Where do I go from here...?

[mr_guido]

Hey guys,
So, there's this girl that I really like. She's cute, smart, witty, and pretty damn charming. Now she's told me more than once that she really likes me, that I'm the nicest guy she's ever met But yesterday, she sent me an email, just casually, and then she told me that she really likes this other guy. In fact she used the word 'love' when talking about him. So I told her how much I actually liked her but then she just said 'well, I'll have to think about all of this, I'm confused, but you're sooo sweet'. She also said that she still likes me but, what do I do? Now I'm the one who's confused. It seems as though she's interested in this other guy, but she said she still likes me.....anyways, if you guys could give me your thoughts and input I'd greatly appreciate it

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Abandon all hope.


Onto the next one.

 

[mr_guido]

For real? I don't know, because now I'm really confused bro. I mean, she told me she used to go out with this guy, but she still sort of likes him, and she said that they might just be FWB. AND I just opened up another email from her, and it said, "Hey, I'm so sorry about yesterday, I feel like I totally crushed your hopes for me and you. But I want you to know that I still really like you, and you're sooo adorable." So I'm totally confused, I NEED HELP!

 

[NorwegianDJ]

The first post places you deeply within the frienzone.

This post clarifies it a bit more, now you just have to find out if she is speaking the truth.

She said "still" tho, so nothing has changed really. And you're adorable.. how cute.

Just meet up with her as you always do and follow your intent.
So far you have not done that, hence being in the friendzone. But you're adorable, so thats alright.

Look at this as a window of opportunity (if its true) and strike hard.
If she does not like you, simply move on. Unless you can be friends with her without liking her.
Swift action.

 

[Amo]

What girls say and what girls do are two different things. Pay attention to the latter.

 

[mr_guido]

Now when she first told me that she still sort of likes this one guy, I told her exactly what you said at the end - that even if she's going to go out with him, I'd still want to be at least friends with her. However, like you said, she said 'I still like you,' which means obviously she still has feelings for me, which she told me when I first saw her. I didn't know that this was just in the friendzone, however, perhaps if I shared some background on this it would make more sense.

It was a party when I first saw her, and back in grade 7 I went to school with her, so I hadn't seen her for a few years so I struck up a conversation with her. About a minute into our convo, she said "we'll be right back" and her and her friend left, giggling away. She even told me I was better looking than I was in grade 7 - sort of a half compliment, half slap in the face but I was over it So we've seen each other quite a few more times, and once, when it was just me and her (and unfortunately her friend was with her, but whatever) right before I had to leave, I slowly moved in and made out with her for quite a while, and she obviously liked it because she was right into it, and when we pulled away, her face was bright red and she was all giggly and stuff. Now, was my move too risky? Does this put us farther than the friendzone? After that, she told me that she told her parents that she liked me (good sign I thought ) which was a week ago. Which brings us to Monday. That's when she told me she still liked this other guy, and thought she would be FWB with him, where I was like :cuss:! So right away, like I said before, 'I don't want to just be pushed out, because I at least want to be friends with you.' But then she sent me that other email which i already told you about, and she seemed like she was more into me than this other dude.

So, when you say

Look at this as a window of opportunity (if its true) and strike hard.
If she does not like you, simply move on. Unless you can be friends with her without liking her.
Swift action.

how can I 'strike hard?' Make out? How do I find out if it's true? She must mean it as she's told me lots that she really likes me, anyways, thanks for your help so far, and if you could help me puzzle this next step out that would mean a lot

 

[Amo]

This makes more sense. She potentially could be playing hard to get/****-testing you.

 

[YoYoRocks]

Get real bro.

Your lying to yourself and her. You know you don't want to be friends with her. You want to **** the **** out of her.


For you to strike hard, she has to have a lot of attraction toward you. From what it seems like it, she doesn't.


In the words of Jay-Z, "On to the next one"


You guys met a few times, you guys kissed, gives you a few compliments, and your hooked, HARD. Your treating it like this is the only girl thats gonna **** with you. Theres other girls out there.


I just feel like your putting too much thought and effort into this.

 

[Amo]

+1 on YoYoRocks.

