"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Who do you think cheats more? Men or women?

Travel memoir21

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This had me really thinking because Ive had some engage women giving constant hearts reaction to my posts on facebook or women whom I didn’t know were married have flirty conversations with me over text…and plus not to mention the number of times some of my friends got screwed over by their girlfriends. Which led me to the question who really does cheat more these days? Men or women? It’s looking more like the latter to me….what do you guys think?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Scaramouche

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Hi TravelMemoir,
I don't think a high proportion of women cheat,but those that do,seldom just do it the once!
 

Westminster

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These days, women. Partly because of numbers inasmuch as there are a lot more single men than women.

But also, the power dynamic has changed and now women are far less economically reliant on men so therefore they're able to cheat and empowered to do so.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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SW15

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The gap has been narrowing for decades on this. It started before the smartphone and social media. Smartphones and social media have helped women seeking infidelity in so-called monogamous relationships.

Men have more desire to cheat in a monogamous relationship but less opportunity to do so. Women have less desire but more opportunity.

I think the type of relationship matters too. I think there's a difference between cheating levels in marriages vs. non-marital relationships. In non-marital relationships, I think women might cheat slightly more because those are younger couples. However, it is possible that non-marital relationships break up before cheating can happen.

Cheating is a concept that is applicable in monogamous relationships. Non-monogamous relationship types are growing too and there's much less of an infidelity concept in those.

Male cheating is not equally distributed. The top tier men that commit to women cheat because they are top tier men with many options. Many top tier men are now not getting into committed, monogamous due to abundance mainly from swipe apps. There are some middle aged betas that cheat, usually using the power of a high salary in order to get some side action. Betas in relationships without money likely aren't cheating due to lacking the opportunity to do so.
 

Travel memoir21

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Lol....in the 1950's It was the Men who was cheating more. But man....since the rise of third wave feminism women have been closing that gap so to speak. Especially with apps like Tinder, facebook, instagram and the terrible cultural climate we've got now....the playing field has been leveled...... lol, do me a favor and don't end up in an episode of cheaters for me.

 

zekko

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i'd have said men pre smart-phone, but women now lol
I used to say men, partly because more men state promiscuity as a goal.
Or maybe it's even. Takes two to tango, you know.
But now I might believe it's women. Just because even if more men want to cheat, it's more readily available to women. And they don't even have to initiate it.
 

plumber

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I used to say men, partly because more men state promiscuity as a goal.
Or maybe it's even. Takes two to tango, you know.
But now I might believe it's women. Just because even if more men want to cheat, it's more readily available to women. And they don't even have to initiate it.
this is the number one reason that the term insecure has gotten so much traction. often men just like women know they are getting cheated but are shamed into allowing it by women AND other men now. we don't hear/see a lot of fuss about insecure women, because they are allowed to defend themselves without shame.

we often see threads about what to do when a woman is showing signs of cheating or going to the hunting grounds. and we know we will be shamed if we complain without proof of seex.

but how does knowing that help us?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Bokanovsky

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I'd say both men and women are equally likely to cheat. Cheating is a product of both self-control (or lack thereof) and opportunity. Just because someone hasn't cheated yet, doesn't mean they wouldn't if the right opportunity presented itself.
 

zekko

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I have to laugh because this is a famous "opener" question for PUAs. Might have come from Mystery, I think? "Who cheats more, men or women?".
 

SW15

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I have to laugh because this is a famous "opener" question for PUAs. Might have come from Mystery, I think? "Who cheats more, men or women?".
This is true. It was a famous opener from Mystery.
 
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