Where I disagree with Anti-Dump

[DonJuanabe]

AD provided great information and advice. But everyone is different so nothing should be taken as law.

1) AD said talk things not ideas. Keep everything light and simple. I disagree. Some girls are brainy/nerdy and really enjoy intellectual discussions and topics. If you are also like that then don't avoid going there. If nerdy is not your style that's fine, but two nerds tend to get along well when they are being who they are. A guy who is nerdy should weed out a girl who is not nerdy and keep the ones who are nerdy.

2) AD said do action dates for the first month or two. I disagree. Often there just isn't time during the week for action dates -- dinner it is. That's just reality of having a job/career. And to be honest it is a good way to actually have a conversation so you can learn who she is and judge whether she is good for you.

 

[Deep Dish]

1) AD said talk things not ideas. Keep everything light and simple. I disagree. Some girls are brainy/nerdy and really enjoy intellectual discussions and topics. If you are also like that then don't avoid going there. If nerdy is not your style that's fine, but two nerds tend to get along well when they are being who they are. A guy who is nerdy should weed out a girl who is not nerdy and keep the ones who are nerdy.

Keep everything light, simple, and fun. Even nerdy girls love fun. If a girl wants to talk about the finer points of art history or aquatic biology, knock her socks off, but still keep it fun. Don’t talk like a man, talk like a girl. When men talk about ideas, we focus on the topic logically, covering every aspect. When girls talk, they flit like a butterfly from topic to topic. Our style of thoroughly dissecting topics is too rigid, too boring, for the fluid ocean currents of the female psyche. Go with the non-sequitur flow.

My girlfriend is brilliant and we sometimes talk about brainy things, quite adeptly, but mostly it’s just trivial.

2) AD said do action dates for the first month or two. I disagree. Often there just isn't time during the week for action dates -- dinner it is. That's just reality of having a job/career. And to be honest it is a good way to actually have a conversation so you can learn who she is and judge whether she is good for you.

You should take advantage of the opportunities whenever it’s possible. There are weekends, right. You can turn anything into a date, like grocery shopping. Of course, nowadays people don’t “date.” It’s all “hanging out.” So if it helps, think in those terms. What do you do when you hang out with buddies, you do things.

 

[BeDJ]

AD's Machine is to see if the relationship will work within 2 months.

1) If your main pool is nerdy girls, that's fine. Normal women love to laugh and have fun. That's why keeping things light and fun works. Having serious and intellectual talks are good, but not until later in the dating period.

2) Same as 1, keep it light and fun. There are many activities you can do at night ie bowling, miniature golf, rollerblading etc. Initial dates are supposed to be keeping her excited, on the edge. This is key in building her interest level in you.

Friends have meaningful conversations with each other, but that's not until they are comfortable with one another. It takes time building that relationship.

Although the purpose of AD's Machine is to weed out the good ones from the bad one, the initial dating process must be constant.

 

[zekko]

Meh, I don't agree with #1 OR 2. There's nothing wrong with the advice per se, but I just think you should do whatever the hell you want to do.

Rules like this are too confining, I don't like the idea of excluding any options. I don't like the idea of editing my speech because some yahoo on the internet said not to say something. Guidelines like this are good for people who haven't formed their identities yet or have no idea of what they should do.

Having said that, I do agree that generally speaking, it is best to keep things light and fun in the early stages.