When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
If she already likes you then either will work fine. I'd go with doing it in person though.mpimpin said:It doesn't matter, if she's into you
ItWasntMe said:If she already likes you then either will work fine. I'd go with doing it in person though.
Yeah I haven't asked a girl to become my girlfriend since I was 13 years old lol (grade 7). After time it is just assumed that if you've taken her on a few dates that she's your girlfriendThe Forms said:Yea, this way you can bone her directly afterwards, rather than saying, "Ok. so I guess I'll see you later. Honey." and hanging up.
Although in general I don't think I've ever ASKED a girl to be my girlfriend (or at least I haven't since I was 14).
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
thanks for this huge post man, it really helps.Sniper001 said:Don't ask her to ask you out! That's the dumbest thing I have heard.
If she already has attraction for you, you are merely half way there! You need to ensure you keep that attraction between the both of you, ask her out a few times, ensure the conversation stays smooth, use ****y humor on her, etc.
The dumbest thing you can do is say something such as, "Hey, I really really like you. Do you want to be my girlfriend."
Once you start going out with her, it will be ASSUMED that you and her are going out. Don't spill your feelings too soon as well, as it can EASILY turn off a girl; I know from personal experience.
Keep a mystery face on, let her confess her love for you, and take things from there. Remember, it's all about timing...
Also, one quick note. Do not ASK her to go out with you. The trick to getting a girl to go out with you is to not ASK her; you need to think like a salesman. G up to her and have a conversation such as:
You: Hey girl, you going to look good for me on Saturday?
Her: Saturday? What's Saturday? (All confused.)
You: When you're going to be going out with the most irresistible guy you know!
Her: *Laugh*
You: Great! Meet me at so and so at so and so
Her: Sounds good
You: Cya
Remember, keep it short, sweet, and to the point. Look up in this forum for first date tips, there are MANY things you need to do and I can't be bothered to post everything I know. Make sure you just don't come off as too needy when you ask her go out somewhere with you; and DON'T ask her where you want to go out. Remember, YOU want to be the man in the relationship, not her.
Girls will sometimes put up tests to see how confident you are, etc.
An example of what I mean to not come off as asking for approval is this:
She: Do you want to sit there?
You: No, let's sit there.
YOU need to put yourself in charge. If she asks to meet at the movies, say you would rather go bowling. (Just an example.)
Last tip I want to mention is the flaking test. Sometimes, a girl will say yes to go out with you somewhere, but they will cancel a day before the actual "date" was suppose to happen - that's called flaking. SO, many guys have wondered how to prevent this. It's simple. Right after you ask her out, ask a simple question, "Do you ever flake out on people?"
Most often a girl will say, "No." It's common sense! If she doesn't know what flaking is, let her know about the term. (I've had it happen 2 or 3 times before.)
Once she replies "no", tell her EXACTLY this: "Good! Because if it's one thing I don't like, it is flaky people. There are too many flaky people in the world these days!" Than switch the topic.
Once you say this to her, she will know that it is NOT okay to flake on you, and you will eliminate flakiness!
However, if she does end up flaking on you after you say this to her. Say this: "I thought you were different from all those other girls/women I knew.. guess I was wrong. If you were going to flake out on me, you could have at least told me earlier so I could have made plans with other friends." She needs to know that it's not okay to waste your time and that your time is precious.
Anyway, this post was rather long. If you need any more help, drop me a PM and I will help you out.
In short, plan the date over the phone... it's far easier and most common in my opinion. You aren't asking her to be your girlfriend, you are merely planning to have a date with her. Once you have more and more dates with her, you will find out if she is really your type, and than it will just be assumed you are going out.
Good luck with this girl,
Nick.