while i am posting all over the place...

[gentleman193]

i signed up for a summer school class hoping to meet some interesting women to practice seduction techiques on. unfortunately, while a lot of women showed up, none of them are worth seducing. they are just not attractive. the question is, should i make friends with the cool ones?

on the plus side, i am sick of my current crowd, it might be fun to hang out with some new people, have an excuse to go do some new things.

but on the minus side, i know how this always goes: i want a friend, they want a boyfriend, if i'm not interested in being BF they take it personally, and even if they accept the ljbf deal they still have their hopes up and never introduce me to any other woman out of jealousy and i can't talk about other women. plus, having unattractive women around scares off the attractive ones, there's a risk you run into a date while hanging out with your gal pal, and to a large degree they are just not "there" as a friend.

this is, of course, the exact opposite of the younger days, when i was the one getting ljbf'd by attractive women who thought i was cool and interesting but not in "that way."

i think what i really want is my college buddies back so we can hit the gym at midnight, go on 12h road trips, get lost in the woods, wander drunk from the bars, fight over the same stupid hos, crash weird parties, and all that stupid fun shlt. i don't know where the fukk you find guys like that anymore. most are whipped, the others are alcies or workaholics or dressed up prisses or worse.

anyway, should i try being friends with the cool chicks or just blow them off and stick to supermarket and street corner pu's? also, where are 30 yr old guys here having a great time like the old days? i want to have some freakin fun again!

 

[dietzcoi]

I am afraid it will get even worse. I cannot find a single guy in his forties who wants to go out. All my peers are married, or single workaholics, or loser AFCs, etc. The older you get the less chance you have to find a bunch of guys to do anything.

Personally I would not waste my time on the UGs in your class. They will drag you down, every minute wasted on them is a minute you won't get back. They won't introduce you to HBs and they will cause you to get the bad reputation of hanging around with UGs.

A friend once told me "never date UGs, you will get the reputation of liking UGs and the HBs will have no respect for you" Could not be truer, even if they are just "friends".

Don't lose social proof! I have been there in my ski club... it takes forever to climb back up to where you need to be!

Dietzcoi

 

[WestCoaster]

Just date up a storm

First off, my theory is to date, date, date. It's a numbers game. Remember, if these gals want a BF and you don't want to be the BF, don't be the BF. A DJ controls what he wants in the relationship.

The one thing that really attracts women (IMO) is being seen with another woman, whether that woman is drop-dead gorgeous or not. If you're with a not-very-attractive woman, the other women will see that nothing phases you and that you're confident no matter who you're with. If you're with an attractive woman they'll become more jealous and try to win you away from the attractive woman.

Case in point: In grad school I often met a friend of mine (very hot) for coffee. I'd usually get there early to read the sports page. Like clockwork, the women in the shop would not look at me until my friend would arrive, then they'd start looking at me. I wanted to yell, "Hey women, I'm the same guy 20 minutes ago reading about college football as I am now sipping coffee with the hottie. Wake up!"

But women don't process like this. Their world is full of stereotypes and assumptions ... so date up a storm, have fun, find out what you like, don't analyze these situations so much. You might end up with a good friend at the least.

* The older you get, the fewer 1 a.m. drunken outings we have ... sorry! Oh yeah, if you're fighting over women, you're an AFC. A DJ never has to fight for a woman!

 

[FratAndDiddy]

good post bro

I'm 46 and never felt better. Everyday i go out somewhere i see some poor ole sap being drug around by his ole lady. These saps used to be the guys i hung out with. most cant get away for fear of being horsewhipped by ole snaggletooth when they go home. most guys i see out there that are my age and single walk around with there head up their ass feeling sorry for themselves cause "the ex" raped them of everything they had. i have no desire to hang with them anymore. one fella still bellyaches about his ex after 2 freakin years. man, grow a pair and get on with it.

i would like to have the old time fun again but it looks like i have to blaze my own trail out there. i hang with guys in their 30's. at least these fellas have a bit of life left in them.

dont hang with UGs. some will make the moves on ya later on and then they get mad and move on anyways. keep your pride and social status intact. let the ugly broads hang with their fellow uglies.

 

[dietzcoi]

Man do I love reading the posts from you "older guys"

Nice to know somebody out there understands........

Dietzcoi

 

[Hot Ice]

Re: Just date up a storm

Originally posted by WestCoaster
First off, my theory is to date, date, date. It's a numbers game. Remember, if these gals want a BF and you don't want to be the BF, don't be the BF. A DJ controls what he wants in the relationship.

