When you start to look aged

[Stagger Lee]

If you talk to a woman, she might say she'd never date a guy 10 years older than her. But then put an attractive guy 15 years older in front of her and she'll go for him without batting an eye.

That's one problem with online dating, she can eliminate you based on your statistics, and real life attraction never gets a chance to enter into it.

Absolutely agree. Most of the girls in their 20's eliminate anyone more than 5 years older, and pof won't allow more than a 13 year age difference. And it's not easy and depends on luck to be that attractive of a guy especially when you're over 35. An older guy that was always good looking and aged well could do it, but they are rare and usually in relationships, not playing the pick up game. It's not just the 20 year old girls, that'd be one thing. It's hard enough for guys in their 20's to pick up 20 year olds. I'm finding women 30-50 are still attracted to youthful looks and 'cuteness'. There the problem is reversed. She might say she won't date a guy 10 years younger. But put an attractive guy who is 15 years younger in front of her and she'll go for it. It's easier to be attractive when you're 10 years younger.

 

[Stagger Lee]

I know guys in the states doing it without a hitch. Mate, I know I'm doing it despite your disbelief.
Do you actually pursue women in real life or online?
If it's online experience only then I don't have a clue what the stats are. Never seriously tried it. You could be completely right and no guys over forty are picking up on there. Maybe because every unskilled 40yo guy is badly attempting to pick up with thousands spamming inboxes a day.
I'm not interested in arguing with someone's self limiting belief and going back and forth. It's being done. Open your eyes a bit more.
Real life interactions over online.

I had been going out for years and been to bars picking up a few thousand times. I never saw many older guys usually 1 or 2 out of a crowd of thousands.. The few I see are shut out and standing on the sidelines, or just there with their older GF/date/wife. I don't need to open my eyes. Of course a good looking, aging well 40 year old can pick up younger women but that is the rare exception and not the rule.

 

[hithard]

I had been going out for years and been to bars picking up a few thousand times. I never saw many older guys usually 1 or 2 out of a crowd of thousands.. The few I see are shut out and standing on the sidelines, or just there with their older GF/date/wife. I don't need to open my eyes. Of course a good looking, aging well 40 year old can pick up younger women but that is the rare exception and not the rule.

You also need to take on-board a well developed social circle and social proof. If I go out to the meat markets (pubs/clubs). I generally go out with a few attractive women in tow. Or to a place I am well known at. Places like this are extremely hard for your average guy especially if you are single wolfing it. There are a lot of factors to deal with.
If I am out shopping or eating it tends to be a lot easier as you don't have to deal with a large group. You can also hear one another and have more time to talk. There is a fine line between coming off as a creeper or a guy they want to know.
The basics work for me.
Joking fluff talk> when I establish attraction and she is ready, I start to look into her eyes a lot more and start mixing in personal questions> begin kino.
There's resistance at different steps. I generally mix in location changes, time constraints, changing back to joking with her on lighter subjects.
The age question pops up. Usually it's a sign that she is mulling over the idea of fu.cking you depending on her tone. I try to turn it back on her so she has to qualify.
Friends are always the biggest problem.
I try to get them to the lay as quickly as possible and develop a deep emotional connection.
Never get them to the point of being horny too early and leave her alone. Other guys come in and steal your work.
I felt a road block at age 33-37 with younger women for some reason. Was always in the back of my mind.

 

[Stagger Lee]

So for Friday I had plans all week with a girl. She canceled Friday evening. She had seemed very promising. So around 10pm I went to meet this other girl. After a few minutes, she rejects me. Actually her male 'friend' told me she was rejecting me. I didn't take too kindly too that. I had tentative plans to meet another woman and texted, but she didn't reply to my text (Today she replied she had fell asleep). I went home and quickly made plans to meet another woman at a nearby bar. I arrived and she rejected me within moments. She said "hold on" and bolted out the door. She was 45, fat and way uglier than her pics. Back to home base. It's about 1:15 am and the bars will soon be closing. I texted this younger girl I had picked up at the downtown bars a year or so ago. She told me to come out. So I got to the bar downtown and I didn't see her and she didn't answer my texts. what is that 0/5 in one night. I've never had it this bad.

