When you're called "a nice guy"

[SkrooU]

This is a first for me. Went out with this chick two nights ago. I didn't text or call after the date. She's super serious about finding a husband but one that she has chemistry with. So I'm thinking if this is someone I could see myself with long term so as to not waste her time.

She texts me this morning...
"Sorry about the monologue date. You are a really nice guy".

I just replied "no worries it was entertaining" type message.

But she wants to see me again.

Now I've never been called a nice guy before. Usually the opposite. So I'm wondering if this chick is bad at reading people or is desperate to lock anyone down and I've been made a target. I actually made fun of her to her face and got her to laugh at herself. Not sure where the nice guy part is coming from.

A nice guy...

Hahaha oh man

 

[sosousage]

It means she wants to ride your nice guy

Serious.

 

[SkrooU]

I'm thinking of just straight up telling her I find the nice guy comment insulting and seeing what she says

 

[Billtx49]

I'm thinking of just straight up telling her I find the nice guy comment insulting and seeing what she says

‘You’re the first girl to ever call me that’
All you need to say. Keep her guessing.

 

[Hitman7]

I think her definition of "nice guy" is different from what we know....
Maybe that's her way of saying that you are a "Great guy"

 

[SkrooU]

‘You’re the first girl to ever call me that’
All you need to say. Keep her guessing.

Ya... probably how I'll word it.

 

[SkrooU]

I think her definition of "nice guy" is different from what we know....
Maybe that's her way of saying that you are a "Great guy"

I was thinking this too maybe. Normally I'd say that's just rationalizing unpalatable feedback. But I think she said it because she felt rejected. It was her way of saying that she liked me and thanks for the date but she understands she messed it up by revealing too much. I decided to pay for her drinks because I kinda felt bad about how open and vulnerable she was being with me. Gave her a kiss on the cheek and hug at the end and just said it was nice meeting you.
I think she is thinking of that part.

 

[ubercat]

Random sh1t that popped into her head. She s doing her part i.e. keeps turning up with her pvssy. Just chill snappy comebacks after the fact will just look insecure. And at this stage who cares what she wants. Your job is to fvck her and add to rotation. If she s worthy 3 months down its her job to initiate the talk.

 

[Trump]

This is a first for me. Went out with this chick two nights ago. I didn't text or call after the date. She's super serious about finding a husband but one that she has chemistry with.

On a first date, a girl tells you "I'm super serious to find a husband but there has to be chemistry?"

Very strange.

So I'm thinking if this is someone I could see myself with long term so as to not waste her time.

You figured this out on a FIRST date? Holy cow, I spend time deciding which movie to see, much less a life partner.

She texts me this morning...
"Sorry about the monologue date. You are a really nice guy".

I just replied "no worries it was entertaining" type message.

But she wants to see me again.

A girl you took out:

1) apologized for a date?
2) said you are a nice guy
3) desparately wants to see you again?

This is sounding very strange.

Now I've never been called a nice guy before. Usually the opposite. So I'm wondering if this chick is bad at reading people or is desperate to lock anyone down and I've been made a target. I actually made fun of her to her face and got her to laugh at herself. Not sure where the nice guy part is coming from.

You took a girl:

1) out on a first date
2) made fun of her looks
3) she apologized for boring you, and put it in writing
4) and she desparately wants to see you again?

This doesn't sound right bro. Sure you aren't missing some facts?

 

[SkrooU]

Random sh1t that popped into her head. She s doing her part i.e. keeps turning up with her pvssy. Just chill snappy comebacks after the fact will just look insecure. And at this stage who cares what she wants. Your job is to fvck her and add to rotation. If she s worthy 3 months down its her job to initiate the talk.

Ya I tend to do this with ones I don't respect.

On a first date, a girl tells you "I'm super serious to find a husband but there has to be chemistry?"

Very strange.



You figured this out on a FIRST date? Holy cow, I spend time deciding which movie to see, much less a life partner.



A girl you took out:

1) apologized for a date?
2) said you are a nice guy
3) desparately wants to see you again?

This is sounding very strange.



You took a girl:

1) out on a first date
2) made fun of her looks
3) she apologized for boring you, and put it in writing
4) and she desparately wants to see you again?

This doesn't sound right bro. Sure you aren't missing some facts?

If the following info helps ---
She kept wanting pictures of me before meeting and kept saying how handsome I was. So when she met she said she was excited to meet me because chemistry is important to her. But she wsnted to make sure I was open to marraige at some point. Usually I let them spill their guts here so I can weed out the crazies. She went a little overboard and I let her spin and joked with her about it. I didn't make fun of her looks at all. Told her she looked great.
She doesn't desperately want to see me again. She just invited me to a weekend festival.

To clarify the point of this post:
I'm wondering if she thinks I'm a nice guy
1) in the pejorative sense of our vocabulary.
2) said i was a nice guy for being generous and friendly at the end of the date when it possibly seemed to her that I wasn't interested because I didn't contact her for two days.

 

[ubercat]

Mate read my post again. The plate until 3 months thing is pretty much a law of female nature. Whether or not you respect her this is how it is. Getting with chicks has a natural schedule. If you try and run things a different way your swimming against the tide.

which of course can be done but it adds overhead and Chaos.

 

[SkrooU]

Mate read my post again. The plate until 3 months thing is pretty much a law of female nature. Whether or not you respect her this is how it is. Getting with chicks has a natural schedule. If you try and run things a different way your swimming against the tide.

which of course can be done but it adds overhead and Chaos.

I get what you're saying. I'm just wondering what the nice guy comment meant to her. I was being nice because I wasn't interested in seeing her again. I'm wondering if she picked up on that or if she saw it as me being a nice guy who didn't act aggressive enough to close a deal she thinks I may have wanted. The festival invite threw me off.

 

[ubercat]

Since your interest seems to be a line call y not just invite her for Netflix and chill. Busting a nut in her ass will certainly fix the nice guy frame.

 

[Billtx49]

No telling what she meant. May have been something simple like she’s only experienced bad boys before you.

 

[BeExcellent]

It's simply semantics. Just ask her out again and continue per the game plan.

She flunked mind reading so she thinks she gave you a compliment.

Don't goof that up. Proceed as per normal.

 

[marmel75]

I think her definition of "nice guy" is different from what we know....
Maybe that's her way of saying that you are a "Great guy"

Yeah that is usually what it is...there are "nice guys" that are AFC's where she will say something like "You are a nice guy BUT..." and then give a lame reson for not wanting to see you again and "nice guys" they want to fvck which we would term good guys where they say "I think you are really nice guy" with no BUT after wards.

You'll know which one you are by what she says after saying you are "a nice guy". It appears she meant it as the latter, not the former,.

 

[Hitman7]

So true

 

[Mike32ct]

Gave her a kiss on the cheek and hug at the end and just said it was nice meeting you.

While probably not intentional, that was the best thing you could have done. "It was nice meeting you*" is generally a polite, but coded soft rejection phrase that women use at the end of a first date when they never want to see the guy again (due to lack of attraction).

That fried her circuits and encouraged her to chase you. That's why she texted you. She was concerned that she didn't make a good enough impression on you, and she thought that you friend-zoned or soft-rejected HER.

And I agree with the others, calling you a "nice guy" was NOT an insult (or a soft rejection/friendzone) in this context. It was a compliment. She was actually trying to butter you up, not put you down. Anyway, you are in good shape.

*I will use that phrase as a default on my next first date.