Eh, I'd like to point out that you should get the chick in bed ASAP.
If you don't really prefer dates yourself, don't just date much with a same woman. This girl I sleep with right now with I've known over month; I got her in bed the first night I met her and haven't had a single date with her, well we have had a walk and had just watched a movie once, but it's mostly about getting together and have sex.
One time she was like "hey, can't we go for a coffee?" and I replied something like "nah, just come over at my place."
Usually, we just agree a time when she comes over at my place to have sex. I'm gonna keep it this way since no way I'm gonna be her BF.

Remember that the main thing is that you are happy, otherwise just walk away without looking back.

 

[Jay Gatsby]

Originally posted by gentleman193
i think what i really want is my college buddies back so we can hit the gym at midnight, go on 12h road trips, get lost in the woods, wander drunk from the bars, fight over the same stupid hos, crash weird parties, and all that stupid fun shlt. i don't know where the fukk you find guys like that anymore. most are whipped, the others are alcies or workaholics or dressed up prisses or worse.

also, where are 30 yr old guys here having a great time like the old days? i want to have some freakin fun again!

I hate to break it to you, but the days you describe are more or less gone forever unless YOU recreate them in your own image.

In college, we all had buddies who would do all of the things you described, and then some. Why? Because society approves of men doing those things while in college. However, to borrow a line from Animal House, "fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life." Once you and your buddies graduated and entered the workforce, society (in the form of parents, sibilings, girlfriend(s), employers, etc...) sent the loud and clear message that all of you needed to grow up and be responsible. What the phrase "be responsible" means is open to interpretation, but suffice it to say, at the very least it means to conform to what most people are doing (i.e., what your parents, sibilings, girlfriend(s), employers, etc... are doing). The last thing they want is for you and your buddies to remain as mentally, socially and financially free as you were during college, since that would remind them of what they've given up to "be responsible." Put a different way, society has an agenda for your life, and woe be to the man who tries to thwart that agenda without permission.

Numerous posts here have commented on the decline of the DJ and the rise of the AFC in the post-college world, so there's no need to repeat them here. To avoid that fate, you need to step up and become a leader of a group of like-minded men, whether they are naturally like you or are RAFC's. By leading men towards the re-discovery of their freedom/former glory, you are in control of the experience, and are not at the mercy of society.

So what's the first step? You need to decide that what society wants for you is not what you want. Although you may think that you've made this decision already, you probably haven't, since you're complaining about the issue. In witnessing the decline of your contemporaries, you're probably asking yourself whether what they're doing is what you should be doing. To resolve this doubt, you need to carefully observe and consider whether what your contemporaries are experiencing is what you want to experience. If it isn't, then you need to completely reject such a fate, and NEVER give it another thought.

The second step is deciding what you want; formulate a crystal-clear vision of your future. Once you do, you will become a magnet for like-minded people who want the same things you do, or who would like to escape what society has planned for them.

The third and final step is execution -- transforming your vision into reality. There will be friction between your vision and the agenda society has for your life, but such friction should be of no consequence, since you don't care what society thinks anymore. Eventually, society will leave you alone, and you will rise above the mediocrity that is endemic to it. You will truly be the master of your fate, and the society that immediately surrounds you will conform to your vision.

 

[Jay Gatsby]

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[Jay Gatsby]

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[WestCoaster]

I say go back to being fat, drunk, and stupid!

Great Animal House reference by the way. Love that movie.

I say go back to being fat, drunk, and stupid ... sans the fighting over women. A DJ doesn't have to fight for any woman.

Call me when you have this night on the town. I'd like to join you as at my late age I'm trying to cultivate the "bad boy" image that I never had! :>) (How do you get the real icons to paste in text?)

 

[WestCoaster]

No offense Hot Ice, but you're 18

... it might be past your bedtime. Just kidding.

You don't know enough about life to be telling people to just get women in bed ASAP.

I have some terms for people like that: The first one is DIVORCED. The second ones are STDs, the third ones are lack of building any significant relationships.

If you haven't noticed the title here, it's the mature man board. You might want to join the pimps and players (yeah right, 99 percent of them are LYING) on the other board.

Not some here aren't looking for what you said, but to be honest I find it incredibly humorous that at 18 one could try to give advice to people twice his age and think he's pulling it off.

Try living away from mommy's house first, then go from there.

Sorry to be brutal, but frankly an 18-year old has nothing to offer me in terms of advice, unless they want to tell me how to dress poorly and listen to sh-t music.