This song sums it up

 

[hithard]

Are you just going through a funk?
How long ago were you picking up successfully?
Do you dress well?
Did your previous game just rely on looks?
Are you


At some point you are losing these girls and I doubt it is from looks, but more through not making a connection and sparking interest.
Game is like alcohol. Sure you might be a little rough round the edges at first sight. But after a few minutes of drinking you start looking damn good.
You sound like you are getting stuck at the intial face meet and not escalating from there.

 

[Stagger Lee]

Are you just going through a funk?
How long ago were you picking up successfully?
Do you dress well?
Did your previous game just rely on looks?
Are you

I don't think it's just a funk. It seems to be the new normal for the past few years. I was picking up more successfully until about 5 or 6 years ago. I dress the same as then. My previous game didn't rely on looks anymore than any other around average guy. I was never considered a 'hot guy' and it was always tough going. But when I was 6 or 7 years younger I got attraction from women a lot more.

At some point you are losing these girls and I doubt it is from looks, but more through not making a connection and sparking interest.
Game is like alcohol. Sure you might be a little rough round the edges at first sight. But after a few minutes of drinking you start looking damn good.
You sound like you are getting stuck at the intial face meet and not escalating from there.

I'm losing them within seconds of first sight. I've already built some connection with online dating meet ups. They are eager and seem excited to meet, but I can tell I'm losing them at first sight in person. It's just about impossible to get them to perceive your personality/game in a positive or attractive manner if they don't believe your face is attractive enough. I believe at best with game/personality they'd just see you as a likable person and a friend but not sexual attraction.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Attraction cannot be negotiated. But, your SMV can by simple, straight-forward improvements.

"Aging," is an ambiguous term which lends no credence to your argument. What exactly is "aging" anyway? Is it a loss of facial fat? A subtle recession in the temple region? Loss of hair? Loss of skin elasticity? A slight sagging of the jowl? Droopy eyebrows or eyelids? Thinning or balding head? A curtailed jawline? What specifically are you referring to by "aging"?

Your argument holds little weight as "aging" has alternate meanings to alternate people. Nor does everybody "age" identically. Nor does "aging" equate to diminishing looks, unless accompanied by wasting aesthetics. I would argue that your problem is not "aging," but rather a weakening of your facial aesthetics which perpetuates a diminishing level of success, thus bolstering a defeatist attitude which exacerbates your success ratio further.

Begin, by correcting the aesthetic deficiency. If you don't know where to begin, feel free to drop a pic in this thread or through PM for a bona fide third-party perspective on where you actually stand with your aesthetics, which is allegedly making these women "run."

 

[Stagger Lee]

Attraction cannot be negotiated. But, your SMV can by simple, straight-forward improvements.

"Aging," is an ambiguous term which lends no credence to your argument. What exactly is "aging" anyway? Is it a loss of facial fat? A subtle recession in the temple region? Loss of hair? Loss of skin elasticity? A slight sagging of the jowl? Droopy eyebrows or eyelids? Thinning or balding head? A curtailed jawline? What specifically are you referring to by "aging"?

Your argument holds little weight as "aging" has alternate meanings to alternate people. Nor does everybody "age" identically. Nor does "aging" equate to diminishing looks, unless accompanied by wasting aesthetics. I would argue that your problem is not "aging," but rather a weakening of your facial aesthetics which perpetuates a diminishing level of success, thus bolstering a defeatist attitude which exacerbates your success ratio further.

Begin, by correcting the aesthetic deficiency. If you don't know where to begin, feel free to drop a pic in this thread or through PM for a bona fide third-party perspective on where you actually stand with your aesthetics, which is allegedly making these women "run."

Everyone ages slightly different and at different rates, but everyone ages and their youthful appearance and cuteness fades. Usually by your late 30's most people show various signs of aging and people know they're older. The point I'm making women care about looks and aging in men a whole lot. A person just isn't going to be able to look as attractive as their prime 20's when they're 40. The real test is are women attracted to you or not. They were about 5 or 6 years back but not now.