 

[Theminatar]

Listen to Norwegian and YoYoRocks, they're basically right about every situation.

 

[novaknight]

I think they said it already...but let's illustrate it in statistics.

There are 3+ Billion women on this planet. What are the odds that there are no girls better than her?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I'd say persist hard on this one. By a week you should either be rejected or date her.
If rejected, you got nearly 4000000000 other choices.
Go enjoy.

 

[Fionn]

1. Ask her out. If rejected move to step 3.
2. Make it sexual. Kiss her or whatever ye like.
3. If this fails, move on. They are better options. There ARE better options.

Basically what the lads above said but with handy bullet points!

 

[5string]

You're now a second stringer as she's put you on the bench to be called when needed for attention.

Let it go.

 

[mr_guido]

YoYoRocks, I'd know if I was lying to myself and trust me, I'm not. Similarily bro, I know for a fact that I'm not lying to her. Now thanks to everyone's advice, I've made up my mind on what to do. So, she hasn't mentioned or made word about this other guy for quite a while now, and has since been really interested in me and has been asking me if I'll ask her to go out with me which makes me think that the only reason that she's become interested in this other guy is because I've been dragging my feet. So I'm thinking that I'll probably go out with her. No, she's not just using me, dude, because I've known her for a few years and she's totally not that type of person. Now here's another problem. Currently I'm at a different school than her, and plus I don't quite have my full driver's licence yet, just my learners' (you need someone over 22 with a valid DL with you - lame for dates). So would it be worth it to 'go out' with her? Next year, however, I will be at the same school as her and by then I'll have my driver's licence, (plus I'll be done restoring my car - a 1969 Ford Mustang Hardtop!) so should I just wait until next year? Should I let her in on my plan? I'm pretty sure that if I waited until next year then our relationship would be that much better. So let me know what you think. Thanks again

 

[NorwegianDJ]

First off, what yoyo ment was that you're not following your own intentions by being friends with her, and you know you dont want that.

Stop rationalizing for postponing it. Take the train, schedule a meet up, bus, get a ride, your parents. It doesnt really matter.

Have you even asked her out yet?
And you're thinking of 'our relationship' already?
Take it one step at a time, but that doesnt mean you can wait a few weeks to ask her out.

 

[mr_guido]

True enough, I think it was just the way he put it :/ even though it meant well. Anyways, I'm going to ask her out, as I'm seeing her tomorrow, and we'll just go from there. And I think that thinking about 'our relationship' already is in fact a good thing, as I wouldn't just want a quick fling lol. So I'll let you guys know how it goes and what happens....thanks again

 

[YoYoRocks]

True enough, I think it was just the way he put it :/ even though it meant well. Anyways, I'm going to ask her out, as I'm seeing her tomorrow, and we'll just go from there. And I think that thinking about 'our relationship' already is in fact a good thing, as I wouldn't just want a quick fling lol. So I'll let you guys know how it goes and what happens....thanks again

Sorry if it came across in a douche way. But its the reality of situation. You know you don't want to be friends with her and your doing a dishonor to yourself by lying to yourself. You want her to be your girlfriend, you shouldn't be ashamed of it.

Do whatever you feel is best for you. If your delaying it because your afraid of her response and ruining your friendship. And feel like having a bad ass car, nice car btw :rockon: , would improve your chances. The car would improve your chances obviously, but the reasoning behind it is weak.

She already wants you to ask her out. Your trying to bring your value up, so that in your head your worthy of her. Thats just a weak mindset to come from.


Good luck bro!

 

[mr_guido]

Hey no problem YoYo I knew where you were coming from, and I totally understand. Thanks, I sure can't wait to have my car all done up! Now look. I asked her out, and she said, "I really realllly like you, but I just can't answer that right now. I just hate it that we never get to see each other that much (because we go to different schools.)" I was a little afraid that something like this would happen. But I mean, she's still interested in me, but she doesn't want to say yes because we don't see each other enough. WHAT NOW?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Most probably friendzoned man. If a girl likes you, she will priorotize you. You will always have higher value than whatever she's doing.

Go pursue other chicks.