"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Who texts who after first date?

flowtheory

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I’ve thought about this for awhile. Would it be in the man’s best interest to wait for the girl to follow up after the first date? As this would lead to only dealing with women with high interest level. As opposed to pursuing her after the first date. Or should we be assertive and text her roughly 24-48 hours after the date.

Thoughts?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Bullbearpig

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I'll send a short text just saying I had a goid time and gauge their interest by how they respond. As in all texting I do I always let the female send the last text though.
 

Knight of Roses

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I usually text to see if they got home safe. After that, I don't really think it matters much, I've had success with both scenarios: Women text me first and in which I text first. To be honest, in my experience, it doesn't really matter if she has high interest. As long as you aren't blowing up her phone being needy, it should be fine either way.
 

Serenity

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Honestly doesn't matter. Natural response is to reach out if you liked the other person, anything else is silly games. If we really have to resort to game playing because a woman loses interest because a man is interested, then she's too immature to be worthwhile. If a guy ever ruminates about a girl he's interested in not having contracted him, then he needs to check his ego because he lets it define his self-image.

Women also play the retarded waiting game. Someone has to reach out first.

I give it some time, but usually not more than 24 hours (if I'm interested). That leaves a window where she might go first. After a first date has ended I'll wait an hour and say I enjoyed our time (if I actually did), but leave it hanging for some time and not schedule a new date right away.
 

sazc

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I wait for them to text. After all, they are the man
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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AttackFormation

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Women who are interested don't care about who texts first. They just want to talk to you.

These kinds of rules are the worst, they're both inane and put the cart before the horse. If something like "texting her first" is enough to turn her off, she probably wouldn't have texted you anyway due to low interest, and she wasn't going to be any fun to be with anyway. That's always my recommendation... if you get headaches over these trivial things with a woman, you are either dealing with a woman who isn't interested in you or you are just creating canes (trivialities) to put in your own wheel.
 

Doctor Europeo

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Wait two-3 days and "So...How many days was I supposed to wait after the first date to text you?" It works for me.
 

devilkingx2

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If the date went amazingly or you think you ruined it, text her ASAP (obviously you want to show high interest in a girl who let you smash on the first date, but the latter case where you think you screwed up, you want to gauge how much SHE thinks you screwed up

If the date went normally wait a day or two so she has a chance to text you first, then either text her anything, or wait until you're ready to see her again soon to start texting
 

Mazer

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I have had better success with women who contact me first after our date.
 

guru1000

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Some girls will text first, others won’t. Depends on the rapport, her conditioning, her experiences.

Some girls have old school values or have been recently burned, and thus wait for you to initiate.

If you want to know her interest, reach out and ask for the date. All else is superfluous thinking.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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flowtheory

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I could agree with Amantes perspective. If a woman doesn’t text me immediately after the date or within 48 hours, I assume my game was off or I didn’t make her FEEL how she wants. So then I pack up shop and start searching again. On to the next. Because who wants a woman with medium or low interest?

Following up with her as a man, I feel like I’m chasing her and then doing it wrong, like I now have to try to gain her interest . But maybe I have an ego problem.
 

EyeBRollin

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Wait 5-9 days, then call her. If she doesn't answer, then send a text asking her out. The phone is for setting dates, not bull**** convos.

Some high-interest level women will contact you within this period. Some will take 2-3 dates to start initiating.
 

flowtheory

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Wait 5-9 days, then call her. If she doesn't answer, then send a text asking her out. The phone is for setting dates, not bull**** convos.

Some high-interest level women will contact you within this period. Some will take 2-3 dates to start initiating.
5-9 days!? Whoa
 

old_skoolr

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I don't disagree with you, but for me it isn't about following a rule or anything along those lines. It is only about how they feel after we part ways at the end of the date.

A woman who meets a man that makes her feel excited, giddy, bright eyed... Makes her feel like she's back in high school again with a major crush.... That is a woman who cannot resist reaching out, sometimes within minutes before you even make it back to your car.

Effective game is irresistible. They won't have the patience or self discipline to sit and wait for a text.

If I'm not having that effect on a woman, I consider my game to be off.

Aim high, friends.
This 100%%%%%%
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

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