 

[Tictac]

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Everyone ages slightly different and at different rates, but everyone ages and their youthful appearance and cuteness fades. Usually by your late 30's most people show various signs of aging and people know they're older. The point I'm making women care about looks and aging in men a whole lot. A person just isn't going to be able to look as attractive as their prime 20's when they're 40. The real test is are women attracted to you or not. They were about 5 or 6 years back but not now.

"Aging" has no relevance to your attractiveness. Rather, male and female attractiveness is based on how closely your facial aesthetics conform to the golden ratio (the "GR"). Now if your facial aesthetics are weakening, thus diverging from the GR (i.e. fat depositories shifting, receding hairline, bone and collagen loss in the face) as a result of improper care, maintenance, excessive cortisol, genetic predisposition, then you are correct in your assessment of your diminishing appearance. However ... "aging," ipso facto, is not the cause (divergence from the GR is) of your falling aesthetics but rather related to the cause for some, just as drug or alcohol use is related to the cause for others.

The good news is YOU can do something about it.

 

[Stagger Lee]

"Aging" has no relevance to your attractiveness. Rather, male and female attractiveness is based on how closely your facial aesthetics conform to the golden ratio (the "GR"). Now if your facial aesthetics are weakening, thus diverging from the GR (i.e. fat depositories shifting, receding hairline, bone and collagen loss in the face) as a result of improper care, maintenance, excessive cortisol, genetic predisposition, then you are correct in your assessment of your diminishing appearance. However ... "aging," ipso facto, is not the cause (divergence from the GR is) of your falling aesthetics but rather related to the cause for some, just as drug or alcohol use is related to the cause for others.

The good news is YOU can do something about it.

Aging is relevant to the attraction of everything. All people age in their face and there's no way to stop it. All living things age and change. Puppies are cute and old dogs aren't. Nature intended for people to be most attractive at their peak and not for much longer afterwards. Even inanimate objects age, fade and corrode over time. It's just the laws of nature.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Aging is relevant to the attraction of everything. All people age in their face and there's no way to stop it. All living things age and change. Puppies are cute and old dogs aren't. Nature intended for people to be most attractive at their peak and not for much longer afterwards. Even inanimate objects age, fade and corrode over time. It's just the laws of nature.

If aging is directly relevant to loss of attraction than ALL or MOST aged men wouldn't be able to attract the most attractive women (to them) at their "advanced" age, correct? There would be no or hardly any exceptions to your absolute syllogism, "Aging decreases your physical attractiveness." The myriad exceptions in society (and in this thread) clearly belie your "rule." Myriad men your age, or 10-15 years your senior, are at their sexual prime. But you aren't, why? Because your belief is biased (to you), unfounded, and clearly unsubstantiated to the whole of men. Refer to the counter-position of the golden ratio of aesthetics in Post 77, backed by concrete facts, as opposed to self-serving limiting beliefs.

Care for citations and data, or shall we continue jabbering bald, conclusory, unsupported, self-serving assertions?

 

[Kailex]

If you talk to a woman, she might say she'd never date a guy 10 years older than her. But then put an attractive guy 15 years older in front of her and she'll go for him without batting an eye.

That's one problem with online dating, she can eliminate you based on your statistics, and real life attraction never gets a chance to enter into it.

And this is why I'd probably never do online dating again. I don't need to stab myself in the foot and eliminate myself based on silly categories that would be otherwise overlooked in regular interactions.

I've had more success out with friends or through friendly interactions at Meetup or several like-minded non-internet groups than I had on online dating where someone would disqualify me for not meeting their 5"9' or over criteria when I am standing at 5"8'.

 

[Tictac]

Aging is relevant to the attraction of everything. All people age in their face and there's no way to stop it. All living things age and change. Puppies are cute and old dogs aren't. Nature intended for people to be most attractive at their peak and not for much longer afterwards. Even inanimate objects age, fade and corrode over time. It's just the laws of nature.

LOL

 

[zekko]

Stagger, I think you're too caught up in what you (and other men) desire in a mate. Men respond to youth cues moreso than women. What we want is not always what they want.

