churches with tags that said "no kissing" suggesting we could meet there or she could wear a burka or I could wear the burka if it was not her style!

She replied via SMS:

You wear the burka and if you try kissing me I will hit you!

I replied:

She: Hard!

Sheesh... Flight attendants are so violent these days!

Haha, we have to be!

Next time I'm flying only on Emirates, the flight attendants are kinds... and don't hit!

She:


******************** Here's where thing's start to get a bit weird, or is it my imagination? ********

(Next day)

Hey! Back in town?

Yep!

Free or standby?

Free

Dinner?

Busy going out with friends tonight


Have fun!
Tomorrow?


Already plans I'm a little busy right now

talk later

(a min later)

and I'm also kind of angry so you dont want to talk to me right now!


Ohhhh! You're right, I would prefer to meet when you're angry... so I can meet and greet the monster within!
What happened?

(Messages back and forth where she tells me that she screwed up a job interview and I told her it would be cool or not meant to be... basically, tried to assure her

then I went : )

Lets meet for lunch, you can be angry at me instead as that seems to be your new hobby

Haha! I'm not angry with you!
...
My back hurts maybe thats why I'm angry

Nonesense! you like being angry with me
Lower back?

Yes

Come on over, I have hot oil and musical fingers to help

Haha! Thanks, but busy!


( I waited a day and wrote: )

Hey! Did it work out with that interview in the end?



That was two days back, and I have not heard a peep from her... I've been smoking so fing much now Im not thinking straight... advice guys? Places I f'ed up, could have done better and how to proceed?

Or am I wasting my time (and feelings) on someone who won't be returning it?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Were the three kids hers? Somehow I doubt it if she is a flight attendant. It's a job for women who are not into commitment.

You tried. It didn't work out. You probably could have fvcked her when she kissed you, but I would guess she would have still flaked on you like she ended up doing.

 

[MrNiceGuy_loser]

Were the three kids hers? Somehow I doubt it if she is a flight attendant. It's a job for women who are not into commitment.

You tried. It didn't work out. You probably could have fvcked her when she kissed you, but I would guess she would have still flaked on you like she ended up doing.

Nope, the three are her Ex's kids. She was with him from the time she was 20 or so...

Thanks dude, makes me feel better knowing the outcome would have probably been the same

Next move now? Wait a few days and sms or... ?

 

[marmel75]

Yeah, this stuff used to happen to me too...

Honestly it happens because you were acting like a little puppy dog who just went in the middle of a bunch of kids and couldn't wait to get pet. So excited, like you just won the lottery. Long texts, constant messaging, putting tons of effort into it...shows lack of options, lack of experience and lack of that mystery factor women need a little in the beginning.

Just relax...calm down. You don't need to act like a kid opening presents on Christmas morning. No need to be that excited. She is just a woman. What is the big deal.

But when you lack options you put excessive importance on the options you do have at the time.

 

[MrNiceGuy_loser]

No need to be that excited. She is just a woman. What is the big deal.

Can't tell you exactly what but... this one is different and super cute, have not met a woman like her in a long time


But when you lack options you put excessive importance on the options you do have at the time.

I recognize words of wisdom

 

[MrNiceGuy_loser]

She texted me back!

Said she was working and her interview went well, how am I doing...

I told her thats really cool, let me know when shes free and I'll give her a call...

she texted back, she went to sleep at 6am today and got up at 9 so she's hitting the sack

so I sent her a message saying "sweet dreams "


Not sure if I've been friendzoned

 

[Trump]

Bro few issues.

- Dont put emotion in text. It's in writing and they can use it against you for their own purpose.
- Your texts sound like you are 13, not 36. Texts should only be used to confirm a time and place.
- The girl has said you can't touch her under any circumstances, no kissing, no hugging, no intimacy, no sex, no nothing, that you can just be friends. You think about it for 4 days, and then tell her those terms are OK with you? Bro I hate to tell you but this girl is laughing hard on the inside. She has just told you she is OK with you validating her at all times and she doesn't have to give anything in return, and you agree? That's brutal.

Her: 'Hey. I need to be honest with you. I'm not interested in a relationship and im def not ready for one either. I hate to hurt people so I'm telling you now...
I'm just looking for friends, I was going to tell you this tonight but if you don't want to meet after this...'

You: NO RESPONSE.

If you were a King and had 100 beautiful women to choose from, would you respond to a woman who had a kid at 20, 23, and 27 who told you she wanted to be 'friends?' I'd be NEXTING so fast wouldn't be funny.

 

[Thatfeel21]

The problem is you're coming off as "bf" material, which is the exact reason she made it a point to tell you she doesnt want a relationship at this time. Dont be a provider, be the lover.

 

[Roober]

Too much stuff in text. You should always push the limits for sex. The only times I usually don't is the first time I meet iwth someone. However, If they end up at my house, it is a completely different story, all bets are off. Women have to know you are a sexual being and they will act accordingly. do not be afraid of your testosterone.

Don't think I have ever met a woman that walked away because I was too sexual. Ofcourse, if you are being completely tasteless, it is a different story. That will have mixed results.

 

[MrNiceGuy_loser]

- Your texts sound like you are 13, not 36. Texts should only be used to confirm a time and place.

Heh, I used to be that way and was told to put some emotion in it!

- ..., and you agree? That's brutal.

I didn't agree, I said lets meet to discuss terms
Basically, I wanted her back at my place so I figured we could meet out like last time and then ...

who had a kid at 20, 23, and 27

She never had any kids, her Exs

The problem is you're coming off as "bf" material, which is the exact reason she made it a point to tell you she doesnt want a relationship at this time. Dont be a provider, be the lover.

Is't it good to come off as BF material? All the qualities that she finds attractive...?
Learning... still don't know how to jump to lover in one step


@Roober,
Thanks dude, trying.. learning... hopefully will get something right before I say goodbye to this planet. At least this one has not used me (yet) like my exes so thats some progress (?)