Whiskey Fueld Bootcamp

[OldNumb3r7]

What the hey. I need to get my ass in gear, I guess Im starting a bit late in here, but better late than never. A little background on meself:

Age: 21 (Ill be 22 on Oct 3)
Height: 5'8'' kinda short
Weight: 158 (up from 135, but I need to start lifting again)
GFs: 2

So Ive had 2 steady chicks my whole life. Ive been with more girls than that though. I think total 6. Kinda bad But Ive always been shy. The ugly years ruined my self image. I think Ive improved a bit since then. If anyone cares to see what I look like:

http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=G8OUOUN&key=NPR

thats me...kinda of a stupid picture.

I guess my main problems are that Im very shy when it comes to approaching girls. If Im introduced usually I can do pretty well, but making initial contact isnt a strong point for me. Also, I dont think too highly of myself. I dont take compliments well and Im usually pessimistic. I want to change that most about myself. Im known as kinda always down and sad. I dont like that people see me in that way. Im really not like that all the time.

So, maybe this will be the beginning of a change for me. To quote teh great Pook: "As you think, you shall become". That is my new quote that I need to remind myself of daily. Hopefully I can get some support from the board etc.

So whats 1st on the list? Thanks in advance and good luck to all who are also in the bootcamp!

 

[xblitz44x]

Hey, welcome. Your first task and the most difficult has to be self-acceptance. There are going to be girls out there who think you are hot, girls who think you are ugly, girls who think you are 'ok and would do you, girls who think you are nice and attractive but just wouldn't touch you sexually. It always depends on the woman. You being constantly self-conscious and pessimistic is not going to change the way they look at you for the better. So you might as well embrace yourself and be proud of yourself.

This might take some work. First, try to figure out exactly WHY you feel so self-conscious? Why don't you feel so highly about yourself? Is there an experience(s) that shaped your perception in that direction. Usually you can easily go back and realize how silly it was and begin to shift your paradigm the right way. But again, it's going to take effort. Expect to feel self-conscious and 'ugly' (especially when you're talking to a 'hot' girl) and face down with it. See how silly it is that you feel that way and discard of it.

Once you do this, you'll be able to see simple situations (like approaching a girl, or a girl not calling you back) for what they are in reality, and not through a lens muddied by your own insecurity and pessimism. If you don't take the step to accept yourself and figure out your insecurities you're going to have one hell of a time and you'll find that you're never really satisfied; even if you DO bang girl after girl. They will only be crutches to validate your own self worth because you can't do it yourself.

The game isn't you getting girls to like you. It's you getting YOU to like you. The "girls" part will take care of itself. Good luck.

Blitz

 

[MrCode]

Blitz gave excellent advice. Seriously, the road to happiness is one you take alone. While your friends and girlfriends can certainly add to your happiness, they cannot create it. You must be happy in yourself, satisfied with who you are.

Once you are at that place, girls rejecting you won't matter, because you will know that they are the ones missing out.

Regarding the Boot Camp, I'm about to complete week 1, and I think making the decision to do this has been one of the best decisions of my life. Seriously, if you really put your mind to doing this and stick to it, you will be amazed at the change.

I just went to lunch and was messing around with this cute girl in line in front of me. I had no ulterior motive, no desperate need to get her number, I was just being friendly. But it was still really fun, and honestly if I had done a little more I could have probably gotten her number. But I tell you what, a week ago I would not have done anything!

Making eye contact and saying hi to people is now second nature to me, and it has only been a week!

Seriously, join up the boot camp and make a serious commitment. You won't recognize the man you are at the end, because you will have finally become the person you always dreamed you could be.

 

[OldNumb3r7]

Damn.........thanks for the very inspiring words. Tomorrow will be my 1st day of saying "hi" to people. Simple enough task I suppose. Also I think trying to be nicer to customers at work would help me out a bit. The problem with my workplace is that there are alot of negative people there. I guess I have to start stepping away from that.

As far as my self image. I guess it was created by years of being ignored by chicks. I just never felt good enough around the hot ones. My first gf came to me in 11th grade. We dated for a long time and today are best friends still. Its a good situation bc I can easily get a female perspective on things.

