"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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"Who are you here with?"

asdfghjkl

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For some reason, girls always seem to ask me this question. For example, last night i saw a HB7 that i knew, but none of my friends did. So, a little while passes and i decide to go over and talk to her. This is the first question she asks me after the hellos and everything. This has happened alot of times, with girls i know well and girls i dont.

I thought about it and came up with a few reasons why they keep asking this
  1. Their just feeding their addictions to social proof
  2. I always smell nice, maybe they think im on a date?
  3. Their just making passing conversation...

Any thoughts?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Sean O

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Well, let me put it this way: for what reason would you ask a girl who she's with?
 
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Well, think of a ****y and funny reply to that - "why would you want to know, you want me to be your escort or something? "

That's off the top of my head. ****y and funny.
 

DJDamage

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Luke Skywalker said:
Well, think of a ****y and funny reply to that.
That is pretty much it. As soon as you start answering her questions seriously you lose all your mystery and mystique. Insert a ****y and funny comment that will lead to a funny conversation and take it from there.

"I am here with my mommy"
 

asdfghjkl

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Sean O said:
Well, let me put it this way: for what reason would you ask a girl who she's with?
See, that's the problem im having because i wouldn't ask that question in the first place haha.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Incog

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She wants to know if you are socially valuable. If you tell her who you are with, she will analyze and determine based on that.

That is the only reason.

I like DJDamage's response.
 

Oxide

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Friends... what the **** kind of question is this? Lemme think, who are YOU here with? Are your friends hot? Are they thinner than you?
 

azanon

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"I'm supposed to be here with somebody?" * smile *

I'd probably avoid the excessively smartass response or overly reactive response unless you decided right then that you don't want her. Overreating takes some power from you because you're basically losing your cool when doing it.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Chemistry

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It's small talk... chick has no line so she asks that question...

If you're in good spirits tell her that you're there with your wingman... undoubtedly that will kick start the conversation and she'll wonder what a wingman is... then you can make a wingman whatever you want to make it... you want to give her his totally not true sob story so she fixes him up with one of her friends, go right ahead... lol
 

azanon

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Oh yeah, if you actually did come with someone or a few people, then the truth would be a perfectly fine answer. No reason to make a mound out of a mole hill.
 

amoka

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I like Luke Skywalker's response: "why would you want to know? would you like me to be your escort or something....".
 

asdfghjkl

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azanon said:
Oh yeah, if you actually did come with someone or a few people, then the truth would be a perfectly fine answer. No reason to make a mound out of a mole hill.
Yea, that's what i usually do, because i always go places with my friends. But i think next time i get asked this question im goin to try to use some C&F, nothing too big, maybe what DJDamage said.

Thanks for the input guys
 
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