By dating, you actually find out what kind of person you want to be in a relationship with ... you'll learn this down the road. Right now I'd work on your internal qualities first because from my vantage point, you're working your way to being just another divorced man down the road ready to pay alimony up the a$$.

 

[wind2sail]

Seems to me that Dietz and WCoaster have expressed here the very two contradicting answers to an essential question.

Does having UGs around you wreck your chance of hitting on HBs?

From the obvious attitude I pretty much agree with what our German friend says:

A friend once told me "never date UGs, you will get the reputation of liking UGs and the HBs will have no respect for you" Could not be truer, even if they are just "friends".

BUT. We all know how unsecure girls are, when comparing themselves with their competition. Many HBs I've known were probably the least self-confident of all girls.

There's also the almost rule of thumb that lack in girls' looks is balanced by their IQ. So the nice looking ones might just start to question their intelligence. Why is this guy I might have been interested in hanging around with such an ugly girl? When they see you having both a decent convo, they might think: He might enjoy talking with her about all the things that I just didn't understand...

It's also without any doubt that coming to a party, bar or any other place accompanied by any girl - or better more of them - immediately boosts your alpha status in others' eyes.

So unless the respective girl is <3 I'm sure it will actually help you taking her out occasionally with you. No doubts about it.

 

[WestCoaster]

Who cares what HB's think?!

First off, does anyone's outside opinion even matter? If the woman or women you're trying to impress rate and judge people by their exterior looks, you do NOT want to be with them.

One of the most disgusting things in America IMO is seeing a bunch of women sitting around gossiping and judging other women by their looks, without even knowing them as people.

Perhaps it's because I work in student services, have worked in mental health, and in a helping profession, and you definitely do NOT know what a person is like until you get to know them.

A TRUE DJ can hang with so-called UGs, HBs, inbetween and is NEVER worried about what anyone thinks. He's so confident he can walk down the street with anyone.

I saw a hot gal in a wheelchair the other day and if I knew her, to be honest, I'd ask her out in a heartbeat. I see that there are some smart guys at my school who are already trying to get to know her! They're confident and not worried what others think.

When are we going to start worrying about what others think and be true DJs?

Do you REALLY want to be with any kind of disgusting woman who thinks others are beneath her because of their looks? That's sick and those women can all go to h-ll in my book.

 

[Hot Ice]

... it might be past your bedtime. Just kidding.

Yeah, whatever.

You don't know enough about life to be telling people to just get women in bed ASAP.

Oooohhh, so you must have been married to know things about life. Depends on what do you want. I was just pointing out that you don't have to date IF YOU DON'T WANT. If you want to do it, go for it!

I have some terms for people like that: The first one is DIVORCED. The second ones are STDs, the third ones are lack of building any significant relationships.

Don't give me that BS that you have to be divorced or mentally unstable to be completely happy without some "significant relationship". Only a stupid man gets STD's. I admit that I haven't had really deep relationships, but I'd still say that you do not have to date, date, date, date and date before going to bed even if you want a serious relationship. Period.

If you haven't noticed the title here, it's the mature man board. You might want to join the pimps and players (yeah right, 99 percent of them are LYING) on the other board.

Not some here aren't looking for what you said, but to be honest I find it incredibly humorous that at 18 one could try to give advice to people twice his age and think he's pulling it off.

Try living away from mommy's house first, then go from there.

Sorry to be brutal, but frankly an 18-year old has nothing to offer me in terms of advice, unless they want to tell me how to dress poorly and listen to sh-t music.

By dating, you actually find out what kind of person you want to be in a relationship with ... you'll learn this down the road. Right now I'd work on your internal qualities first because from my vantage point, you're working your way to being just another divorced man down the road ready to pay alimony up the a$$.

Honestly I can't believe what I'm just reading.... grandpa.

For your information, this board is just for me, not the pimps and players.
The fact is, you don't know absolutely nothing about me but my age and the country I live.

Many guys are still looking for what I just said before. And many are looking for what you said before. Nothing wrong with that.

But to be honest I'm so tired of people like you making these assumptions and generalizations by age. No offence, almost all people that are several years older than me make those assumptions I'm just a kid. Let me tell you that all my best friends are 25+ some are way over 40. No, they are not my relatives, they are people I have a good time with.
Usually when I meet a new person that is way older than me I've had told MANY times "oh my god I can't believe I'm talking a person as young as you!", but after few minutes of conversation I haven't heard it from the same person ever again.
And in a matter of fact, I've lived alone for few years now.