My second girlfriend who was "hot". THats the one that messed with me. She cheated on me etc. I cried like a woman. Blah....Ive been with prob 2-3 other "hot" chicks since then. Id say 8's and then maybe two 7s. I mean I'm not hideous I dont think I could land a 10, but I dont think I could deal with a 10.

Anyhow tomorrow is a new day. A new challenge. So it begins.....

 

[OldNumb3r7]

Mid Day Report

Well I think Im doing pretty good today. Talked to people in class including two attractive girls that sit around me. Class got cancelled so we talked for a bit then everyone left. Walking through campus I noticed that most people walk head down and dont want any eye contact so "Hellos" were few today.

One thing I did mess up. We went to lunch and I was setting my stuff down on a table. There is a very attractive girl a few tables away sitting alone. She looked up at me a few times and made eye contact, but I stalled and didnt do anything....... Grrr!

 

[MrCode]

One step at a time man. While it is good to push yourself, don't beat yourself up if you don't talk to a girl or get a number at this stage of the game.

Just worry about getting the eye contact and hi's, and if you happen to meet some cool girls, talk, and get some numbers, all the better. But don't try to push yourself too hard.

It will all come in time.

 

[xblitz44x]

"I guess it was created by years of being ignored by chicks. I just never felt good enough around the hot ones."

Yeah which is the problem of MOST of the guys in the community. And at least you're addressing the problem rather than trying to come up with ways to ignore it and to compensate for something that you think you lack. Really, "hot" girls *are* the same as everybody else. They are just women. They operate the same way.

"My second girlfriend who was "hot". THats the one that messed with me. She cheated on me etc. I cried like a woman."

We've all been there. But this experience was extremely relavent to you because it shaped your paradigm for the worst. It made you believe that you truely weren't good enough for 'hot girls' and that they are going to cheat and find somebody who is. The TRUTH that you have to consciously realize here is that she didn't cheat on you 'because' she was hot. An 'ugly' chick could have (and has) done the same thing to another guy. Your perception of her being 'hot' has nothing to do with her straying. You're mistakingly thinking that SHE feels the same way about you that YOU do....just because she's hot. Do you see how silly it all is?

So you have to consciously grasp this. "hot" doesn't mean "is going to cheat on you". Hot just is an opion that you have of somebody's exterior. Period. However you're attracted to that for the PURPOSE of being self-conscious so that you finally address it and see how silly it is.

If you can do that, and see talking to a girl as just that, talking to a girl, and not being some HUGE ordeal that requires scripts, and three second rules, and negs and shyt, you'll be SO far ahead of the game that you won't need to set foot on this site again because you'll see how silly it is to overcomplicate a simple thing. If we all did this, we wouldn't need the techniques.

Good luck.

-Blitz

 

[OldNumb3r7]

Some good success last night. Went to the mall and said "hello" to some people, who all smiled and returned the greeting. Saw other people I knew and talked to them, made eye contact, projected well etc. Then the night came.........

Went to the place where I work 1st to get some drinks in with a friend of mine. The one girl Ive been flirting with for awhile was working. We were suppossed to do something on Monday, but she said she got sick, I think she flaked out on me. Anyhow we talked and flirted(shes a bartender w/ me). She asked what we are doing this weekend. So thats a good thing.

Then we left to goto another bar. She blew me a kiss etc when I left. So at the other bar this other chick I know was there. I pimped her pretty good. My ex and her bf was there. So we talked since we're good friends etc. She complimented me alot all night. The other girl though I had all over me. Most of the night we all sat around and bs'd. She was sitting on my leg or she had her arm around me the whole night. Kissing, kino, all that jazz. So I felt good.

Then I get a text from the hot bartender girl while Im with the other one saying "Damn........Mr Handsome". Also cool. So I mess around with the one for the rest of the night, then when we leave I call the bartender back. She was in bed. So we talked for a bit. She complimented me alot. Ill see her tonight.

Progress....Goooooood.

 

[MRomeo99]

You're kicking it dude. Keep it flowing. Congrats on taking the challenge.

M

 

[OldNumb3r7]

Got some hellos in today. Im going to work soon.....prob report tomorrow.

 

[sharpshooter]

You remind me of me. 5'8, muscular, thinks highly of himself, can be a master if introduced to a chick or if there's a reason to talk to one. Just have the same problem approaching the random one.

