Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Where Do Players Hang Out?

dadmonson

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I'm not sure about following the advice on this forum because I don't know if you guys are making sh!t up or not.

However, I would love to hang out with some guys who are good at attracting people of the opposite sex from my area but I can't find any. I would love to learn from them.

I don't want to post where I live so I guess it is kind of idiotic for me to say this but anybody know who the "alphas" are in my neck of the woods? If you are one please let me know.

Perhaps this is a better question...how do you spot an "alpha" and get him to take you up under his wing? Is there a specific place where you would normally find an "alpha" male?
 

shyguy32

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If you don't say where you are, then you can't get any help. You can be a wingman for some of them and learn that way if you would post where you live.
 

Mike32ct

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So some tall good looking guy who gets laid a lot is going to teach you to get laid more :confused: ?

It doesn't work that way. You can't teach good looking.

I'm not trying to be rude or sarcastic but it's true. Trying to copy another guy rarely works.

Even here, we can provide guidance and help guys avoid common mistakes, but that's about it. You still have to find your own game that fits you and works for you.
 

J Roc

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dadmonson said:
I'm not sure about following the advice on this forum because I don't know if you guys are making sh!t up or not.

How about you try some the advice and see if it works for yourself...
 

Bible_Belt

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I don't want to post where I live

So search the wingman forum and find someone who has posted where they live, and happens to be near you. Then PM them.
 

Serialized3

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Honestly man, your best bet is a competitive amateur sports league or the gym. They tend to attract those high-T, square-jaw, muscular types with a lot of energy. A lot of those guys are naturals and clean up with the women. Make friends, join a new social circle, start going out and gaming girls with them.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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The first step in being good with women is meeting them. You can't expect any technique or confidence to do you any good if you meet one girl a month. The truth is that no matter how good looking or suave you are, you're going to be rejected a lot to get any play.

So you need to keep active and keep the girls coming before you get a bite. Then and only then does anything you learned even become relevant.
 

Vice

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Find your favorite night spot and keep a eye out for any guys that you see on a regular basis with different women, and befriend him. It's not rocket science.

And do NOT meet up with any "lair" or "pickup" guys, they're almost always really f*cking weird. Dudes at the gym also tend to be really cool, as well as at sports places.
 

evansblue

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I think what this really boils down to are two things: leaders and followers. Guys who are really good with women (speaking from personal experience) are lone wolves. Myself included. Believe it or not, there's not a lot of guys that are great with women. And I'm talking about outside the community. Just because a guy is good looking doesn't mean he's a player. That's one of the biggest misconceptions floating around the pickup community. Women can get by on looks, men can't. A good looking guy can be insecure, shy, introverted, have social anxiety, etc.

So the notion that guys who hang out in gyms get laid left and right is a fallacy. I mean, look at this forum. 90% of the advice around this place is what? Hit the gym. What kind of guys are hitting the gym? Guys that are bad with women. This forum is proof. Seems to me that's one of the last places you'd want to be in asking for advice. That's the blind leading the blind.

This is one of the main reasons I became good at sleeping with a lot of women: I didn't know any guys that were players. To be a player you have to be fiercely independent. And that's exactly the opposite of the behavior I saw from so many of my friends, acquaintances, co-workers, random other guys in the bar, etc. I don't even tell a lot of my friends about the women I sleep with, because they can't relate. They're not go-getters in regards to getting laid. They're perfectly content being in a relationship, or being alone. Not by choice, but because they're not independent. They're too worried about being ostracized by people and can't go out and explore for themselves. Every time the topic about women does come up, they try to "one-up" me about how being in a relationship is far superior and I have some psychological problem because I have sex with multiple different women on a regular basis. For the record, I have nothing against relationships. I'm all for them. My friends try to convince me that what I'm doing isn't healthy. We all know damn well they wish they were sleeping with as many women as I do. What is the difference here? They're followers. Taking charge, going out and talking to women, scheduling dates, meeting up for drinks, sarging solo, etc. is too much for them to handle. It's foreign territory. Them (and many other guys) don't have the armor, mental fortitude and can't deal with being rejected.

