"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Who is in the wrong here?

XxprodigyxX

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i was talking to this girl who just recently broke up with her bf. she use to have a crush on me so i thought everything would be cool. we'd go out a couple times and talk on the phone occasionally. well i found out she got back with her ex and i cut off all my connections with her and never called her. she called me the other day acting like everything was cool asking how my day was going and s**t. she called basically sayin we should still be friends cause she enjoyed my company...WTF was she thinking?!?...i told her i couldnt be her friend because things just dont work that way. i dont wanna be the fool she runs to about her problems...i dont want her to cry to me while shes f*****g him. she was pretty pissed saying i was immature for acting this way. i told her to have a good life and hung up...who is in the wrong here?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

flexion_

Master Don Juan
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I'm not sure which right wrong question you are asking. You did the right thing for essentially nexting her. I think you were wrong in the way you nexted her. You don't have to be angry or tell her off.

You most likely were always a friend in her mind but you thought otherwise in your mind when she temporarily broke up with her BF.
 

XxprodigyxX

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my fault...am i wrong for not being friends with her is what im asking...i know for a fact she has/had a thing for me cause i met her thru a friend who said she had a thing for me...haha...
 

Kitsune

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You did the right thing, sounds like she was looking to you to be an emotional tampon to cry on when things don't work out with her bf. Girls will always nearly pull the "Oh you're so immature" line when something doesn't go their way, but you acted right (although you really shouldn't tell her off) and nexted her, saving you a whole bucketload of trouble further down the line.
 

JonJack

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Originally posted by XxprodigyxX
my fault...am i wrong for not being friends with her is what im asking...i know for a fact she has/had a thing for me cause i met her thru a friend who said she had a thing for me...haha...
You don't have to be friends with her if you don't think she'll be a good friend. However, I don't think you'll make a good friend to her anyway.

Honestly speaking, it is extremely immature behaviour. A lot of the others would probably think otherwise, but if you would to actually look deeper into the reasons for your behaviour, you will come to the conclusion that you were being immature. Or maybe immature isn't the right word. A better word would be sensitive, emotional or demanding.

But then again, if you really have no use whatsoever for female friends, then there really is nothing to discuss here.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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zerocelcius

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you started being friends with her thinking she was going to get with you, and when she didn't you threw a fit.

Right or wrong I don't know.
 

XxprodigyxX

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i was never her friend..we were acquaintances. but yeah...its all good. im not really trippin off it. thanks fellas.
 

spider_007

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you put it to her in a very bad way....

You should have said; "I do want to keep in touch, hawever, it would be way to wierd being around you and hearing; the good, bad and the ugly about you and yourr b/f. While at the same time having a crush on you. You understand what I mean".

You decide haw much you talk to her. What ever you feel comforatable with......If you don't feel like answering her phonecalls, DON'T.
 

jprjrjr

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You did the right thing. What's immature about not wanting to be somebody's emotional tampon?

If she knew you liked her, and she started seeing her ex without telling you, that's a bit fvcked up.

Don't listen to these AFC's telling you that you were immature. You put your foot down, and let her know where you stand. She has her rules, you have yours.

If she doesn't like it, tell her to hike it.
 

Life-Trainee

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Repeat after me. Say one thing, do another! You didn't have to burn her off like this. This was bad planning on your side. You should've agreed to being her friend but intentionally avoid being her emo tampon. When you show you intentions you introduce variables that may turn against you.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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