"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Where to go for first date?

EverybodyPlaysAFool

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Okay, here is the scenario. You just meet a lovely little dame and closed with the conversation with a number and date. Now, you know she is has an attration to you and obviously you have an attraction for her. So you wait your 2-6 days to call her and schedual a date or as I perfer "a time and place to kick it" and she agrees. So fellow Don Juans where would you take her? I know you don't want to come off to strong but then again you do want to hint that your interested, so where do you go? Post what you would do in this scenario because I am in it.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Tha Realnezz

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Anywhere ,women are very boring.They're not active at all.They like being with people and talking.

That's all they want. You don't have to spend a ton of money.You can't just hang together with you're peopel(never hers).

There is where your freinds and social proof can help you.You're killing two birds with one stone.You're having an interesting date and you proved you're not a boring loser(essential).So bring along you're people.Maybe grab a beer or visit you're freinds before hand to loosen her up.

Dates can break your wallet and they get repitive.
 

Jager_Boy

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I dont like dates. Tell her to meet you at the bar....
 

Nine Breaker

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First off, welcome to the forums. I hope the time you spend here proves useful for you.

Now, the idea behind dating isn't to cater to her every whim and desire and do everything she wants to do all of the time. The best way to look at dating is to see it as a way of weeding out the women that are genuinely interesting and would really go well with you from those women that, well, aren't going to make life any more fun and interesting for you.

I guess you could look at as similar to a job interview. Not in formalities or the seriousness or any of that, but in that you are the interviewer going through applicants for the right woman for you. You do not want to look like this is what you're doing during the date (egocentricism isn't that attractive to women) but this is the right mindset when it comes to judging if a woman is worth dating any further - does she qualify to what you're after?

Anyway, all that having been said, where you go during a date (or whatever you want to call it) depends upon what you yourself want to do for fun. Just go anywhere you would normally if you wanted to have a fun night/day.

By doing what you would do normally, you will see if this woman is into the same sort of things that you are. For example, if you enjoy ten-pin bowling, then going along to an art show just because she wants to isn't going to do you any favours in the long run. If you both like bowling, then you're already off to a good start.

Sure, there has to be a degree of tolerance in how much you will bend to what she wants to do as well, but if these differences are too much then there might not be that much there for building up something in the long term.

Dating is really a straight-forward process, and it should focus on having fun together. Ask yourself "what do I usually do for a good time out?" and then go from there. If you impress this woman or not is not the point. Dating is done to find the right woman for you, not to sucker the first woman you meet into being yours forever.

Hope that helps.
 

johnny_chase

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Good call Nine.

If you impress this woman or not is not the point. Dating is done to find the right woman for you, not to sucker the first woman you meet into being yours forever.

Right on. I think too many guys think that by choosing the perfect place they can enhance a woman's attraction for them. Really, it dosent matter. They either like you or they dont. That is what the first date is for. A job interview. It is all talking.

Once i went shirt shopping for me as a first date with a girl. I needed to go shopping, two birds with one stone, lol. She loved it, we just chilled out and talked, and then went for coffee after for a more intimate atmosphere.

The key is, do something that you think is fun, and see if she digs it. There is no magic place to go, just go somewhere to spend the time while you talk and get to know her better.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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spidersense

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DO's:bowling, dancing, a coffee shop and play a game a chess, a book store with a coffee shop inside of it, the mall to see what she's into making sure to stop in the book store and music store to see if accademically she meets your requirements, play a couple games of pool at a pool bar where you can also get a drink and talk afterwards, putt putt's fun, if you're really good invite her to your place for a movie and if she refuses say oh well and hang up, if you live in a big city meet uptown(uptown in charlotte, downtown everywhere else) and walk around looking at the sites but try to pick an area that has a pub or coffee shop near buy that you can rest and talk for a minute(women that are new to the area tend to like that), the library(if she's a book worm this can make good conversation just don't bore her to death), a comedy club, good strip joint if she's bi and she probably is, a party that you're going to anyways, pretty much any place that gives good feelings, a popular park and swing on the swings, a public pool, there are many many more I'm missing I'm sure
DON'TS: a restaurant-she will probably take that as a "date" date, any place negative like a prison or jail.... there really aren't many don'ts
 

EverybodyPlaysAFool

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Damn, that was insightful!

Okay, fist of all thanks for the information I found it to be very helpful. I must admit y'all helped me look at dating in a different perspective. I like the whole job interview analogy because it makes perfect sense as to why we date. We need to know if the women we are dating are compatible with us, the Don Juan's and the upcoming Don Juan's, to see if she is worth pursuing. So, now that I got that established I think I am on better grounds as to where to go for a so called date. Personally, I like music and I play in a band so I am considering on taking her to one of my shows in the near future. However, that may be a while so I think I am going to go with the mall idea or a comedy club scene because lets face it...what women doesn’t like to shop or have a good laugh. Plus I like to laugh and I like buy clothes so it is a perfect way to see if she meets my qualifications. Anymore ideas are welcomed, thanks y'all!
 
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