Women want a MAN, they don't want a man who is a puppy.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Agree that men and women are programmed to like different things, n doubt about it but considering the sheep mind of the average women and how media are on purpose trying to make women think like men and men being subjcted to the same rules women are, I believe some wrinkles on your face can harm.

Given a mind calibrated on what nature wants with no media influence no man would get a former wh0re as a girlfriend while no woman would mind some rugged feature on a man face, but we all know there are brainwhashed captain saveaho and sex&thecity minded women looking for a boy toy.

 

[SAYNO]

Hmm, why don't you just blame your lack of attraction and success with women like you do with everything else. "DIVERSITY"! When I was 45 three years ago I was dating five women, their ages were: 19, 27, 33, 34, and 45! The 19 year old was a real head turner too! You are correct that looks matter, I was blessed genetically in the top 10 percent looks wise, so I'm sure that alot of it was just based on attraction. But even after I hurt my back and gained some weight I never let my situation affect me, but that's how I approach everything in life. All I ever see you do is whine normally about race. Maybe if you put more effort into working on those areas where you are deficient you'd be happier. Not saying that looks don't matter but like others have told you its still only part of the package.

 

[Glumix]

Hmm, why don't you just blame your lack of attraction and success with women like you do with everything else. "DIVERSITY"! When I was 45 three years ago I was dating five women, their ages were: 19, 27, 33, 34, and 45! The 19 year old was a real head turner too! You are correct that looks matter, I was blessed genetically in the top 10 percent looks wise, so I'm sure that alot of it was just based on attraction. But even after I hurt my back and gained some weight I never let my situation affect me, but that's how I approach everything in life. All I ever see you do is whine normally about race. Maybe if you put more effort into working on those areas where you are deficient you'd be happier. Not saying that looks don't matter but like others have told you its still only part of the package.

Love to hear that kind of story. I am not a gamer and don't care about having lot of women but the thoughts I will be able to pick-up even 35 yo women when I will be 45 soothe my soul.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Hmm, why don't you just blame your lack of attraction and success with women like you do with everything else. "DIVERSITY"! When I was 45 three years ago I was dating five women, their ages were: 19, 27, 33, 34, and 45! The 19 year old was a real head turner too! You are correct that looks matter, I was blessed genetically in the top 10 percent looks wise, so I'm sure that alot of it was just based on attraction. But even after I hurt my back and gained some weight I never let my situation affect me, but that's how I approach everything in life. All I ever see you do is whine normally about race. Maybe if you put more effort into working on those areas where you are deficient you'd be happier. Not saying that looks don't matter but like others have told you its still only part of the package.

I see your in Dallas. What age range was working out the best for you?

 

[SAYNO]

I see your in Dallas. What age range was working out the best for you?

Good question, definitely not the 19 year old, lol, she was too immature and I was going through a divorce and she wanted to get married, and after I told her I wasn't ready she became very, very moody which of course ruined the relationship (plus I had four other females I was fooling around with) but man in the first 3 months we were together we had sex everyday sometimes multiple times, and it was the best sex I've ever had in my lifetime. The reason why I'm going on and on about it is because my experience is just the opposite of staggers'! And a few of the guys that I worked with also had different experiences, there was a guy at my job named Morris that had a very pretty 22 year old that worked in our same department, but again he was 6'2 chiseled with model looks too and 38 yrs old. I guess I'm the wrong person to be talking about these things because me and Morris and a few of the other guys that I worked with might just be outliers and maybe most guys have had different experiences. But again since I've both seen it and done it myself I'm sure its possible.
But to answer your question I've noticed that the age range that worked out best were the range between 27-35, after that age I started noticing too much b!tchiness, bitterness, stubbornness and weird hang-ups and mental instability like one time I met this pretty marketing analyst(38 yrs old)and one of the first things she says to me is I will never submit to you, I was like wtf! I had never had a female just come out and say something like this, I knew right then sh!t test or not she was going to be a pump and dump and no she was not kidding. Like I said females after a certain age just aren't worth the effort to me anymore, plus with social media and the manginas they are getting worse and worse, and after you've fuc!ked over 200 females you start looking for other qualities..