One major area where I need to work on is being more attune to how my words come across. Often, I think I'm being fun and end up saying something the other person find inconsiderate (part of it is because I'm a foreigner from a different culture)... Anyway, I'll keep working on it, but what do you do when it happens? With girls, you can tell they get worked up/hissy/passive-aggressive and expect you to do something about it (which is completely justified, since here it's truly my fault). I usually try to explain what I meant and emphasize that I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings, basically apologizing without saying "I'm sorry" - imo 'sorry' almost always sounds insincere and nice-guyish. Depending on how pissed the girl is, she'll tell me something along the lines of "you're good" or say it's fine and be dismissive. What's the best way to clean up a mess? (I understand the best is to think before I speak, I'm working on that).
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When you've pissed a girl off (and it's legitimately your fault)
- Thread starter Trunks
- Start date
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
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Ignore it, you know what you meant. If she gets offended or whatever, don't give into it. Always treat a joke as a joke, if you have to explain yourself then just don't say it at all. People will know how you are the more time the spend with you. Explaining yourself, even without saying the words sorry, is a weak move. However, I am assuming you're not saying something crazy though, like joking about dead parents or whatever.