"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Where is the balance?

2Rocky

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As a younger man, I wanted to be the guy who had the answers. The guy who "knows a guy", the guy who hears about opportunities first, The expert in my field.


But in discussing boundaries when do I go from being an Authority to being the "Research *****"?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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WadeWatts

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When your information either, one ups or trumps everyone else’s the majority of the time. Not that I have ever researched this ratio out but maybe apply the 2/3’s rule to this. Less is more.
Hope this helps
 

ubercat

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Depends on the depth required. If you want some rules of thumb it's a topic. Your looking for general tactics that work most of the time.

If you want to make it situational you re trying to develop a decision making framework and need to go deep.

Given we believe in the panning for gold approach here - sifting through lots of material (screening) for the rare nuggets I think rules of thumb and let the chips fall is the best bang for buck.
 
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