A lot of the talk around here is about not putting women on a pedestal. That same philosophy applies to other guys in assuming because they have muscle mass, money, or are popular that they're banging tons of chicks. This is completely false, it's negative and it's putting not only women, but other men on a pedestal as well, further killing your confidence. Even with myself, I've been rejected over and over and over and over again. I keep going because I'm not reliant, nor do I care about how somebody else (male or female) perceives me. I'm more concerned about what I want to do, and what makes me happy. In other words, my thoughts are not dictated through external factors, but rather internally with my own desires.

Don't compare yourself or think you need to rely on a certain group of people to become good with women. This is another form of pedestal thinking. The only person you have to rely on is yourself. If you're not sure on how to handle a certain situation with a girl, who should you ask? Yourself. Your opinion is just as good, if not better than somebody else's. But it's been ingrained into a lot of guys minds to over analyze, second guess, and ask somebody ELSE. And it's this thinking that's perpetuating the problem. It's increasing dependence on somebody else to fix your problems, and you end up becoming the middleman.

Sooner or later you're going to come to the realization that YOU control your destiny with women. You can be a follower if you want, and there's certainly security in that. But that comes at a hefty price. The decision's up to you.
 

floydb25

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Mike32ct said:
So some tall good looking guy who gets laid a lot is going to teach you to get laid more :confused: ?

It doesn't work that way. You can't teach good looking.

I'm not trying to be rude or sarcastic but it's true. Trying to copy another guy rarely works.

Even here, we can provide guidance and help guys avoid common mistakes, but that's about it. You still have to find your own game that fits you and works for you.
This. Lots of this. When I was young, fat, unattractive, etc, I couldnt get ****, and was always surrounded by gorgeous women. Why? Because all of my friends were pretty boys. They got all of the women. I had no experience, no knowledge, no game, no self esteem, no social skills, no life, no nothing. I was about18 at the time, just moved out of my mom's house.

Flash forward a few years, and everything started changing. Nobody helped me, and they really couldnt. I just started exercising, losing weight, socializing, getting involved in activities, buying nice clothes, taking care of my appearance - and there it was. Friends were made, women were wanting sex, respect was given, etc. And it just became natural from there. Nobody taught me ****, and I dont know if it can be taught. Its just something that happens as a result of these things you do. You cant make a woman attracted by watching someone else - you have to become someone else through your own. If that makes sense. The better, more evolved you. You have to attract women, and have these experiences. To that end, you also have to be a leader, posses good social skills, etc.

One thing that blew me, and the girls I knew from before, away was, there was a pretty boy underneath that young, nerdy, messy, unhygeinetic (yeah, thats probably not a word), unattractive fatass all along. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd have what those friends of old did. ****, I still viewed myself as that unattractive person for years to come. You might be suprised by how good looking and sociable and interesting you are once you eliminate the shyness, fear, and take care of yourself. Then you will get women, and know what its all about.

It has to be natural; they have to like you. Once that happens, you also realize its not a big deal - just another walk of life. And that a lot of the crazy ranting that goes on here holds no bearing on reality. I think most of that comes from failure and rejection, which leads to bitterness and generalizing. If they were successful, attractive, had LIVES, and were in the zone, so to speak - they wouldnt be crying and calling women negative things all the time. But of course, some ARE *****es and *****s. Not nearly as bad as they make them out to be, though. A lot of times, theyre simply not that interested.

But then you also have the nature of the site, and most of its ilk. For meeting and attracting women. So youre probably going to end up with more failures and learners than non.
 

SgtSplacker

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This is weird... I feel dirty posting here... at least I brought a girl... stay close to me Jenny I don't want any of these guys getting the wrong idea... act like my GF please...
 
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