 

[OldNumb3r7]

Well some success last night I think. Flirted with the bartender girl a bit when i was there. We decided to go out to the mall today, and she said she'd come see me at work tomorrow. I think I had some good DJ moves. I watched one dude crash and burn trying to pick her up. Later on when we were talking. I looked at her took her hand and in my best DJ smooth voice I said "L (*We'll call her L), lets run off together. Just pick and go. Catch a train and run it till it ends. Lets leave it all behind here" She loved it. Shes like Ill go anywhere with you lets go.

Report later if warranted.

 

[OldNumb3r7]

Success!

BAM!

So me and L went out to the mall and it was a great time! I had her laughing the whole time. She was still talking about how I dissed the one dude that tried to pick her up. So we go walking through the mall looking at clothes etc. She getting pretty flirty. We are in one store and she pulls me over and I just take her hand and we finally hold hands. After that it was cake. Id walk off in a store and she'd come over kiss my back and hold my hand. It was all good.

Later on that night she came up to see me at work. I kinda kept my distance a bit, but she came back to me all the time. Invites me out to a party later as well.

So I meet her at this party. Also had a good time. Take her home and he hug in the car and just start going at it. Im kissing her and I think its done. Nope. She kept going back for me. She likes "I cant help it. Youre so bad. I just want to keep kissing you" Im just like "what? Im an angel. youre the one all over me" she got a kick out of that. When she gets out of the car I turn to grab my cd's and hear a tap on the window. Shes like "Roll your window down". So I do and she climbs halfway into the car and starts kissing me again. It was great.

So I think I did ok. She called me today. I talked for a few mins and told her I was watching the game. So she said she'd call back later.

Snap!

 

[jakethasnake]

It's amazing how fast one's perspective can change depending on a couple of seemingly random acts that lead to more random events. Imagine that you had decided not to flirt with your bartender ladyfriend because you were feeling down. You'd be on this very thread whining about how no one likes you.


The Lesson? All it takes is that first step and a good positive attitude!

 

[jakethasnake]

By the way, I don't think that you're as "sad" or "bad looking" as you make yourself out to be. I've certainly seen worse around these parts. You've got that frat boy/rocker thing going on with your college dorm room, guitar, and necklace. You were probably just feeling insecure about yourself (even decent to good looking guys get this way from time to time), and were fishing for assurances from us. Come on - admit it.

 

[OldNumb3r7]

Lol. Thanks for the cool post Jake. Dont know about frat boy though. I guess its a good pic of me. Im self conscious about my ears though. Kinda stick out I think. Ill have to dig a up a pic.

But youre very right about the attitude. Ive almost always been happy and smiling around this girl. It has paid off greatly. I have a good sense of humor thats unique and she digs it I guess.
Also Ive never put myself down in front of her which is the case sometimes when I meet a girl. Also Ive been kinda ****y at the right times too. Especially when another guy was hitting on her. She still comments on that.

I guess Im running my game good right now. Cant let it turn into one-itis though.

 

[OldNumb3r7]

So shes texts me last night and says how she's been thinking of me all day, etc. Looking good so far.......

 

[OldNumb3r7]

I got some hellos in today. I was feeling pretty good about myself bc of the weekend. Then I goto work today and about and hour into my shift the girls texts me again with " =) xoxoxo" So I thought that was pretty cool. Shes gotta be diggin me a little bit. Thats two nights in a row, unprovoked.

Now onto my problem.

I really dont want to fall too quick for a girl. Im trying very hard not to call her. Havent since saturday to confirm going out. She called me on Sunday, texted me later that night, and text me today. Now I think shes pretty down with me but I dont want to ruin it. Im almost afraid of my success thus far and Im waiting for something to go wrong.

I have to think that "yes, I am good enough for her" I do have alot to offer, but I dont want to fall into AFC mode. Any suggestions? Do you think Im just paranoid?

 

[jakethasnake]

Find... Another.... Girl.


Nothing kills nervousness and self-doubt like having more than one girl on rotation. You develop a certain je-ne-sais-quoi, a swaggering, a confidence about you that is a total mystery. Trust me on this.

 

[OldNumb3r7]

Well I do have one chick I see on thurs night, I know she wants me too. But shes not what I want really.

Thanks for following my journal btw. Cool to see someone reads this drivel.