One major area where I need to work on is being more attune to how my words come across. Often, I think I'm being fun and end up saying something the other person find inconsiderate (part of it is because I'm a foreigner from a different culture)... Anyway, I'll keep working on it, but what do you do when it happens? With girls, you can tell they get worked up/hissy/passive-aggressive and expect you to do something about it (which is completely justified, since here it's truly my fault). I usually try to explain what I meant and emphasize that I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings, basically apologizing without saying "I'm sorry" - imo 'sorry' almost always sounds insincere and nice-guyish. Depending on how pissed the girl is, she'll tell me something along the lines of "you're good" or say it's fine and be dismissive. What's the best way to clean up a mess? (I understand the best is to think before I speak, I'm working on that).
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
When you've pissed a girl off (and it's legitimately your fault)
- Thread starter Trunks
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Ignore it, you know what you meant. If she gets offended or whatever, don't give into it. Always treat a joke as a joke, if you have to explain yourself then just don't say it at all. People will know how you are the more time the spend with you. Explaining yourself, even without saying the words sorry, is a weak move. However, I am assuming you're not saying something crazy though, like joking about dead parents or whatever.