"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
When you've got nothing to lose
- Thread starter OpenMind
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Take for instance my last GF. We had been out several times and things had been going well, then she didn't return my calls. She finally called me up one night and we met up. When I tried to kiss her, she told me she was starting to see someone else. I got pretty pissed, and started walking off to my car to get the hell out of there. But, I turned around, went back and talked to her some more. I didn't say anything like "I really like you a lot"...but told her we really connected and I had never met anyone like her before, and other things I had felt about us. I said that, said goodbye, and figured that was it.
A couple days later she calls up, telling me what I said made her melt. She stopped seeing the other guy and we dated for four months. It didn't last forever, but it was one of the most intense and exciting relationships I'd ever had.
So, it can work...but I think she has to be feeling something for you in the first place for it to do any good.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
Perhaps this is why the gal I'm seeing hasn't called me now that she's (presumably) back in town after having been gone for the weekend, though I left a message for her Friday.
We still haven't had sex, but made out more passionately the last time we got together than any of our prior few dates.
My actions are congruently positive, but I don't say much to indicate that I feel anything for her yet.
Hmmm....
I doubt that's the case after only a few dates. But you'll get the same kind of reaction if you overdo it with waiting to call when she really likes you, too. The waiting to call is intended to prevent the guy from being too pushy too fast. If you don't have that problem then you shouldn't wait too long in between calling.Originally posted by Bonhomme
Perhaps this is why the gal I'm seeing hasn't called me now that she's (presumably) back in town after having been gone for the weekend, though I left a message for her Friday.
We still haven't had sex, but made out more passionately the last time we got together than any of our prior few dates.
My actions are congruently positive, but I don't say much to indicate that I feel anything for her yet.
Hmmm....
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
... or she could just not be that interested.
It's foolish to overanalyze or read too much into things. She does seem very hesitant to take things further, so I'm just going to lay back and see what she does.
There are always others.
Well, if she's hesitating then she's probably just not as interested as she could be. It happens.Originally posted by Bonhomme
... or she could just not be that interested.
It's foolish to overanalyze or read too much into things. She does seem very hesitant to take things further, so I'm just going to lay back and see what she does.
There are always others.