One major area where I need to work on is being more attune to how my words come across. Often, I think I'm being fun and end up saying something the other person find inconsiderate (part of it is because I'm a foreigner from a different culture)... Anyway, I'll keep working on it, but what do you do when it happens? With girls, you can tell they get worked up/hissy/passive-aggressive and expect you to do something about it (which is completely justified, since here it's truly my fault). I usually try to explain what I meant and emphasize that I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings, basically apologizing without saying "I'm sorry" - imo 'sorry' almost always sounds insincere and nice-guyish. Depending on how pissed the girl is, she'll tell me something along the lines of "you're good" or say it's fine and be dismissive. What's the best way to clean up a mess? (I understand the best is to think before I speak, I'm working on that).
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
When you've pissed a girl off (and it's legitimately your fault)
- Thread starter Trunks
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Ignore it, you know what you meant. If she gets offended or whatever, don't give into it. Always treat a joke as a joke, if you have to explain yourself then just don't say it at all. People will know how you are the more time the spend with you. Explaining yourself, even without saying the words sorry, is a weak move. However, I am assuming you're not saying something crazy though, like joking about dead parents or whatever.