"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
When you've got nothing to lose
- Thread starter OpenMind
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Take for instance my last GF. We had been out several times and things had been going well, then she didn't return my calls. She finally called me up one night and we met up. When I tried to kiss her, she told me she was starting to see someone else. I got pretty pissed, and started walking off to my car to get the hell out of there. But, I turned around, went back and talked to her some more. I didn't say anything like "I really like you a lot"...but told her we really connected and I had never met anyone like her before, and other things I had felt about us. I said that, said goodbye, and figured that was it.
A couple days later she calls up, telling me what I said made her melt. She stopped seeing the other guy and we dated for four months. It didn't last forever, but it was one of the most intense and exciting relationships I'd ever had.
So, it can work...but I think she has to be feeling something for you in the first place for it to do any good.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
Perhaps this is why the gal I'm seeing hasn't called me now that she's (presumably) back in town after having been gone for the weekend, though I left a message for her Friday.
We still haven't had sex, but made out more passionately the last time we got together than any of our prior few dates.
My actions are congruently positive, but I don't say much to indicate that I feel anything for her yet.
Hmmm....
I doubt that's the case after only a few dates. But you'll get the same kind of reaction if you overdo it with waiting to call when she really likes you, too. The waiting to call is intended to prevent the guy from being too pushy too fast. If you don't have that problem then you shouldn't wait too long in between calling.Originally posted by Bonhomme
Perhaps this is why the gal I'm seeing hasn't called me now that she's (presumably) back in town after having been gone for the weekend, though I left a message for her Friday.
We still haven't had sex, but made out more passionately the last time we got together than any of our prior few dates.
My actions are congruently positive, but I don't say much to indicate that I feel anything for her yet.
Hmmm....
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
... or she could just not be that interested.
It's foolish to overanalyze or read too much into things. She does seem very hesitant to take things further, so I'm just going to lay back and see what she does.
There are always others.
Well, if she's hesitating then she's probably just not as interested as she could be. It happens.Originally posted by Bonhomme
... or she could just not be that interested.
It's foolish to overanalyze or read too much into things. She does seem very hesitant to take things further, so I'm just going to lay back and see what she does.
There are always others.