"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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where/how to meet girls in my situation

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ne0phyte

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just moved into a new area about half a year ago, and i'm kinda at a loss to figure out where to meet girls.

i live in the suburban area, work in a small office part time and take classes at night to advance my career. I'm so busy that I feel like I don't even have time to rejuvenate myself. To make matters worse, most of the people at work , and everyone in my class seems to be in LTRs or married. Thus even when i'm up for hitting up a bar at night, the guys just wanna/have to go home to their wives. My social circle at school is pretty decent in terms of going out, but everyone's busy and we don't go out that often.

so as a budding DJ, what should I do?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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AAAgent

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i feel you brother. I just moved to a whole new city for work. I was really broke paying off debts owed so didn't get to go out much in the beginning. I went out a few times with my co-workers which was cool but nothing lately. A couple girls seemed into me at work and one of them has a banging a$$ body but work is work. Very little to no luck with women lately.

I did however find some new motivation keeping me busy. Working out. Knowing that i'm working towards looking and feeling good is what mostly takes the time away for me.

Slowly things will come along as they always do. I don't go out much but when i do i end up networking with some women whether they're attractive or not (by not i mean average). Just take things as they come.
 
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terran2k

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really just sounds like you're making excuses, like you're some type of helpless victim of circumstances.
you are not totally helpless to meet new single friends to hang with.
 
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ArcBound

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Expand your social circle: hang out with your friends who are married and maybe their spouses. Maybe someone can hook you up. The bigger and more diverse your social circle the more bites you will get.
 
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ne0phyte

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well I'm trying to expand my social circle, it's just I have such a time constraint. It's not that I'm making excuses, I'm just trying to make the best out of my situation. work + school takes me basically from 8am to 8pm. pretty hard to be an energetic pua when I just want to go to sleep. who knew the real world would be so different from college.

also more specific tips would be appreciated. should i start going to bars by myself? how does that work? also, I've been looking around while I'm at the mall, and for the most part I just see HS age people or people who work there. I feel like if I try to game the workers, they'll start recognizing me if I start going to the mall every weekend to get numbers.

and as for my married/LTR friends, they've actually never talked about me being single, is it socially acceptable to just ask if they have anyone in mind to hook me up with?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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D

DropZone3

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Join some of the local meet up group in your area. It's a great way to meet people and build your social skills. In addition, you may also discover some really cool activities or location in your area.
 
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runner83

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ne0phyte said:
well I'm trying to expand my social circle, it's just I have such a time constraint. It's not that I'm making excuses, I'm just trying to make the best out of my situation. work + school takes me basically from 8am to 8pm. pretty hard to be an energetic pua when I just want to go to sleep. who knew the real world would be so different from college.

also more specific tips would be appreciated. should i start going to bars by myself? how does that work? also, I've been looking around while I'm at the mall, and for the most part I just see HS age people or people who work there. I feel like if I try to game the workers, they'll start recognizing me if I start going to the mall every weekend to get numbers.

and as for my married/LTR friends, they've actually never talked about me being single, is it socially acceptable to just ask if they have anyone in mind to hook me up with?
Click to expand...
Tough one mate, and I can understand it, since for a couple of years back, I was in a similar situation when I was doing my Masters. Full time work and then you'd get home and have to do 2-3 hours more study.

Also since I've been 21, I've moved 4 times for work, simply because I put my career first at this stage in my life.

For me, I just didn't really have the time to fit everything in, so I accepted that I should focus on my study/career for this part of my life.

And took whatever opportunities came up. Things happen sometimes when you least expect it...

So all I can suggest is to try and expand your social circle as best you can, and when you get the chance, do something. Online dating is also worthwhile having a look at.

Good luck!
 
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ne0phyte

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appreciate sharing your experience runner83. it's pretty much exactly what i'm goin through right now. wouldn't be so bad if everyone at work wasn't in some type of relationship. gonna try to make the best out of it and keep my eyes open
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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