By the way who are you to say I dress poorly and listen to sh-t music????

And what goes for dating, I know what kind of woman I want. It's just been a hard time finding what I want. Plus, you are none good to say I should work on my internal qualities. I believe I just have to wait for few years to find someone who meets my qualities in maturity and "internal qualities".


Pardon me that my age poked into your eye so badly.
Hey, it's all right, you are not the first person who assumed thigns too fast.
I may sound arrogant to you but I'm honest here.

And if you don't like my style, then ignore it, since I'm not changing it at this point I've found it way ago. It has worked for me very well, and may even work for someone else too.

Hehe, long reply.. I admit you hit me in a soft spot

Cheers!
- Hot Ice

 

[WestCoaster]

Your words, not mine

From you:

***********
I admit that I haven't had really deep relationships
****************

That says it all. You can post, but since you've never been in any real deep relationships, IMO, your opinion on this board is moot and advice won't be taken.

Get in a deep relationship and then get back to us.

You don't have to be married or divorced -- I've been neither -- but I've been in some deep relationships and until you know how to be in one and have been through the agonizing break-up, you can talk to all your friends that you want ... you still won't know what it's like.

 

[Hot Ice]

Whatever.

Now we have to take this again:
What YOU think is a "really deep relationship"?

By the way, WestCoaster, how old are you then?

 

[WestCoaster]

Why would you want to give advice ...

... to older people on a Mature Man site? I know I grew up before the internet, but when I was 18 I was working (usually some laborious job) and getting ready for college.

The absolute last thing I would ever think of is giving anyone older than me advice on how to live! Yet, all over this site I see teenagers trying to dispense words of wisdom (the 15-year old preaching about the evils of maturbation is the all-time classic) to older people, who know better.

Read the DJ Bible, learn the tricks of the trade, date like crazy, practice self-improvement in all areas of your life ... but give advice to guys who have seen a lot of life and you haven't?!

Why does this intrigue you so much? No one here is listening to what an 18-year old has to say, to be honest.

When you're 30 you'll see how ridiculous this is. It makes absolutely no sense.

 

[Hot Ice]

There are 30 year old virgins in this site.
Now they have seen live 12 years more than me..

12 years is nothing WC. Nothing.
You've just dated little more than me. Nothing more.
And oh, yes, you propably die before me.
That's all.

EDIT:

Ah, found a good example just after posting...
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=53660

 

[WestCoaster]

Some stuff to think about

Sorry, but your gotta-be-right and loud (STFU comment) behavior shines above any substance you're writing.

No matter how much life you've lived, it pales in comparison to what others have lived here. That's not a flame, just the truth. I knew this at 18, my friends knew this at 18, most people know this at 18 ... why is this such a confusing concept to you?

I think you have some good things to present ... on a different board. Telling someone who is much older how to live, date, meet women is just crazy as most of us have dated 10 times as much as you and have been in significant relationships.

Your thoughts are way above most on the high school site, but I still don't see what you're getting out of posting here. Not a flame, but a strong question.

Let's relate this to business: If all you've ever done is entry-level work, would you advise a mid-level or high-level manager on how to do things? No, you would not. You might have a neat idea now and then to present, but you wouldn't tell them how to do their jobs.

You're at entry-level right now ... not a flame, but the truth.

Calling people grandpa, and to STFU, and so forth just magnifies your immaturity. You don't have the cognitive ability to reason, and much of this comes from the teenage brain as recent studies show the frontal cortex (where emotions are developed) is not fully developed until the mid-20's or so.

I just find it stunning that anyone at 18 would come into a mature man site and try to tell people how to run their lives. It makes no sense?!

* Also, isn't Finland just a world of hotties? You should not be worried about us older guys and out there dating all those beautiful blondes!

 

[WestCoaster]

One more thing ...

... you said the difference between 18 and 30 is nothing. WOW, do I have a revelation for you.

I had a professor in college tell me this time frame is when you will change the most as a person. It thought he was nuts.

He was 100 percent correct. Your thoughts, emotions, and reasoning drastically alter. The kind of job you thought was great might change. Usually your opinion on what a good woman is and what a good woman isn't also incredibly changes.

You will go through (if you're a risk-taker) some incredibly, deep, emotional interpersonal relationships with women. And you (if you're a risk-taker and don't marry the first thing that looks your way) will suffer some brutal break-ups that will rock your world.

18-30 is nothing?!! Wow, just wait ... just wait.

It is the life-altering decade, you can bank on that!

If it isn't life-altering, you're not living life.